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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think no couple goes to bed at the same time?

462 replies

themimi · 04/08/2019 22:23

Watching a programme tonight with DH and saw another example of a couple lying in bed at night having a conversation after clearly retiring at the same time. Mentioned to DH that we never ever go to bed at the same time (I'm an early to bed early to rise person and he's the opposite). DH said that no couple does - it's just a plot device to facilitate dialogue. I think I agree and couples who go to bed at same time don't exist. Anyone out there (past honeymoon stage) who does?

OP posts:
Pinkblanket · 07/08/2019 09:31

Yes, same time for 20 plus years.

WoogleCone · 07/08/2019 09:41

Every night for the last ten years! We go to sleep at the same time too!

gamerchick · 07/08/2019 09:46

Plus going to bed together means we have time to be alone together in bed. Why would that be controlling? Because we like going to bed together in a marriage. That’s quite a leap and a massive generalisation. You sound rather paranoid

No just a generalisation in response to a generalisation. You can't generalise because every marriage is different. As long as you're both happy.

I did chuckle at being called paranoid though, cheers man Grin

Skyejuly · 07/08/2019 09:50

We do!

Aus84 · 07/08/2019 09:56

Most nights we do. We do the nightly jobs together and get the kids to bed. We like to watch a movie, or I'll read while he channel surfs... or do other things... before going to sleep. We both wake up at the same time though so we are in sync at night. The exception would be if there's a footy game on (or cricket at the moment). Then he watches in another room and comes in a bit later.

Iminagony · 07/08/2019 10:06

We mostly do. Unless one of us (mostly me) falls asleep on the sofa and can't be bothered to move, or I have something I want to finish (like watching something dh doesn't likeWink).

MrsItsNoworNotatAll1 · 07/08/2019 10:30

Extremely rare we do. Late nights do nothing for me. I prefer to go to bed at a regular time and read. He will stay up late and watch TV. He's lucky he can get straight off to sleep, I wouldn't. I've tried but it doesn't happen for me and I'm tired and cranky the next day.

PuffsMummie · 07/08/2019 12:55

We dont but I wish we did, I'm a lark and he is an owl. I couldnt stay up as late as him if I tried, I usually go up (10ish) and he comes up a couple of hours later. He does however come and 'tuck me in' (not in a creepy way, just what we call it) and give me a kiss goodnight, then goes back downstairs to watch tv or generally potter around until he is ready to come to bed.

Gre8scott · 08/08/2019 09:43

We go to bed at the same yime but we never have sex its a problem in the realtionship that even going to bed at the same time cant fix!!!

nokidshere · 08/08/2019 16:04

It was a real sign to me that marriage was on knees when we stopped going to bed at same time

That should say "It was a real sign to me that "MY" marriage was on knees when we stopped going to bed at same time" shouldn't it?

We have been living together for 36yrs and married for 32. We have never gone to bed at the same time. For the past 15yrs we haven't even slept in the same room. Our marriage is rock solid and we are very happy, even more so since we accepted that the only objective of going to bed is to get a decent nights sleep even if that means sleeping apart. And yes, we have sex regularly.

LynseyLou1982 · 08/08/2019 16:36

We do. We go up and read for a bit. Sometimes he goes to sleep.first and I keep reading sometimes not. Been together 5 years.

Toothproblems · 08/08/2019 16:38

Together 11 years and 4 kids. Still go to bed the same time and sleep the same time unless someone goes to the loo or something...why is that unusual?

Sallyseagull · 08/08/2019 16:38

We almost always do. Sometimes one of us will stay downstairs finishing off a programme whilst the other will have a shower then bed but we basically get in bed at the same time each night.

MummyOfTwo92 · 08/08/2019 16:48

Me and DP go to bed at the same time together every night and have done for almost 5 years.

Notsure1978 · 08/08/2019 17:02

Yep, every night. I get tired a lot earlier and generally fall asleep on the sofa but DH will give me a nudge and suggest we go to bed 😂 then I can cuddle up to him and sleep while he watches Telly.

ChodeMcwinkle · 08/08/2019 17:03

Rarely. He wakes me up when he comes up later and I wake him up in the morning when I get up!

ChodeMcwinkle · 08/08/2019 17:04

We also eat different dinners sometimes which is quite weird I think.

FilthyforFirth · 08/08/2019 17:07

Half the week I would say we do. It would be everyday but I love going to bed early so feel bad dragging him up at 9 or sometimes before...! But I would find it odd if we never did. Together 6 years married 3.

Banjodancer · 08/08/2019 17:20

I would hate someone in bed with me watching tv while I tried to sleep - even with headphones.

Arrowfanatic · 08/08/2019 17:45

We've been together 14 years and every night when we're both at home we both go at the same time. Hes a shift worker who does a mix of earlies, lates & nights so i grt my time in bed alone as well.

We typically lock up downstairs, say goodnight to the cats. One of us will go brush teeth etc whilst the other checks on the kids (eldest is 10 but we still check every night) and then into bed. We'll read or have sex. Then usually he dozes off first, but i sleep terribly so I'll read another hour or so and then sleep. He usually wakes before me (assuming he's not up for his shift or I'm up for school/weekend clubs).

I just hate the idea of sitting downstairs whilst he's above me in bed or vice versa.

Grumpasaurus · 08/08/2019 17:49

Generally we do, yes. Chat about nonsense, watch YouTube, stare at our phones in the space general space.... you know, the real marriage building stuff!!!

Laura221 · 08/08/2019 17:50

Every night for almost 12 years. Unless Ill. We chit chat and fall asleep.

SugarNyx · 08/08/2019 17:52

We do, it’s my fave time of day. We talk and cuddle and fall asleep together.

cookiemonster3 · 08/08/2019 17:52

We always do unless one of us is ill or dh has an early start the following morning or is working late.

CrisisCrunchie · 08/08/2019 17:54

My DH & I almost always do (only time we don’t is if one of us isn’t feeling well & goes to bed really early) .. we have been married 17.5 years and together for 20 years..