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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that moaning about how little money you have..

202 replies

clairemcnam · 01/03/2019 15:37

when you are in an office with a couple of staff, and you are earning at least 7 times their salary, is incredibly insensitive?

OP posts:
tessica2 · 01/03/2019 15:52

Completely depends on the circumstances. Someone can earn 7 x more but have more debts, more family to support, elderly relatives to care for etc etc

Hard to know without details.

Cleffa · 01/03/2019 15:56

I used to work for a man who was ruthless in sacking staff with no notice or cutting their hours to 0 at the drop of a hat.

He unceremoniously demoted out manager and cut his wages once and in the same conversation asked him what colour of brand new sports car he should go for. I know business finances are separate to personal ones, but it was in such poor taste.

Original poster
clairemcnam · 01/03/2019 15:56

More debts? Sure if you overspend your large salary. That is a choice.
Most of us who are older have elderly relatives to care for, that comes with age for most people.
More family? You mean if they have chosen to have 12 plus kids?

OP posts:
Whisky2014 · 01/03/2019 15:57

It's all relative

Skittlesss · 01/03/2019 16:01

YABU... sorry! Just because someone earns more doesn’t mean they have more cash available. You don’t know their circumstances.

justmyview · 01/03/2019 16:01

It is insensitive. My old boss asked staff to work harder and up their game because he had private school fees to pay

Original poster
clairemcnam · 01/03/2019 16:03

Skitless They do have more cash, they are making choices about how to spend it. Sure they may be paying private school fees and have an enormous house with a mortgage, but that is a choice.
And remember these people are not my friends.

OP posts:
JessicaCH · 01/03/2019 16:06

YANBU. It is very insensitive.

Crankybitch · 01/03/2019 16:07

They may have friends who all earn more have less debts?

They may think they are being part of your group - probably think it’s better to say they don’t have enough than having a chat with you all going “I’m loaded - don’t know what to spend it all on”?

ErickBroch · 01/03/2019 16:07

YANBU it would piss me off. Rant away!

Whisky2014 · 01/03/2019 16:08

Who fucking cares? It's their choice to have but houses, fancy cars and private education.
It's your choice not to. If you have a problem with it, thats your issue, not theirs. You could have your own business and staff and have all that shit. You say "that's their choice to have all the fancy stuff and to get into debt" I say "it's your choice to be a lower paid subordinate and if you aren't happy with it, change it".

Original poster
clairemcnam · 01/03/2019 16:10

Whisky Seriously you haven't a fucking clue what you are talking about. And these people are not in business, they are an employee just like me.

OP posts:
tessica2 · 01/03/2019 16:11

@clairemcnam you didn't give details of that in original post, just asked if it was insensitive

I have some examples of why a person might not have money. I wasn't trying to start a disagreement just saying that I can't say yes or no without info

They don't sound like a nice person from your updates. But I don't think it is possible to say as a generic statement that just because someone earns more they can't have "no money"

Whisky2014 · 01/03/2019 16:12

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Dahlietta · 01/03/2019 16:12

While it's perfectly plausible to earn 7x more than somebody and still have very little leftover money to spend, I agree that it's insensitive to whinge about it in front of those very people. It's very unlikely that, even if you do have less spare cash, you don't have a much more comfortable lifestyle.

Limensoda · 01/03/2019 16:15

I say "it's your choice to be a lower paid subordinate and if you aren't happy with it, change it"

Yes, because that's soooo easy to do. People actually choose to be low paid. Hmm
Moaning is a choice...being low paid?...mostly not a choice.

Original poster
clairemcnam · 01/03/2019 16:17

I am not questioning if they can be short of disposable cash or not. It does not take a genius to work out scenarios such as private school fees, a very big mortgage, a mortgage on a second home and expensive holidays abroad, can leave you without much extra cash.
But it is insensitive.
For the UK I earn less than the average wage. But when I go abroad to a really poor country I don't moan to people who live there about how skint I am. I recognise that I have way more money than they do and exercise a bit of sensitivity.
As I said this would be different if they were friends. But they are not. They are work colleagues.

OP posts:
Original poster
clairemcnam · 01/03/2019 16:18

whisky Maybe you should seek help for your obvious anger issues?

OP posts:
Whisky2014 · 01/03/2019 16:19

Right, so if you think it's insensitive why did you start a thread about it? If you dont want to hear that it's not...what is the point?

GregoryPeckingDuck · 01/03/2019 16:19

Well after tax it won’t be seven times as much and accounting for age, family etc it may actually end up meaning very little disposable income. For instance our outgoings at the moment are extortionate. Circa £6k a month as a family. We have had to cut a lot of things out of our lives and others have been put off indefinitely (even small things like new shoes). If you compare that the a graduate who is living at home or in a shared flat the difference in salary may actually leave you worse off. If anything it’s pretty insensitive not realise that people who earn more might also struggle.

Whisky2014 · 01/03/2019 16:20

I'm not angry :)

NannyRed · 01/03/2019 16:20

It depends.

If 7x salary is on £35k with a hoofing great mortgage, a wife, four children , two cars and an au pair whilst the others are are £5k, working for shit and giggles it’s not unreasonable.

RemodellingMyHouse · 01/03/2019 16:20

YANBU OP. Only an extremely insensitive dickhead would moan about money to people who have vastly less than them.

The fact that they may have high outgoings is neither here nor there. Fancy cars, school fees etc. are a choice, not a necessity. Many people earning very little also have family to support etc., and they aren't skint through choice.

Original poster
clairemcnam · 01/03/2019 16:23

Gregory I am in my late 50s, paying a mortgage with a DP who does not earn a high wage either.

Nanny Why would you think I work for giggles? I work part time, but the 7x salary is actually based on what my full time wage would be. And I work part time because I am disabled and can not manage 5 days a week. And obviously when I am talking about 7 times salary I am talking about well over £100k, actually about £150-£160k.

OP posts:
NannyRed · 01/03/2019 16:24

op am I being unreasonable?

everybody Yes!

op no I’m not, leave me alone!!