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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be astounded by how many people at work are having affairs

275 replies

Phineasdidit · 13/10/2019 10:39

I recently took a secondment to another department (previous department was very female heavy), out of maybe 40/50 men a good 20 of them are currently having affairs. Either with colleagues, or women in other departments.

Common knowledge, not gossip.

There doesn’t seem to be any age factor or mid life crisis going on. Just an attitude of 🤷‍♀️ that’s real life.

I don’t mind saying where I work (NHS), so lots of opportunity with late nights and working closely but I’m still astounded by how open they are about it.

OP posts:
ssd · 13/10/2019 10:41

I don't know how they can be arsed.

yawnhedehihi · 13/10/2019 10:42

People have affairs in most companies, it's where people spend most of their time.

MsTSwift · 13/10/2019 10:43

City law firm about one third of the partners (all were Male) having affairs 100% of those that travelled regularly with work. This was a while ago may have changed

Inebriati · 13/10/2019 10:44

Thats a big red flag for the company. Do they have a high staff turnover?

Mammylamb · 13/10/2019 10:45

That many people have affairs? Seriously ?

PositiveVibez · 13/10/2019 10:46

Many moons ago, when I were a pass, I worked in a large college and affairs were absolutely bloody rife!!!! It was astounding.

NachoFries · 13/10/2019 10:46

Perhaps they think they’re reenacting Grey’s Anatomy? 🤣

snottysystem · 13/10/2019 10:47

I think affairs are much more common then many people realise. My sibling is in the Police & it's rife there too.

PositiveVibez · 13/10/2019 10:47

*lass

YouJustDoYou · 13/10/2019 10:47

Sounds average stats to me.

SprinkleDash · 13/10/2019 10:59

Me and DH always joke that even if we wanted to have an affair neither of us could be bothered. I’m astounded people have the time and energy and this is coming from me who doesn’t have kids! My evenings consist of Netflix and petting our cat!

Phineasdidit · 13/10/2019 10:59

Really are we all just forcing ourselves into monogamy then? It clearly doesn’t work for us as a species

BUT, it’s married men shagging single women. Married women having affairs seem to be thin on the ground

OP posts:
Phineasdidit · 13/10/2019 11:01

I don’t think “how can they be arsed”, we all know what the first flush of sexual attraction is like, I can understand how it happens but not at the rate it does!

OP posts:
snottysystem · 13/10/2019 11:03

@Phineasdidit One of my bosses who I really liked & looked up too confessed she was having an affair with an old flame. I was shocked as an innocent 24 yr old. Married, 2 dcs, perfect house etc.

One of my neighbours recently divorced, his wife had an affair.

I think women are maybe more choosy & secretive about it. Like other posters though I wish I had the energy, I can barely move from the sofa!

SwedishEdith · 13/10/2019 11:05

I miss speculating about who was having affairs. They seem to have dropped out of view where I work.

FavouriteSong · 13/10/2019 11:07

I work for the NHS, in my department there's an equal amount of men and women. We all work 12.5 hour shifts in a dementia assessment unit, and I don't think anyone has the energy or inclination to have an affair, we're all exhausted. I may be wrong though. Perhaps Steve and Brenda are at it over the bedpan crusher while the rest of us are busy looking after our vulnerable patients.

Phineasdidit · 13/10/2019 11:10

@FavouriteSong, it’s mostly higher ups shagging the admin girls from what I can tell. In one case an 8D shagging a band 2 ward clerk!!! That’s risking a lot for a quick how’s your father.

OP posts:
nmc99 · 13/10/2019 11:13

I'm in the civil service and know of both men and women having affairs - it does sometimes feel like everyone is at it!

Duckegg271 · 13/10/2019 11:18

I’m nhs too, theatres. Its unbelievable the amount of flirting that goes on during surgery.

SignedUpJust4This · 13/10/2019 11:19

In my experience of the workplace many old men will risk everything for a quick shag with a younger woman. They see it as par for the course in marriage. They know their wives will probably forgive but they dont ever seriously consider that they will get caught when they are thinking wih their dicks.

Buster72 · 13/10/2019 11:19

I doubt anyone is shagging in the ward.
But if you finish at odds times and have funny days off when your spouse / partner is working the opportunities to play away are limitless

Mesaageinmybottle · 13/10/2019 11:19

Used to be rife in nhs years back when nurses would often be shagging the Doctors.

ukgift2016 · 13/10/2019 11:21

I work in a female dominated office (social services) you don't hear much about affairs here.

Not surprised about higher up men having affairs though.

Reallybadidea · 13/10/2019 11:22

I knew you were going to say NHS. DH works in another industry and he thinks it's much less common there.

romany4 · 13/10/2019 11:22

I worked for a big supermarket when I was a teenager
Half the day staff were having affairs with the evening and night staff. It was quite a surprise to an innocent 16 year old!
I remember saying to my dad about it and he was very nonchalant and said his work place was rife with affairs too