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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think no couple goes to bed at the same time?

462 replies

themimi · 04/08/2019 22:23

Watching a programme tonight with DH and saw another example of a couple lying in bed at night having a conversation after clearly retiring at the same time. Mentioned to DH that we never ever go to bed at the same time (I'm an early to bed early to rise person and he's the opposite). DH said that no couple does - it's just a plot device to facilitate dialogue. I think I agree and couples who go to bed at same time don't exist. Anyone out there (past honeymoon stage) who does?

OP posts:
fedup21 · 04/08/2019 22:25

My parents pretty much always go to bed at the same time, or if not exactly, within half an hour or so.

We don’t!

mynameisMrG · 04/08/2019 22:25

We do. My DH is an early to bed and I am usually awake until the small hours, but we go to bed at the same time. I like to watch tv and he goes to sleep. Been married five years

Chopchip · 04/08/2019 22:25

I generally go to bed at the same time as DH. The only time we don’t is if one of us feels unwell.

WendyImHome · 04/08/2019 22:25

Yes we do. We go up together chat and read in bed. He falls asleep first (like now) I stare at mumsnet on my phone!

CazM2012 · 04/08/2019 22:25

Yes every night (except for when he did a night shift one week a month for about 2 years) for the 12 years of our relationship

MustBeAWeasly · 04/08/2019 22:25

Married 5 years and other than the couple times a month he starts work at 1am we both go to bed together every night. Always have done and I don't see it changing any time soon.

wheresmyliveship · 04/08/2019 22:25

We always do. Very rare if I’m very sleepy and DH will stay up to watch something for another 30 mins, but our norm is definitely getting to bed at the same time and having a chat while reading

Alloftit · 04/08/2019 22:26

If we’re both at home, we do!

Byebyefriend · 04/08/2019 22:26

We're 5 years past honeymoon and still go to bed at the same time. Neither of us sleep well without the other there. Sometimes I get up again later if I can't sleep

AnyFucker · 04/08/2019 22:26

Nah

Fruityb · 04/08/2019 22:26

I go to bed before my husband most of the time. He comes up not long after usually though sometimes he falls asleep downstairs and comes up really late! We go up and chat together very occasionally. I always joke I turn into a pumpkin after ten! I just like to come to bed, read, faff on my phone and listen to a podcast while I’m enjoying the quiet. He usually watches the news then comes up.

I’m always tired at this time - it’s just the way I’m made up!

simplekindoflife · 04/08/2019 22:26

15 years together and two dc, and we go to bed at the same time 90% of the time!

It's nice getting in bed together for a chat and a cuddle.

newmumwithquestions · 04/08/2019 22:26

Yes we usually do. Don’t usually talk much though - we’re both shattered!

I think it’s strange that you wouldn’t go to bed at the same time (but maybe I’m in the minority).

StylishMummy · 04/08/2019 22:26

We always go to bed together unless one is ill

PlanBea · 04/08/2019 22:26

Yes, every night. I didn't think it would be unusual!

123tweet · 04/08/2019 22:26

We do, I'd think it was odd not to as it's what we've always done. One of us might read, or we chat, or I phaff on my phone, but we always go to bed at the same time. Together nearly 29 years

Dinosauraddict · 04/08/2019 22:27

It's very rare that we don't go to bed at the same time (usually if one of us is unwell or is out particularly late). We've been together a decade and I would find it saddening to not go to bed with him every night.

Fruityb · 04/08/2019 22:27

Oh and we’ve been together 9 years, lived together for 8 and married for 2

Original poster
themimi · 04/08/2019 22:27

Blimey - clearly we are the odd ones. Unless on holiday sans DCs, I don't think we've ever gone to bed at the same time Confused

OP posts:
FieryBiscuits14 · 04/08/2019 22:27

Yep same time every night.

couchparsnip · 04/08/2019 22:28

My parents do. They do the Times or Telegraph crossword in bed together before they go to sleep.
Me and Dh on the other hand never go to bed at the same time. I'm the early one and he turns in around 12.

Sunshine1235 · 04/08/2019 22:28

Yes married 7 years and we always go to bed at the same time, read and chat a bit then go to sleep around the same time. It actually helps me as naturally I would stay up way too late and then be exhausted the next day (case in point I’m on my phone now because DH is dealing with a restless child) but DH is very sensible with his bedtime

ps1991 · 04/08/2019 22:28

We’ve been together 4 years and don’t. I did used to like it, but now I hate it if my husband comes to bed at the same time as me. It makes me really anxious and I end up nattering to him which annoys him as he needs one to unwind 😩😂🙄

Bokky · 04/08/2019 22:28

We do and always have done. I can probably count on one hand the number of times we haven't in 13 years together.

Sweeptheleg · 04/08/2019 22:28

Go to bed at same time, would feel sad not to. I brought my ‘bed time’ earlier to match up when we first lived together. Used to be a nightowl and now I love going to be earlier and adore the very early morning! Go figure.