To think this isn't a 'lazy day'?

[jamoncrumpet]

'Let's have a lazy day', says DH, 'We've had such a busy week'.

DH's Lazy Day:
Drinking beer
Watching cricket
Doing the crossword in his cricket magazine
Reading a book
Half blowing up a paddling pool

My Lazy Day:
Finishing blowing up the paddling pool
Going out to get lunch
Preparing lunch for DH and DCs
Cleaning out the chicken coop
Doing two loads of laundry
Cleaning up lunch things and loading dishwasher
Supervising DCs in paddling pool while DH watches cricket

AIBU to tell DH that his concept of a family 'lazy day' is actually just him getting to be a lazy bastard all day long while I carry on as usual?

Definitely.

But you could have made him finish blowing up the paddling pool.

And I always make DH come and fold the laundry when it comes out of the machine.

Yes, sounds familiar-I alway find it more relaxing to go out.

Tell him,. Why couldn't he do his own, and the kids lunch?

He can't drive @goose1964 - his excuse for EVERYTHING

Why did you do so much? Are the DC old enough to help prep lunch and do clean up after? Have you told DH he’s sorting dinner?

DCs are not old or neurotypical enough to help, unfortunately

Do shopping online. Hide the cricket magazines. (There are cricket magazines?!!!)

You need to delegate so he gets into the habit of knowing how not to be a lazy bastard. Next time you shop and cook, he clears up. He can blow up a pool in front of the tv. You put washing in, he hangs it up. Stop being so accommodating.

AIBU to tell DH that his concept of a family 'lazy day' is actually just him getting to be a lazy bastard all day long while I carry on as usual?

Why are you such a martyr??
Why can’t you speak to your husband and tell him that he has to do his share?

Why did you let him only blow up half the paddling pool. Come on! Stand up for yourself st the time.
Why didn't you say something earlier and get him to make lunch?

Sound like lazy day to me for both of you.n

Ok, now say 'It's really been your lazy day today because I've done (list from above), so tomorrow it's your turn to do that stuff and I'll have my lazy day then'. And stick to that. Never mind the not driving, he'll have to figure out a way round it.

He doesn’t need to drive to do washing. He doesn’t need to drive to make lunch. He doesn’t need to drive to do paddling pool.
Take tomorrow off and say meals and child entertainment are on him.

You think I'm being lazy @Azeema?!

Stop martyring yourself. He is a selfish dickhead but nothing will change if you keep all the plates spinning so he can be idle.

Why did you do all that on a lazy day?

Dh has the right idea about a lazy day. You dont. Thats your problem

We have lazy days. Today’s been one. It involved my DSC and DH watching crap films in their pjs while I played with the baby in bed and read while she napped. DH made breakfast (brought mine up to bed), the kids cleared up, lunch was cold stuff from the fridge, DH took the DSC back and I tidied up a bit around the baby, he’s now settling her and I’m on MN, we’ve got a film on in the background. I’m still in pants and a t shirt as it’s boiling here, we’ve both had chunks of downtime, eaten well, the place isn’t spotless but it’s fine, kids had fun after being out all of yesterday, baby is clean, fed and chilling. Mutual relaxing, mutual appreciation, kids pitched in where they could, all good.

But why did you do housework if you wanted a lazy day?

I don’t know. Your DH shouldn’t have shirked the rest of the pool, but lazy day or not, I wouldn’t consider doing a couple of loads of washing as a big deal. Only when I’m literally strolling the house and doing a week’s worth of laundry would I consider it a proper chore TBF. Everyone’s got to eat. He needs to do dinner though, otherwise yes still quite relaxed (it sounds) for you, but like a spa day for your DH. Assuming he watched the kids while you went to the shop, I would have stopped for a coffee or something if I felt like I was being treated like crap. We’ve had a lazy day today. DH made breakfast, I cleared out a big cupboard, I made lunch, he walked the dog, I set up kids water table and got them going, brought in and folded/put away some washing that had been darked on but still.... still feel it’s been lazy. Nothing planned, nowhere to be, we’ve all got to eat so that’s always a thing. For dinner DH is going to do a salad and heat through a Mac n cheese that I made the other week - so that feels like equal effort.

*stripping the house, not strolling!

Other than cleaning out the chicken coop- yes, that’s a lazy day. Unless of course you had to drag the washing down to the river and actually wash it by hand!

Whose are the chickens Yours? His? Joint decision?

Blowing up a paddling pool and watching the kids while they played in it is hardly hard labour.

However if you feel he’s taking the piss - get him told and tell him what you want him to do, no point in seething

So tomorrow announce it's your turn for a lazy day, and he's doing lunch, child supervising and putting away the laundry you washed today?

Supervising an autistic kid and a baby in a paddling pool is more intense than you might imagine

Don't understand why you couldn't actually have said to DH to do some things you've done then?

Cleaning the chicken coops wasn't great, but the rest sounds ok for a lazy day. Is there nothing you could have had in the fridge to save you having to go out?

Oh and half a paddling pool isn't lazy or not lazy but it is quite funny. Did your DH just wander off?