To think buying things for a baby doesn't cause miscarriage

[AliceAbsolum]

Newly pregnant, due in July. Thrilled. My mum said to me yesterday "Now don't start buying anything until after spring next year, you'll jinx it".

Sorry what?

Is this a 'boomer' thing?

I mean I don't intend to have the pram downstairs ready to go for 6 months and a fully decorated nursery, but getting the odd thing, especially in the January sales seems sensible to me

Urgh I hate this agist 'boomer' shit. I'm sure it's nothing to do with her age. Lots of people are superstitious and don't buy things. I did buy things before my first pregnancy and I regret it, because at the 12 week scan I was told the baby had Edwards syndrome and would die. I lost the baby at 14 weeks and had to look at that dam buggy every day whilst I cried.
Buy stuff if you want, but don't rubbish other peoples feelings.

Sounds like a 1950s superstition to me! Be happy in your pregnancy and ignore it!

It obviously doesn't cause miscarriage, it's just a personal decision whether you're comfortable buying things before certain points in the pregnancy. Nothing wrong with starting, nothing wrong with waiting. Do what you're comfortable with.

Of course it doesn't.

I only bought one thing and then miscarried it was very very hard sending that to the charity shop.

Sure what would you mother know. eh.

I would wait until after your 12 week scan in January as if it doesn’t go well you’ll feel so sad seeing the things.

Congratulations and enjoy your pregnancy!

Your body your baby your life your decision. Just thank her for her advice and do your own thing. You will need to practice this anyway, as ‘advice’ will be coming from all sides.

Is this a 'boomer' thing?

I agree with a pp the whole "ok boomer" is ageist as fuck

But there are some odd superstitions, including "don't keep your pram in the house til baby is born" - for me we had no where else to put it except maybe in the bush outside yet my mum got her knickers in a right knot about it!

No one says it caused miscarriage but as the ladies above have said it feels mighty shit looking at that stuff if you have a miscarriage or get bad news at your scan. It’s going to be a long pregnancy for you if you think you’re an expert on everything already!

I think it’s a superstition that goes back far further than post WW2. In times past many pregnancies and births did not result in a new baby which may we’ll account for this. In more modern times it seems to be. Ore applied to pram for some reason.

Anyway congratulations on your pregnancy. Certainly no need to start buying yet but you’re right, buying in the latter stages will have no impact whatsoever on the outcome.

1 in 6 pregnancies doesn’t work out. It’s incredibly common (sadly) I’ve also experienced this and it was devastating. I waited till my 20 week scan to buy anything. Congratulations

I didn’t buy anything until after my 20 week scan not because I thought buying anything would cause a miscarriage but because I would have been heartbroken looking at little babygrows I wouldn’t be able to use if I’d have lost the baby.

I think our parents generations saw a lot more loss than we’re used to in 2019.

Advances in midwifery etc have meant that high risk pregnancies can be identified earlier with much better outcomes. Childbirth is also less dangerous.

Both my DH’s grandmothers lost babies at full term (inc one set of twins). As a result my in-laws were a bit more superstitious and hesitant about getting excited because they’d seen that loss so close to home.

YABU for the ageist boomer insult.

No I don't believe buying things causes miscarriage, but I do believe that it's very hard to see baby things in your home if you're no longer carrying the baby you bought them for.

I didn't buy anything until 30+ weeks, just put the money aside until then.

It’s not a boomer thing, it’s usually a thing people who have had miscarriages / stillbirths (or who know people who did) say. Because there are few things more painful to a woman who has just given birth than having to pack away an entire nursery after a miscarriage / stillbirth.

It’s one of the reasons why in South Asian families we are not encouraged to buy anything - the initial stuff comes from other people, and if the worst happens then they will take their gifts back to return them.

Of course buying stuff doesn't cause mc. It just happens. But having the stuff around can make you feel worse if you do mc.

It sounds like your mum is probably trying to protect you if the worst happens and you miscarry, she's not suggesting that buying anything would cause it.

But it's absolutely your choice, all the best with your pregnancy and congratulations!

No it's not a sodding "boomer" thing. It's a "mothers from an era when more babies were lost" thing, and yes that might well include your mother.

I bought nothing til I was gone 24 weeks, because I knew my DM had multiple miscarriages prior to that date. It seemed foolish to bank on a successful pregnancy the minute the second line appeared.

As someone who had a miscarriage at 12 weeks, and a premature baby at 28 weeks - having baby stuff in the house would have been very upsetting. Just sayin'

Oh it's a superstition thing! OK that makes more sense. She is all out white rabbits / no new shoes on the table /never give a knife as a present as you'll cut someone out the family.

Yeah true the boomer thing is agest. But as is the shit thrown at millennials. There's a FB group called "boomers why are they like this".

It's probably a good idea to wait until the 20 week scan to buy stuff to be on the safe side OR 12 week scan at least. It's not because buying stuff makes miscarriage more likely- obviously that's superstitious nonsense- but because it might make you sad if anything does go wrong.

I didn’t buy anything until 30 odd weeks. I don’t believe in jinxing, but I knew how devastated I would have been to have miscarried, and felt it would have made it worse to have a pram/carry cot/clothing sitting there and no baby.

Yes I doubt your mother is really saying If you buy something it's going to cause a miscarriage, probably just a kinder way of saying, miscarriages can happen early on, better off waiting a bit before buying stuff.........

In Jewish culture you only buy things after the baby is born. It seems ghoulish to me not to be able to even give something at 38 weeks (and causes no end of problems for parents who must obtain ALL their baby stuff only after the birth!), but it's a remnant of an earlier time when death was more common.