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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think no couple goes to bed at the same time?

462 replies

themimi · 04/08/2019 22:23

Watching a programme tonight with DH and saw another example of a couple lying in bed at night having a conversation after clearly retiring at the same time. Mentioned to DH that we never ever go to bed at the same time (I'm an early to bed early to rise person and he's the opposite). DH said that no couple does - it's just a plot device to facilitate dialogue. I think I agree and couples who go to bed at same time don't exist. Anyone out there (past honeymoon stage) who does?

OP posts:
UrsulaPandress · 04/08/2019 22:34

My friend and her DH do. They’re a bit vomit inducing really. Hell, we don’t even sleep in the same room. But he does bring me a brew every morning. So he can stay.

allthegins · 04/08/2019 22:35

We used to but during the week I like to go to bed to read for a bit and I need complete silence. I’m usually sleeping when he comes up.

Aposterhasnoname · 04/08/2019 22:35

DH and I go to bed together every night. Always have, always will. (20 years and counting) the

Lighthousemen · 04/08/2019 22:35

We have always went to bed together. 10 years together. we both compromise. I go later than I would like and he goes earlier.

AnneLovesGilbert · 04/08/2019 22:35

Huh? Course loads of people do.

What else does he think is a plot device and doesn’t happen in real life?

LizzieSiddal · 04/08/2019 22:36

Been married for 30 years and yes we do go to bed at the same time.

Youngandfree · 04/08/2019 22:36

14 years later and two dc, we go to bed at the same time still! Grin

Tellmetruth4 · 04/08/2019 22:36

99% of the time DH and I go to bed at the same time.

Feelingpoorlysick · 04/08/2019 22:36

We've been married nearly 6 years and have always gone to bed together. Its nice to have that time together. We both struggle to get to sleep without the other being there.

Sparklyring · 04/08/2019 22:37

We do, every night without fail.

Titsywoo · 04/08/2019 22:37

We always do. Even if DH is tired and I'm not or vice versa we pretty much always still go together. We chat while getting ready for bed then in bed while having a cuddle. Then DH goes to sleep and I read or sometimes watch TV. I love being in bed anyway Grin. I think we'd have sex less if we didn't go to bed together - might be wrong though!

TrumpInflatableChased · 04/08/2019 22:37

Mostly same time. He’s usually asleep first. Bit of chat sometimes.

rose789 · 04/08/2019 22:38

Every night unless one of us is on a night out

lozengeoflove · 04/08/2019 22:38

We don’t.
But my baby goes to bed the same time as I do Grin

Original poster
themimi · 04/08/2019 22:38

UrsulaPandress Thank you for being a kindred spirit

OP posts:
stubbyboardman · 04/08/2019 22:38

We do, have done for 24 years Grin

I don't even sleep in our bed if he's away, I sleep downstairs. I don't like our bed without him in it.

Runningonempty84 · 04/08/2019 22:39

God no. Never gone to bed at the same time as DH. Together 15 years, married 7. I go first and have some quiet reading time. Am stunned by how many people do, tbh. We can't be the only ones who like our own space!

Rivkka · 04/08/2019 22:40

We do every night and have done for the last twenty years. We have sex or chat or read etc. I like it.

Sarcelle · 04/08/2019 22:40

Yes, we both go up the wooden hill to Bedfordshire at the same time most nights.

PJMasksGhekko · 04/08/2019 22:40

@AnyFucker
Same Grin

honeylulu · 04/08/2019 22:40

I guess it depends partly on bedtime routine. We both like a bath before bed. I usually have mine first than get into bed while he has his. On Saturday I struggle to stay awake until he comes to bed so we can have sex. The rest of the time I'm usually asleep first (I'm also up first).

I suppose we used to go to bed at the same time in the early years and ttc times but I can hardly remember now (24 years and counting ...)

Pepperwand · 04/08/2019 22:40

It's our norm to go to bed at the same time, always has been and we've been together 8 years. At the moment we aren't as we have a newborn so one of us stays up for the first waking like a PP and then comes to bed. I hate it and can't wait to get back to going to bed together at the same time. I do think it's detrimental not having that time to just have a cuddle and a chat at the end of the day, plus if I'm asleep and get woken by DH coming to bed I get irrationality angry!

SlugsyMalone · 04/08/2019 22:40

Together 25 years, married 22 years, 3 teenage DC and we still go to bed at the same time every night (unless one of us is ill/ on a night out etc).

Titsywoo · 04/08/2019 22:41

Oh and we've been together 17 years

Cannyhandleit · 04/08/2019 22:41

We do 90% of the time!