To s***t in the garden

[shhhFFS]

Humorous post. Dp has irritable bowels. It’s our anniversary tomorrow and we are going out for a meal first since lockdown so I decided to have a pamper night with my eldest. Also to have a bath first and to shave areas that haven’t seen the light of day. Also I have very much been running the ship and a peaceful night was well on the cards, largely due to DP putting his back out at work. Basically I needed this before I lose my s**t and he knows that

Whilst I was in the bath DPs tummy started acting up. Instead of disturbing my bath he decided to shit in the garden instead of either A. Coming into the bathroom and s*ing whilst I was in there and this ruining my peaceful bath or B. Demanding I get out the bath ASAP so he could s*t, either way peaceful bath ruined. He’s embarrassed and has cleaned it up.

I don’t have an AIBU because the man I love chose to shit in the garden rather than disturb my peaceful bath time.

So basically despite the dirty deed I feel this is true love and I’m glad I will be marrying this man one day from tomorrow!

It’s a direct response to another post @ilovesooty

It's just different strokes for different folks.

My husband knows that no matter how deep the water, how foamy the bubbles- if it's a toss up between knocking and SHITTING IN THE GARDEN, I'd want the knock.

I’m not the OP @Thisismytimetoshine you don’t need to worry about my bar and whether or not anyone has done a shit on it

So who's cleaning up the shit in the back garden so the kids don't go out and step in it.

And I gave two toilets so it wouldn’t be an issue, still think it’s sweet no matter what crap you chuck at me 😂

@PablosHoney

Those shite dolls people horrified by loo rolls cover them with

People are not horrified by loo rolls. I think you're fundamentally confused as to why people don't think shitting in the garden is, and I quote "adorable", Pablo

No shitting on bars now, H&S hazard right there.

I guess whoever shits in the garden clears it up

This would gross me out. But more importantly did he do it within full view of neighbours windows? And on the pavement/grass or in something?
Provide him with a bucket or bin bags in future.
My ex used to pee in my flowers when I was in the bath, found out when I put my hand in it whilst weeding one morning. Disgusting thing to do.

Fair rule

@Staplemaple

he was just being thoughtful. Nothing to suggest that DP would have forbidden him to use the toilet or punished him for doing so, it sounds like he made the decision for himself. But I guess blokes don't do anything like that without being forced into it by a nasty woman.

The Op posted exactly to gloat. If my DH was reduced to shitting in the garden so as not to disturb my bath I would be horrified. And don't start with the nasty woman tirade and all the poor men. I'm talking about this one situation

Second toilet needed. That's pretty grim.

Not everybody has enough room to install a second toilet.

I would have asked the dh to vacate the bathroom. We’re very overlooked! Also, I like to poo in relative comfort. With loo roll etc.

Nah!!!

I wouldn't want him shitting in the garden

That is vile

He couldn't just shit in a bucket in the house?

Coming soon to a supermarket near you...

For those household bodily fluid mishaps, meet the perfect accessory to the Penis Beaker - the Shitbucket™

What's troubling me is that a single toilet sort of house is likely to be one with neighbours In close proximity..

For the people doubting me, good for you that your DP doesn’t have a bowel problem!

Personally I'd prefer my bath to be interrupted!!

@PablosHoney

And I quote 😂😂 you sound like someone I’d like to shit on.

You are a bit of a dick, really. Stop posting at me, I'm ignoring you the way I'd ignore a bratty 8 year old. Saddo.

Why did this pooer not marry you before you had children?

@shhhFFS so you know your partner has a bowel problem, why not let him use the toilet then? It's just coming across as very mean and degrading

Rather you than me. Couple o wrong uns

I believe OP's tale. Unfortunately I could add a similar tale to the thread but I won't, to protect the dignity of the person in question.