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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask this man to stop sitting on my garden wall?

248 replies

SierraHotelIndiaTangoHappens · 01/10/2019 10:57

I genuinely don't know whether I am being unreasonable or not. Nearly every day a man has taken to sitting directly on my garden wall whilst he seemingly waits for someone to pick him up.

He did it this morning again, I banged on the window, but he didn't even flinch! Only got up when I was taking my son outside to put him in his taxi with escort to school.

Should I tell him off next time he does it? Or just leave him be? I feel really weird about it (but I do have anxiety disorder so it might just be me)

OP posts:
Original poster
SierraHotelIndiaTangoHappens · 01/10/2019 11:33

Okay it seems IABU.
Thanks guys

OP posts:
Kanga83 · 01/10/2019 11:35

I don't think YABU. Personally, I would stick a private property sign or put a small spiky fence (like the ornate ones you can get). Or grease.

Butteflyone1 · 01/10/2019 11:36

Yep I'm another for YABU. What harm is he actually doing? Is he littering? Is he being noisy? Or is he minding his own business just waiting for a lift?

Jeezoh · 01/10/2019 11:37

I would feel the same as you and in fact when we were redoing our front garden, we replaced the wall with a fence to stop people sitting on it. It’s not the sitting on it as such that bothered me as much as the fag butts etc that were left behind.

JacquesHammer · 01/10/2019 11:37

Unless you have concerns about the safety/strength of the wall YABU.

Doesn’t do any harm.

virginpinkmartini · 01/10/2019 11:38

I would put honey mixed with fart spray liquid all over the wall 😂

ShirleyPhallus · 01/10/2019 11:39

Some very weirdly aggressive posts on this thread

Sending him a bill for the damage of a rickety old wall?! Oh come on!

Seren10 · 01/10/2019 11:39

"That wall isn't safe or meant for sitting on. Please get off it before it collapses and I send you the bill

Wow, charming!

What harm is he doing?

Leave him be, find something else to worry about.

Lindy2 · 01/10/2019 11:41

View it as you helping someone out. He waits for his lift a bit more comfortable than if he had to stand.

Your wall is fine. You are fine.

It's called kindness.
There should be more of it.

TheOrigBrave · 01/10/2019 11:41

Yikes, I sit on a wall which happens to be at a spot where people often get picked up. It never occurred to me that it would bother someone - I mean it's just my bottom touching some bricks.

ExcusezMonFrancais · 01/10/2019 11:42

This would bother me OP. Can you put something on top of your wall like an iron feature or a trellis? Or perhaps plant prickly shrubs behind the wall like pyracantha or a lovely thorny rose?

To ask this man to stop sitting on my garden wall?
To ask this man to stop sitting on my garden wall?
LionelRitchieStoleMyNotebook · 01/10/2019 11:42

My parents used to live near a bus stop that school children used (about ten houses along so not right next to it but closer houses had hedges or fences), the children used to sit on the wall and my parents ignored it, until the wall started crumbling and eventually part of it collapsed with 3 teenagers sitting on it!

Boysey45 · 01/10/2019 11:44

It would depend on the state of my wall. If it was structurally sound then I wouldn't be bothered.If it was wobbly in places and dodgy then I would ask him not to sit on it.

RavenLG · 01/10/2019 11:44

We used to get screamed at by the neighbour when we we're kids if we even dared to stand near her wall. Always hated her, still do.
Now as a homeowner I can understand why it would be weird, but it seems so trivial to get worked up over. I've got better things to put my energy into tbh.

NoSauce · 01/10/2019 11:45

How long are we talking? 2 minutes? 15 minutes? Is he looking in at you, leaving rubbish?

Or just sat waiting for his lift. I couldn’t get het up about this personally.

StinkyBumFace · 01/10/2019 11:46

I think I wouldn't like it but I wouldn't tell him off. I would leave a cup of tea in a flask, couple of sugars and a biscuit on the wall, with a note;
"To the man who sits on my wall,
Here is a cuppa and a biscuit for you while you wait for your lift! Feel free to lean, if you really must, but please don't sit on my wall - can't explain why, but it makes me feel uneasy!
Have a nice day,
From
Weird Wall Owner :)
P.S. please return the cup/flask!"

🤷🏻‍♀️

Kaddm · 01/10/2019 11:50

No idea why people are equating this situation to someone with a health condition needing a rest or a sit down. In that scenerio, a person would take a rest and that would be it. However, in this scenerio it's EVERY DAY! Same man, same wall. He's using it as his personal waiting seat, which over time, if the wall is not strong, will damage it and then the OP will have to pay for it to be rebuilt. And since it's 2019, the man will probably sue the OP for his injuries.

Funghi · 01/10/2019 11:50

It makes zero difference to your life. Turn your back and it’s no longer a concern.

MotherOfDragonite · 01/10/2019 11:52

If you don't want people sitting on your garden wall, do something to make it the kind you can't sit on.

Personally it wouldn't bother me in the least but we are all different.

TheNoodlesIncident · 01/10/2019 11:52

This wouldn't bother me. Damage would, litter would, chalking rude remarks on it would, but not someone perched on a wall if it's structurally sound.

People using my garden as a toilet - now that I objected to.

See OP, could be worse couldn't it..?

Lunafortheloveogod · 01/10/2019 11:52

If it bothers you shove some planters along it or something to make it unsittable.. without being antisocial if he’s on his way to work climb paint on what could be his only pair of work trousers would be a pain in the arse.. plus the risk that your own dc’s or their friends get it on them.

I lived in a lovely house but during the football season and after the pub two down poured out people would sit on the walls on either side of my drive.. not just at the bottom on the street. Literally 2foot off my bedroom window on both sides.. nice colourful planters that hooked onto the wall stopped most of them.

MrsEricBana · 01/10/2019 11:54

Agree yabu unless he's actually damaging the wall, leaving litter, staring in etc

lovemenorca · 01/10/2019 11:54

"To the man who sits on my wall,
Here is a cuppa and a biscuit for you while you wait for your lift! Feel free to lean, if you really must, but please don't sit on my wall - can't explain why, but it makes me feel uneasy!
Have a nice day,
From
Weird Wall Owner smile
P.S. please return the cup/flask!"

Oh good heavens this is a weird suggestion.

Depends how long there - but really wouldn’t bother me. He’s doing no harm at all. Channel that energy in to something else.

Icantthinkofanewname87 · 01/10/2019 11:55

I wouldn’t care and I think you’re being a bit unreasonable. If you say something you risk causing a conflict because to be honest you are being a little bit petty. And would you prefer a man harmlessly sitting on your wall sometimes or having an argument/conflict with a man who knows where you live? I say that as I suffer from bad anxiety too and I know that having had an argument with someone outside my house would really frighten and upset me and everything would be all round worse.

Beautiful3 · 01/10/2019 11:56

What harm is he doing? I think you're being unreasonable. Unless he is littering then that's a different matter.

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