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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To s***t in the garden

279 replies

shhhFFS · 01/08/2020 22:36

Humorous post. Dp has irritable bowels. It’s our anniversary tomorrow and we are going out for a meal first since lockdown so I decided to have a pamper night with my eldest. Also to have a bath first and to shave areas that haven’t seen the light of day. Also I have very much been running the ship and a peaceful night was well on the cards, largely due to DP putting his back out at work. Basically I needed this before I lose my s**t and he knows that

Whilst I was in the bath DPs tummy started acting up. Instead of disturbing my bath he decided to shit in the garden instead of either A. Coming into the bathroom and s*ing whilst I was in there and this ruining my peaceful bath or B. Demanding I get out the bath ASAP so he could s*t, either way peaceful bath ruined. He’s embarrassed and has cleaned it up.

I don’t have an AIBU because the man I love chose to shit in the garden rather than disturb my peaceful bath time.

So basically despite the dirty deed I feel this is true love and I’m glad I will be marrying this man one day from tomorrow!

OP posts:
Thisismytimetoshine · 02/08/2020 00:26

@eaglejulesk

I do hope none of you delicate flowers ever find yourself in a situation where there isn't a working toilet available (eg a natural disaster) - you would never cope!
There is no comparison whatsoever. Literally none.
ScaryInternet · 02/08/2020 00:31

But there was a working toilet available. Comparing this to a 'natural disaster' is bonkers.

DDemelza · 02/08/2020 00:31

@eaglejulesk

I do hope none of you delicate flowers ever find yourself in a situation where there isn't a working toilet available (eg a natural disaster) - you would never cope!
Fun fact: when this happened to our town, the army swiftly provided every household with chemical toilets.
WhenCoronaWasALager · 02/08/2020 00:36

What did the neighbours say? Grin

midsummabreak · 02/08/2020 00:41

Hope it doesn’t cause a stink with the neighbours!

Hadjab · 02/08/2020 00:42

@shhhFFS I ❤️ This post 🤣

Sproutpie · 02/08/2020 00:50

Thanks for over sharing. Is nothing private anymore?

GarlicSoup · 02/08/2020 01:22

@LaMarschallin

so I decided to have a pamper night with my eldest

Maybe DP could have had a Pampers night?

^ Genius Grin
Babyvibe · 02/08/2020 01:45

This post is hilarious. You have a very weird but thoughtful partner.

WhatWouldYouDoWhatWouldJesusDo · 02/08/2020 02:44

Tell him to put a carrier bag under his arse next time.

vikingwife · 02/08/2020 02:54

I hope it was the back garden not the front ! Grin

This is actually quite funny & sweet. Am wondering what he used for toilet paper, am guessing a napkin or similar? (Assuming you store your toilet paper in the bathroom & not the linen cupboard etc)

Be sure to save this story for a future speech...that’s a ripper!

Iloveyoutothefridgeandback · 02/08/2020 03:01

How did he clean it up?

vikingwife · 02/08/2020 03:21

@Iloveyoutothefridgeandback

I imagine him kicking his legs backwards to push dirt over the poo, like dogs do

eaglejulesk · 02/08/2020 04:03

But there was a working toilet available. Comparing this to a 'natural disaster' is bonkers.

FFS - I didn't compare it to a natural disaster, I merely said that the many "delicate flowers" who simply couldn't cope with a man shitting in the garden might find themselves in for a shock some day if they find they can't use their own toilet and had to go where they could. God there are some pathetic precious people on MN - and really, would it hurt some of you to search for a sense of humour!

eaglejulesk · 02/08/2020 04:05

Fun fact: when this happened to our town, the army swiftly provided every household with chemical toilets.

Fun fact - if this happens on a huge scale the army don't have time to provide the chemical toilets before everyone needs to use one, and sometimes there are more urgent needs than toilets.

ghostyslovesheets · 02/08/2020 04:10

🤢🤮

ellaandthebella · 02/08/2020 04:31

I think it is quite thoughtful if he suffers regularly from IBS or some other bowel complaint. Random upset stomach maybe less so..

Mummyoflittledragon · 02/08/2020 04:32

@Lindtballsrock

It would be nicer if he made sure that having a peaceful bath was not such a rare and unusual treat for you that he would shit in the garden rather than disturb it.
This. I think a downstairs loo should be your first priority in life.
saltedunicorns · 02/08/2020 05:46

christ, some people have sticks up their asses Hmm i thought it was quite funny op!

ttigerlilly · 02/08/2020 06:07

Wow there are some people on here seriously lacking a sense of humour! How boring

Happy anniversary OP ThanksSmile

LagunaBubbles · 02/08/2020 06:29

Its not funny or adorable. Don't get the big deal of him coming into use the toilet anyway.

Socre383 · 02/08/2020 06:33

God love that man. As someone with Crohn’s disease I know that horrible feeling all too well, it’s the reason we moved to a house with 3 toilets.

You should buy a commode. No shame in it. It’ll give him peace of mind and save his dignity along the way.

CrowdedHouseinQuarantine · 02/08/2020 06:47

frankly wrong

speakout · 02/08/2020 06:54

I think it's romantic.

My OH sometimes urinates in my handbag as a loving gesture.
We both think it's sweet.

Sheenais · 02/08/2020 06:55

I couldn’t marry a man that did that. It is fucking weird.