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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask this man to stop sitting on my garden wall?

248 replies

SierraHotelIndiaTangoHappens · 01/10/2019 10:57

I genuinely don't know whether I am being unreasonable or not. Nearly every day a man has taken to sitting directly on my garden wall whilst he seemingly waits for someone to pick him up.

He did it this morning again, I banged on the window, but he didn't even flinch! Only got up when I was taking my son outside to put him in his taxi with escort to school.

Should I tell him off next time he does it? Or just leave him be? I feel really weird about it (but I do have anxiety disorder so it might just be me)

OP posts:
avocadoincident · 01/10/2019 11:14

It would slightly get on my nerves but then I'd have a little chat with myself and say "oh well, no harm done". I think you'd make yourself look like a bit of a prick if you said anything....unless he's causing damage or littering

SilverChime · 01/10/2019 11:15

Anti climb paint 👍

AutumnRose1 · 01/10/2019 11:15

What's the legal position?

Wouldn't bother me, just wondered as I've only ever lived in a flat.

Andysbestadventure · 01/10/2019 11:17

@AutumnRose1 the legal position is that it's someone else's property and their boundary wall. Not a fucking seat.

Zaphodsotherhead · 01/10/2019 11:19

You can borrow my terrier. She will dash out, snarling frantically, and I guarantee that bloke's bum will be off your wall within seconds. And she can keep it up all day. Sigh.

BrassTactical · 01/10/2019 11:21

Does this really matter? I’d just let him.

AmIThough · 01/10/2019 11:21

I think it's more the lingering outside your house that's annoying. I hate when people linger outside but we had wrought iron fencing put on the wall so people can't sit there anymore.

Ohbuggerlugs · 01/10/2019 11:22

Put a camping chair out there for him... with a cup of tea and biscuits and a sign “DO NOT FUCKING SIT ON THIS WALL”!

It would piss me off too, but I probably would do the above. Or, go out and just say “are you ok?” With a confused look on your face, and he will probably feel very uncomfortable and won’t sit there again unless he has utter CF-ery!

mumsiedarlingrevolta · 01/10/2019 11:22

This would bother me as my wall is old and has crumbled on the side-due to DD and DD BFF next door climbing over it so I would ask very nicely that he not sit there because it is not sturdy.

Bellringer · 01/10/2019 11:22

Sitting on it is fine by me but I ask them to move because they smoke, drink, eat and leave rubbish, or talk on mobile phone, listen to music and be a bloody pain

LongtimeLurker29 · 01/10/2019 11:23

People have sat on my wall and as a result the pillars are now wobbly and are going to have to be replaced at some point. We have put burglar paint on the tops to stop people sitting on it. If you don't have that you could out some vaseline on it. That's not easily washed off by the rain

abigailsnan · 01/10/2019 11:23

Is the wall very close to your window,can he see in your lounge if not I would not worry about it if he is only there for a few minutes there are worse things to worry about in this world.

nettie434 · 01/10/2019 11:24

So much depends on who this man is. If, as another poster suggested, he is someone with breathing or mobility problems then it is a bit harsh to complain. Even if he isn’t, I think I would try to ignore it.

Rachelover60 · 01/10/2019 11:24

I suppose it could be annoying but I wouldn't say anything. My front garden wall is at the end of the drive so a fair distance from the house & windows but years ago I used to see an elderly 'Indian' lady who went out for walks every day and would pause and sit on the wall for a little while. It didn't bother me in the least, in fact it touched me in a way (dunno why). It would bother me if loads of people congregated out there on a regular basis but that doesn't happen.

Crinkle77 · 01/10/2019 11:24

Well he's clearly waiting for a lift. He's not going to rob you. Like another poster said if the wall was weak then fair enough but seriously what is the problem? How long is he sitting there? 5 or 10 minutes out of the day?

SoundofSilence · 01/10/2019 11:27

Whether it bothered me would probably depend on how close they were to the house. If it's a long way away it wouldn't bother me provided they weren't doing any damage. If it was really close, it would make me feel uncomfortable for privacy reasons. Not really logical, I admit.

If it really bothers you, I'd install a railing on top of the wall rather than bang on the windows.

FunOnTheBeach20 · 01/10/2019 11:28

I had this at my old house. It was on the corner of two streets so was a meeting point.

My DH felt like you. I frankly couldn’t have cared less and if someone is stood for 5-10mins I can appreciate they feel more comfortable sitting. The wall was made of brick and wasn’t going to experience any wear and tear so cost me nothing.

The only time I did object is when trying to get into my own house and a group of people who weren’t keen on my dog asked me to keep my dog away. I curtly told them they were blocking my own front door - I wasn’t trying to intimidate them with my small dog...

DoctorAllcome · 01/10/2019 11:28

YABU
Opposite of being a good neighbor. I have a bus stop almost directly in front and kids & elderly are always sitting on my wall or on the sidewalk leaning against it. Occasionally they’ll throw trash over the wall into my yard but not often enough to upset me.

It’s the adult dog walkers who toss their dog poo in my front yard that upset me.

OddBoots · 01/10/2019 11:30

Is this a practical problem because the wall is weak or damaged or just because you don't like it?

ElizaDee · 01/10/2019 11:30
AutumnRose1 · 01/10/2019 11:31

"the legal position is that it's someone else's property and their boundary wall"

Well in that case, OP could tell him to stop.

Not advocating that btw, just wondered.

FrancisCrawford · 01/10/2019 11:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Genevieva · 01/10/2019 11:33

buy a few metres of barbed wire and fix it to the top of the wall?

WonderWomansSpin · 01/10/2019 11:33

Occasionally they’ll throw trash over the wall into my yard but not often enough to upset me
Yy we have this too. It doesn't overly bother me. I just bin it. I think it's one of the things you consider when you buy or move into a house with road frontage.

Bluntness100 · 01/10/2019 11:33

I can't understand why people get upset about this small stuff. He's doing no harm from what you've said, he's only there a few mins. What difference does it make?