To s***t in the garden

[shhhFFS]

Humorous post. Dp has irritable bowels. It’s our anniversary tomorrow and we are going out for a meal first since lockdown so I decided to have a pamper night with my eldest. Also to have a bath first and to shave areas that haven’t seen the light of day. Also I have very much been running the ship and a peaceful night was well on the cards, largely due to DP putting his back out at work. Basically I needed this before I lose my s**t and he knows that

Whilst I was in the bath DPs tummy started acting up. Instead of disturbing my bath he decided to shit in the garden instead of either A. Coming into the bathroom and s*ing whilst I was in there and this ruining my peaceful bath or B. Demanding I get out the bath ASAP so he could s*t, either way peaceful bath ruined. He’s embarrassed and has cleaned it up.

I don’t have an AIBU because the man I love chose to shit in the garden rather than disturb my peaceful bath time.

So basically despite the dirty deed I feel this is true love and I’m glad I will be marrying this man one day from tomorrow!

Darling, darling husband asleep beside me as I try not to disturb him laughing.

He was thinking on his feet.

May you always be so cherished Op..life can be very short...

Ooh well rather you than me, but as they say there's someone for everyone. You'll not be sitting out for a few days I take it?

I bet the people so distressed by this have fucking toilet roll dolls, it was kind of him OP. Some people on here act like shit doesn’t happen

@BadTattoosAndSmellLikeBooze
I’m with you 🤔

I find this Hole thread Disturding

Bet the naysayers partners would shit on them to protect themselves let alone let them bathe in peace 😂

@PablosHoney

I bet the people so distressed by this have fucking toilet roll dolls, it was kind of him OP. Some people on here act like shit doesn’t happen

Shit doesn't happen? Hardly. It doesn't have to happen in the garden whilst Lady Muck lolls in the bath.

Are you upper middle class?

Your DP, who suffers from IBS, and to shit in the garden and clear it up rather than disturb your bath? That's just cruel and not something to laugh about

Or he was just being thoughtful. Nothing to suggest that DP would have forbidden him to use the toilet or punished him for doing so, it sounds like he made the decision for himself. But I guess blokes don't do anything like that without being forced into it by a nasty woman.

@PablosHoney
Of course everyone shits but not everyone likes to think of their partner doing in it the garden. It is weird AF. And it would 'give me the ick' forever.

@PablosHoney

I bet the people so distressed by this have fucking toilet roll dolls, it was kind of him OP. Some people on here act like shit doesn’t happen

I don't see people "distressed" by it.

OP*

He couldn't just shit in a bucket in the house? Surely that's better than the garden. Sue that happened.

What the fuck is a toilet roll doll?

Oh yeah god forbid a woman has a bath, he made his choice! It’s not as if he knocked on the door and was barred entry, lady muck! That expression can get in the bin alongside any other 1970s crap you might be peddling 😂

Seriously, dude you need a second toilet! But yes, he's a keeper.

I think it is hilarious and maybe a best man part of the speech story to tell 🤣

What have toilet roll dolls got to do with the price of shit fish?

@Iggly

I think that’s grim tbh.

I’d rather my husband disturbed my bath, because I’d understand if he had a medical condition!

Yes this.If I had a dodgy stomach the last thing I'd think of doing would be to shut in the garden. How odd!

OP your bar for romantic gestures is disturbingly low! That is absolutely rank.

Those shite dolls people horrified by loo rolls cover them with

Are you upper middle class?

Surely if that were the case, he would have had several toilets to choose from.

Are you upper middle class?

Is this one of the definining characteristics?

@PablosHoney

Oh yeah god forbid a woman has a bath, he made his choice! It’s not as if he knocked on the door and was barred entry, lady muck! That expression can get in the bin alongside any other 1970s crap you might be peddling 😂

I don't think I understand that post.

Do you think shitting in the garden is a romantic gesture, Pablos? Time to raise the bar a little.