To s***t in the garden

[shhhFFS]

Humorous post. Dp has irritable bowels. It’s our anniversary tomorrow and we are going out for a meal first since lockdown so I decided to have a pamper night with my eldest. Also to have a bath first and to shave areas that haven’t seen the light of day. Also I have very much been running the ship and a peaceful night was well on the cards, largely due to DP putting his back out at work. Basically I needed this before I lose my s**t and he knows that

Whilst I was in the bath DPs tummy started acting up. Instead of disturbing my bath he decided to shit in the garden instead of either A. Coming into the bathroom and s*ing whilst I was in there and this ruining my peaceful bath or B. Demanding I get out the bath ASAP so he could s*t, either way peaceful bath ruined. He’s embarrassed and has cleaned it up.

I don’t have an AIBU because the man I love chose to shit in the garden rather than disturb my peaceful bath time.

So basically despite the dirty deed I feel this is true love and I’m glad I will be marrying this man one day from tomorrow!

You need a 2nd bathroom if your partner has that condition.

If he has ibs there would have been be a lot of splatter to deal with. He needs to make sure it’s cleaned properly

LAST POST WAS OCTOBER 2020 🧟‍♂️🧟🧟🧟‍♂️

That’s disgusting. I’m glad I don’t have you as a neighbour.

If my DH had take to shitting in the garden before we married I would not have married him.

@Ozanj

If he has ibs there would have been be a lot of splatter to deal with. He needs to make sure it’s cleaned properly

Surerain cleaned it by now anyway

Omg 🤮

Bag for life are a better option out in the garden but easier to dispose of

Urgh. Just urgh. Urgh.

Why tell you? Urgh.

Problem for me would be that it would make him undesirable sexually. It turns him into an incontinent baby.

OP this is brilliant....I see the mumsnet police are out in force (sad lonely lives the lot of them).... happy pre wedding anniversary

bit fetishy kind of a post, doesn't seem right, why post about this

@crosstalk

OP I'm with your DH. It can be so urgent you can't even wait for someone to get out of the bath. Another one looking for a second loo.

This thread is months old. Why on earth did you resurrect it?!

@SRS29

OP this is brilliant....I see the mumsnet police are out in force (sad lonely lives the lot of them).... happy pre wedding anniversary

Ermmmm

The date 😂

How are you ever going to look him in the eye again ?

Ohhh, not long until the wedding!!! I hope it’s still on!

Just when I think I've read everything on here...

@ThighthighOfthigh

There's nothing to clear up if you shit into a bag and put the toilet roll in the bag too. Just resourceful.

Well yes, I am assuming he did not pull his pants down and crap all over the dahlias, you'd squat over a carrier bag or something, surely?

I have contemplated (but never used) that cat’s litter tray

I wee'd in the cats litter tray once as a child of around 8. The neighbour had spent the afternoon convincing me that the house was haunted and I was too scared to go up and use the bathroom

I hope your garden is private. It’ll make an interesting wedding speech anecdote I suppose…no, probably best not to mention it.

Careful OP, if the neighbour saw she might fall in love with him too.

the OP of another thread attracting a lot of posts this evening would probably like your partner to be sole tradesperson permitted to doff his cap and work in her house.

ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE

Jesus Christ what’s with the “had a poo” stories on here today? Is he a tradesman as well. Sorry I haven’t RTFT as this is 🙄

Oh blimey, sorry got sucked into a Zombie thread 😂😂😂

Your DH2B is so sweet -- in a weird way!

Has he been tested for coeliac disease? IBS can sometimes arise from gluten allergy. My dad had terrible IBS for years; it turned out he was coeliac, and so am I.

Arrrrrgh, ZOMBIE!!!!!