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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask this man to stop sitting on my garden wall?

248 replies

SierraHotelIndiaTangoHappens · 01/10/2019 10:57

I genuinely don't know whether I am being unreasonable or not. Nearly every day a man has taken to sitting directly on my garden wall whilst he seemingly waits for someone to pick him up.

He did it this morning again, I banged on the window, but he didn't even flinch! Only got up when I was taking my son outside to put him in his taxi with escort to school.

Should I tell him off next time he does it? Or just leave him be? I feel really weird about it (but I do have anxiety disorder so it might just be me)

OP posts:
Sleepyhead19 · 01/10/2019 10:59

I wouldn’t like it either to be honest. I don’t know what to suggest though.

Original poster
SierraHotelIndiaTangoHappens · 01/10/2019 11:00

I will admit I banged on the window then hid. But I didn't see him move at all (mainly cause I am shit at hiding)

OP posts:
slipperywhensparticus · 01/10/2019 11:01

Stick seashells on the wall? Upside down for best effect

NoSauce · 01/10/2019 11:02

How long is he sat there?

Aquamarine1029 · 01/10/2019 11:02

Put grease or honey on the wall. He won't sit there again.

FrogOfFrogHall · 01/10/2019 11:02

Personally, I would leave him be. He's not doing any harm

ladyshapes82 · 01/10/2019 11:02

YANBU. I would hate this. So rude!

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 01/10/2019 11:03

Just ask him not to sit there. I've done it a few times as our wall isn't the most stable and people have always been fine.

He's probably engrossed in his phone/half asleep/didn't think the knock was aimed at him

Ridusofyourstupidity · 01/10/2019 11:03

Personally this wouldn’t bother me but my house is directly on the pavement so I regularly have people looking in my window at my cats so my tolerance for things like that is high! Sitting on a wall would be fine.

unamullian · 01/10/2019 11:03

Don't really see why that's a problem to be honest? He isn't causing a problem

Sexnotgender · 01/10/2019 11:04

There’s an elderly man who sits on my wall most days, I think it’s a convenient seat on his way up the road. Doesn’t bother me.

EskewedBeef · 01/10/2019 11:04

Confrontation over something so inconsequential would make my mood much worse than letting someone park their arse on my property for a few minutes.

Gruntvsgunt · 01/10/2019 11:05

Leave him to it

Seasword · 01/10/2019 11:05

My dad used to sit on garden walls when he went out for a walk. He couldn’t get very far without a rest.
Loads of people loved to come out and chat to him. A couple even brought him tea and cake.
He did this until he was 93.

Andysbestadventure · 01/10/2019 11:05

"That wall isn't safe or meant for sitting on. Please get off it before it collapses and I send you the bill"

FiddlesticksAkimbo · 01/10/2019 11:06

YABU

HappyBumbleBee · 01/10/2019 11:07

He's obviously waiting to be picked up for work or college and he's not hurting your wall or sitting there looking in to your home is he - don't see the harm myself tbh

BarbariansMum · 01/10/2019 11:07

How unkind to deny a fellow human being a couple of minutes rest. It's a garden wall, not your sofa.

MyKingdomForBrie · 01/10/2019 11:08

I can't think why it matters? Feel a bit bad now as I let my dd balance along little low garden walls as long as they look solid and there's no plants etc she might tread on.. I wouldn't mind this in the slightest (in fact people do it on my wall!) as I can't see it harms?

AnotherMonickerChange · 01/10/2019 11:08

I hate this too, but I think it's a bit much to insist someone doesn't do it. Only based on how others have reacted to me having this same issue with it in the past. Doesn't mean it wouldn't boil my piss though. We get people's kids coning right up to our windows, ground floor flat and the space between us and the pavement isn't fenced off, kids sometimes come onto the strip of garden which has done plants and bushes on it. Wish they wouldn't.

Whattodoabout · 01/10/2019 11:09

I don’t think it really matters. It’s a wall, not your bed. I imagine cats sit on it sometimes or birds, I don’t see how a human being is any different. He’s not harming you, I’d leave him to it.

LifeSpectator · 01/10/2019 11:11

I have a relative with advanced copd, who under doctors orders has to walk for 20 mins a day without their oxygen, the doctor told them if you need a break just sit on a wall so they have a route planned that has low walls for sitting on, otherwise they have to lean against a wall/poll etc catching breath for 10 mins- they usually fake a call for this. Sometimes walk is too much and we have to collect them, really if man not harming anytthing whats the problem?

SuchAToDo · 01/10/2019 11:12

Is he damaging the wall?...I know you don't want him sitting there and
you probably don't want the confrontation of having to ask him to sit there

If it's mere minutes he is there then it may be easier to just ignore it...I know it's your wall and you shouldn't have to ignore it...but maybe he has a reason for needing to sit, like previous posters have said...it doesn't sound like he is causing any harm

Teddybear45 · 01/10/2019 11:12

You could paint the top with the ink you get to deter burglars and put up a warning somewhere.

TheRobinIsBobbingAlong · 01/10/2019 11:14

I have a bus stop right outside my house and people would regularly sit on my garden wall, which used to annoy me, as it was an old wall. I tried growing prickly bushes next to it, but because of some other trees they didn't grow properly. Eventually the wall collapsed though fortunately it didn't hurt anyone. We've had a new wall built, double thickness this time for extra strength, and have had it raised a few levels so that it's not at bum height. The occasional person still tries to jump up and sit on it. If I'm going in or out and catch anyone sitting on it I do ask them to get off. My new wall cost a fortune, and I don't want it being weakened again by people using it as a seat, so based on my experience I think YANBU OP.

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