To s***t in the garden

[shhhFFS]

Humorous post. Dp has irritable bowels. It’s our anniversary tomorrow and we are going out for a meal first since lockdown so I decided to have a pamper night with my eldest. Also to have a bath first and to shave areas that haven’t seen the light of day. Also I have very much been running the ship and a peaceful night was well on the cards, largely due to DP putting his back out at work. Basically I needed this before I lose my s**t and he knows that

Whilst I was in the bath DPs tummy started acting up. Instead of disturbing my bath he decided to shit in the garden instead of either A. Coming into the bathroom and s*ing whilst I was in there and this ruining my peaceful bath or B. Demanding I get out the bath ASAP so he could s*t, either way peaceful bath ruined. He’s embarrassed and has cleaned it up.

I don’t have an AIBU because the man I love chose to shit in the garden rather than disturb my peaceful bath time.

So basically despite the dirty deed I feel this is true love and I’m glad I will be marrying this man one day from tomorrow!

Tomorrow is our 6 year anniversary of when we first met. Also tomorrow is 1 year until we get married. So 1 year tomorrow I will be getting married!!! To the man who shits in the garden. And I couldn’t be happier 😂

Total keeper, op ❤️

Lol at the people saying how can it be your anniversary if you aren't married yet. Isn't is obvious? Anniversary of when they got together. And then they will get married.

Op. This is adorable.

For those who think it is vile, you know how many other things shit in your garden?

Don't get how it's your anniversary tomorrow and you're marrying him the day after tomorrow. I smell shite.

@cdtaylornats

For those who think it is vile, you know how many other things shit in your garden?

No one who I share a bed with

@cdtaylornats

For those who think it is vile, you know how many other things shit in your garden?

Wildlife can't come indoors to use the toilet. Are you seriously suggesting it's ok for a grown man to shit in the garden like an animal because squirrels do it?!

So gross.

I’m glad I will be marrying this man one day from tomorrow!
And now it's next year? 🤣🤣🤣

I'm more concerned with the practicalities
did he take a trowel?
is your garden not overlooked?
did he use a dock leaf?....if so the only good use for dock
I hope he didn't do it in the vicinity of a food crop, at least not one that is eaten raw (a fruit tree might be ok)
but on the whole I'd say a noble gesture
happy anniversary

I’m just trying to imagine the AIBU from your neighbours ‘should I tell my neighbour that her DH left a log by their plum tree then wiped his bum by the tomatoes?’

Presumably you are not overlooked as otherwise there will be a thread along soon about someone seeing their neighbour shit on his lawn

Op. This is adorable.
Christ. 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Adorable indeed. If you're a dog or something.

Lol at adorable. Such a sweet tale to tell to the grandkids. (Insert vom emoji)

Ewww. That is foul. What about your neighbours?

Yes get it’s gross. I think it’s gross so does he. He won’t be taking it up as a hobby. He nabbed the pack of baby wipes as he dashed out the back door. We have children young enough that there is a pack of baby wipes in every room in case of emergency. My bad, I thought this was funny, it summed up me and my DP, I still think it’s funny

@BadTattoosAndSmellLikeBooze

And he rushed in to tell you? 🤮

And then OP rushed to tell Mumsnet. Weird as fuck.

Poo troll?

It might be I suppose but that's troll hunting

If my husband had a dodgy tum he would have known that asking me to get out of the bath the best and most sensible option. If it had been me in the bath I would prefer to be asked to get out of the bath than having him shit in the garden.

He wouldn't have shat in our garden. I wouldn't want him to.
I think it's weird and pretty disgusting.

@Thisismytimetoshine

Op. This is adorable. Christ. 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Well exactly.

Silentpikebath - ROFL!

If he defecated anywhere near my alstroemerias, his corpse would be fertilising the roses this autumn.

I'm sure you'll be very happy together, with both of you thinking shitting in the garden is hilariously amusing.

How will he top this for your next anniversary, do you think? No doubt you'll pop along to let us know.

What is this the anniversary of?

No, it's not cute or whatever you think it is.

Your DP, who suffers from IBS, and to shit in the garden and clear it up rather than disturb your bath? That's just cruel and not something to laugh about