To think this isn't a 'lazy day'?

[jamoncrumpet]

'Let's have a lazy day', says DH, 'We've had such a busy week'.

DH's Lazy Day:
Drinking beer
Watching cricket
Doing the crossword in his cricket magazine
Reading a book
Half blowing up a paddling pool

My Lazy Day:
Finishing blowing up the paddling pool
Going out to get lunch
Preparing lunch for DH and DCs
Cleaning out the chicken coop
Doing two loads of laundry
Cleaning up lunch things and loading dishwasher
Supervising DCs in paddling pool while DH watches cricket

AIBU to tell DH that his concept of a family 'lazy day' is actually just him getting to be a lazy bastard all day long while I carry on as usual?

He could have had a lazy day while watching one of the DC. Watching tv with a baby to supervise isn’t the same as watching it without a baby but when you have kids that’s how it works. You do laundry, he watches the baby. You sort lunch, he watches both your DC. It’s a choice to do everything while he does nothing OP. Give him the baby and walk away.

If I was trying to have a lazy day I’d actually be mildly irritated by someone fussing around me doing laundry and pulling martyr faces at me while they did chores I felt could wait.

He suggested a lazy day. You decided not to have one. If the laundry and the chicken coop absolutely couldn’t wait, when he suggested ‘a lazy day’ you should have said no.

You have just described my idea of a lazy day OP. Some days we will have a lazy day and I will potter round the house, play with the kids and make lunch. That is a lazy day

Apart from supervising and feeding the kids, couldn't the other chores have waited if you really wanted a lazy day? If not, why wouldn't you point out to your DH that for you to enjoy a semi lazy day would mean him doing his fair share of the necessities instead of you going ahead and doing everything and then being left full of resentment. Honestly I do think women are their own worst enemies sometimes

Why it it the OPs fault that she either didn’t delegate or tell her DH to do it, or shouldn’t have done it herself or is a martyr or enabling him. How many ways can a woman be blamed?

Millions of ways if they are actually to blame

If she doesn't delegate for herself then no-one's going to delegate for her.

If she doesn't speak up for herself, then no-one's going to speak up for her.

If she doesn't want to do something herself then she needs to insist she's not going to.

Only she can enable him.

Only she can be a martyr to herself.

He's to blame for his own laziness but the OP is in control of her own life.

Man is lazy git.

Everyone tells woman that it's her fault.

With a child who is autistic and one who is a baby, he should he aware that there is no such thing as a lazy day for BOTH parents simultaneously. Someone has to be on deck at all times. If he isn't, he must be aware that you are. So tomorrow, he is and you aren't.

Don't do it then.
Ask him when you get a lazy day?

More fool you OP.

I agree with others that except for the cleaning the chicken coop that sounds like a lazy day for me. Potter, some chores here and there, play with kids. I'd have bought something really easy for lunch like a pizza or something. DP can vegetate all day on a lazy day but I get twitchy.

Echoing other replies, it sounds like you didn't have a lazy day through your own choice. Make lunch out of whatever you've got at home, or phone a dominos even! Leave all chores till tomorrow and sit down. Your husband done a lazy day right, you didn't.

Your doing lazy days wrong.Our (rare) ones consist of me and dh lounging around watching tv/online browsing and ds 5 lounging around watching Netflix/playing then us ordering takeaway,.Standing up only for toilet or drinks

I don't know why you didn't make him finish the paddling pool and supervise the DC. And why didn't he clear up the lunch stuff?
Did the chicken coop have to be done today? Did you have to do 2 loads of washing?

What would you rather have done?

Sympathies, jamon, you’re getting a bit of a hard time. What would he say if you’d asked him to help?

You sound like a martyr. Why didn’t you say “I bought and prepped lunch, you can clear up”? Or tell him you’ll watch the kids in the pool once he’s blown it up? If you’ve silently seethed then moaned on here, I don’t think you’ll get much sympathy. You can only be treated as a dogsbody if you enable someone to get away with opting out of stuff.

Man is lazy git.
Everyone tells woman that it's her fault.

This has nothing to do with being a man/woman. The sexes could be reversed or it could be a same sex couple - the problem would be the same. One partner is a lazy git - the other partner decides to be with and have children with the lazy git and then complains about them being a lazy git. Similarly, one partner says ‘shall we have a lazy day?’ - the other partner apparently agrees to have a lazy day but then does lots of chores instead and complains. The person who keeps complaining here has created these situations for themselves. There are plenty of lazy and ignorant gits out there, but for some reason there’s also a lot of mugs prepared to live and have families with them and that never ceases to baffle me.

I refuse to believe your husband didn’t know things needed to be done, he just abdicated responsibility for them. I’m sorry he’s such a dick, an adult shouldn’t have to be nudged into helping out with family life.

Can you have his version of a lazy day tomorrow?

And unless he has a decent reason why not, can the lazy twat learn to drive?

Exactly Pink. You can only be a doormat if you lie down and allow people to wipe their feet.

Pinkblueberry I am talking about the OP and her DH in particular (and a lot of the replies), not woman/mankind in general.

Doh.

Your day would be a lazy day for us.

Us In the plural?

That sounds like a perfect and pretty lazy day to me!

He ran out of puff blowing up a paddling pool? Who owns a paddling pool and doesn't get a pump (plugged in or foot)!!!

Two loads of washing, so chucked in the machine then hung up with probably at least an hour on each cycle. Presumably they needed done today or you chose to do them instead of leaving them til tomorrow. I've had a relatively lazy day today due to DD being ill, I've put on the dishwasher and a washing. They are hardly big jobs.

Why did you do all the supervising? Surely if you have kids together you declare "it's your turn, I'm doing xyz just now"? But then I also voice when I want DH to do something like clear up the dishes since I made the food.

Man is lazy git.
Woman says absolutely nothing to man about it.
Man continues to be lazy git.
Woman does all the work then moans about it on MN.
MN says LTB.

I'd go out for the day tomorrow, alone. Leave a note perhaps, tell him you're having a lazy day.