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Original poster

To think no couple goes to bed at the same time?

462 replies

themimi · 04/08/2019 22:23

Watching a programme tonight with DH and saw another example of a couple lying in bed at night having a conversation after clearly retiring at the same time. Mentioned to DH that we never ever go to bed at the same time (I'm an early to bed early to rise person and he's the opposite). DH said that no couple does - it's just a plot device to facilitate dialogue. I think I agree and couples who go to bed at same time don't exist. Anyone out there (past honeymoon stage) who does?

OP posts:
PaintingOwls · 04/08/2019 23:06

Well yes, but mostly because if one goes to bed later then the other person is disturbed?

barfotoliv · 04/08/2019 23:07

Yes, almost always. Occasionally if one of is feeling particularly tired they might go down earlier, but it's rare. Married 7 years.

U2HasTheEdge · 04/08/2019 23:07

We do.

We don't sleep in the same room but we do go to bed at the same time, except for once a fortnight when I have to be up really early and he is still out by the time I go to bed. We chat for a while in bed then he goes to his room.

We have been together for 13 years.

Parky04 · 04/08/2019 23:07

23 years married and never go to bed at the same time. DW goes to sleep at 22.00! I go to bed around 00.00.

BobTheFishermansWife · 04/08/2019 23:07

We've always gone to bed together, (been together 6 years) unless one of us is out. However, since I had our ds almost 4 weeks ago I come to bed earlier, I give him (our son not dp) his last feed at 10.30 and put him down to sleep then go to bed myself and faff on my phone/read. DP will be coming upto bed in about half hour or so, I may be alseep, I may be awake, we will see.

StormcloakNord · 04/08/2019 23:08

Always the same time, couldn't ever imagine coming to bed without DH. Dunno why, it's just always been like that.

Yodude · 04/08/2019 23:08

We always go to bed at the same time.

Lizzielocket · 04/08/2019 23:09

DP and I always go to bed together, we quite often shower together before bed. It’s our time alone and I look forward to it.
We chat, watch a film, he works on his laptop and I doze or we have sex. Tonight we shared a box of Maltesers and watched half a film before he dozed off, I’m still awake so on here.

TheHobbitMum · 04/08/2019 23:09

DH and I do, everynight Confused

ScruffGin · 04/08/2019 23:09

We always do, unless I'm at work late

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 04/08/2019 23:09

We've been living together seven years now and I think apart from once or twice we've always gone to bed together.

Judystilldreamsofhorses · 04/08/2019 23:10

We don’t do anything other than sleep/sex in bed, I wonder if it’s to do with that? Don’t have a TV in there, and phones only used as alarms, so if we are reading/watching something/online it’s finished before we go to bed.

LoveGrowsWhere · 04/08/2019 23:10

We do a couple of times a week. Rest of the time I tend to go earlier because I like to read/MN quietly as a way of winding down. He likes to have a late drink & watch match of the day or films I have no interest in.

raindropsonwindows · 04/08/2019 23:10

We don't and part of me wishes me did along with having more of an evening routine but our jobs and other commitments are too erratic for any evening to be the same. I work with a couple of people who do exactly the same time at exactly the same time every night and I am never sure if I envy them or would die of boredom.
We do tend to watch the news at 10 together. DH then watches Newsnight which I just can't cope with anymore. I used to come upstairs and potter but now I've got into the habit of collapsing on the sofa for an hour or so once the DC are in bed so then need to catch up with bits of ironing, making packed lunches & that sort of thing later on. Usually by the time I have done that, DH is snoring on the sofa. I do like the wind down of having a bit of time to myself in our bedroom taking off my make up & that sort of thing whilst planning the next day and MNing

guffaux · 04/08/2019 23:11

together 40 yrs- we used to always go together when both home/not working next day-
now I'm on shifts so not home until 4-5-6-9am, so he goes to bed those nights

when I'm off, he tries to stay up past midnight, but that's hamster play time now, so I go up around 1am, he goes up midnight.

who knew a hamster could compromise a couple's ... intimacy!

FiveShelties · 04/08/2019 23:11

Been together for 36 years and always go to bed at the same time, usually around 11.30pm.

Rtmhwales · 04/08/2019 23:13

XH and I went to bed at the same time 95% of the nights we were together. Guess it would depend if you're two of the same (night owl or morning bird) or two different.

BloomingHydrangea · 04/08/2019 23:13

No- occasionally.
We don't have a TV in the bedroom, bedroom is for sleeping.

PickAChew · 04/08/2019 23:13

One plus of staying up with the owl is that I get to watch the hedgehogs in the garden. DH has never seen them! He tells me about the squirrels coming for their early morning breakfast!

SignedUpJust4This · 04/08/2019 23:13

We've lived together 13 years and gone to bed together every single night except if one of us is out somewhere. Would be very sad if we didn't. We always have a little chat before sleep too. About kids normally and what special things theyve done that day. I thought we were the norm.

Tigger001 · 04/08/2019 23:14

Yep we do. Its annoying though as if my dh works at night I cant sleep then as he not in the house or bed.

Sometimes we snuggle in and have a good night chat, but we are both normally fast asleep soon after

SpoonBlender · 04/08/2019 23:14

We used to, but over the last 15 years we've slowly moved to three hours apart on bedtimes. I'm the late one, DP goes off about 9pm to start the 'going to bed' process then gets up proper early. Whereas when I'm working from home my alarm is set to 8:40am...

DP's got some health issues that make the 'early shift' a good plan, and it doesn't affect us in other ways - sexy times still happen :)

el1zabeth · 04/08/2019 23:14

No, we don't go at the same time I can't recall the last time we did. Married 33 years

Itstheprinciple · 04/08/2019 23:17

In term time - we both work in schools - we go at the same time as getting up early. I fall asleep ASAP and he watches TV for a bit. In the holidays, we revert to our natural body clocks, I'm a lark and he's an owl so I come up first.

When DD was a newborn, it worked well as I would feed her about 10pm and come to bed, then he would give her a bottle around 1am and come to bed so by the time she woke again at 4am, I'd had a good stretch of sleep.

Chakano · 04/08/2019 23:17

We vary depending on work, sometimes I'm the work all night one and he's in bed at 11.00 and others I'm the early to bed one.
Sometimes it's the same time.
It's great going to bed together to dtd and then one/ both get up and do some work.
Whatever works for you.