Page 6 | To think that moaning about how little money you have..

clairemcnam · 2019-03-01T15:37:04+00:00

when you are in an office with a couple of staff, and you are earning at least 7 times their salary, is incredibly insensitive?

Ihatemyseleffordoingthis · 02/03/2019 19:20

6k after tax is a net 72k pa. The median household income in the UK in 2018 was £28400, gross. Definitively - not "relatively" affluent. It "might not seem like much" but it's an awful lot more than most people can ever hope to earn. If they have made the choice to live beyond their very ample means they should have just a smidgen of selfawareness to keep quiet about it.

Teateaandmoretea · 02/03/2019 19:23

Household income includes pensioners though, some of whom will have been high earners in the past .....

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 02/03/2019 19:34

I am a high earner but most of my money is committed. We could have a smaller house, cheaper cars etc and it would free up money. I have to save for big purchases like bathrooms/cars/holidays. I wouldn’t dream of complaining about money to the people I work with who are on about a quarter of the salary I am because it would make me a complete tit. I try to avoid talking about it at all.

EvePolastriBaby · 02/03/2019 19:36

ihatemyself

Did you read my post as-

'6K is nothing....pffffft, I can only afford one pair of Jimmy Choos per month.
I so totally would complain at work to my colleagues, I couldn't care less if they're on their arses and struggling.'

No, I said wages are relative- they are. I also said it's crass and rude to talk about it.

birdsandroses · 02/03/2019 19:41

OP, yanbu, there is such a thing as mind your audience

Alienspaceship · 02/03/2019 19:43

It took me years to realise that your salary and income are 2 very different things, and that 2 people in the same office on quite different salaries may have the same income due to tax credits etc etc. So maybe not that insensitive.

RemodellingMyHouse · 02/03/2019 19:50

You think that someone's income might go up to £140k+ due to tax credits?!

Original poster

clairemcnam · 02/03/2019 19:57

You know lost of people including me on lower salaries are not entitled to any benefits? I earn £1k per month.

OP posts:

Ihatemyseleffordoingthis · 02/03/2019 20:03

@eve, no not at all, I just disagree about it being "relative"

It is a large salary. Factually and objectively. Regardless of whether - and on what - you've spent it.

EvePolastriBaby · 02/03/2019 20:48

It's all relative.

It may be a huge salary to you, it is to me too.
But, say for instance that you live in the North- it would seem much more than it would to me in Surrey.

Is it huge to someone who takes home £100K or more? No, they probably wouldn't be able to fulfil their financial obligations.

That was my point.

Dimsumlosesum · 02/03/2019 20:53

Is it huge to someone who takes home £100K or more? No, they probably wouldn't be able to fulfil their financial obligations

Yes, yes it is still huge. Just because some people have that much money, doesn't mean they actually spank it up the wall each month, speaking from experience.

Dimsumlosesum · 02/03/2019 20:56

It's not "all relative"If you earn a large salary but have little money it is because you have chosen an expensive lifestyle/place to live/spent too much in the past/have nice, expensive things. Not because you are, definitely, skint

^^ yup.

snowball28 · 02/03/2019 20:57

I’ve a friend who is absolutely lovely but her parents have bankrolled her through life, she came round for a coffee the other day and moaned about how her parents could only free up £80,000 to give her as a house deposit I’m like ‘oh right’ all whilst inwardly thinking that’s 4 years gross year pay for me . . .

I think sometimes yeah it can be insensitive and if always watch my money talk and base it in the audience I have.

EvePolastriBaby · 02/03/2019 20:58

Yes, yes it is still huge. Just because some people have that much money, doesn't mean they actually spank it up the wall each month, speaking from experience.

I didn't say they did spunk it. But that it may be likely that financial obligations would be higher. Mortgages, car payments, school payments etc. Therefore it wouldn't seem as huge as it would to someone taking home 1K a month.

For instance, my rent down south is double what it would be in the outskirts of Newcastle (just an example), therefore my salary is OK, doable, liveable, some space for luxuries. If I moved up there, it'd seem much more.

But, as you are speaking from experience, you can take the final word on this....

BlimeyCalmDown · 02/03/2019 21:00

YANBU it's very insensitive and dickheadish

Applesaregreenandred · 02/03/2019 21:13

Bloodyhell some people. Of course it's insensitive.

Our managers earn twice FTE of admin staff and when they moan about money - and they do - I find it annoying but someone who earns 7 x your FTE wage ought to have the sensitivity to keep their thoughts to themselves - although to be fair they probably have no idea how little you actually earn.

BarbarianMum · 02/03/2019 21:17

YANBU

No one has to have a huuuuge mortgage, or make payments on an expensive car or pay school fees. If you are lucky enough to have those things then dont whine because your jewelled sandals are rubbing.

bibbitybobbityyhat · 02/03/2019 21:18

Of course yanbu. It's making me lol that anyone on here is trying to argue that you are with a straight face.

Bumbalaya · 02/03/2019 21:43

eek I do this sometimes.
I work part time and my colleagues earn much less than me but their husband's are well off and they're property owners where I rent and live paycheque to pay cheque and it's all rather precarious.
Thanks for the reminder I can imagine I come across as a bit out order.

snoutandab0ut · 02/03/2019 22:02

Yes, frankly, if you earn enough to cover all your outgoings and essentials (and private school, huge houses and holidays are NOT essentials) without having to worry about it and have some left over, then you are really in no position to complain. I say this as someone who earns above the average salary. If you choose to make profligate life choices that make you ‘skint’, suck it up. I wouldn’t dream of complaining about my financial situation in front of people I knew had less, it’s gross. And this stupid British refusal to talk about money only contributes to inequality. My friends and I are very open about our salaries and outgoings and this should be the norm in workplaces. It might shame some of the ‘skint’ high earners into realising their own privilege. Only people who truly believe that poor people are poor because of their own failings - a belief mainly held to justify your own privilege - would think this boss isn’t being incredibly distasteful. I didn’t grow up in a privileged household but I am more than willing to recognise I have financial privilege now, and it isn’t just a question of ‘work harder’ if you want to earn more. If capitalism worked we’d all be millionaires

snoutandab0ut · 02/03/2019 22:07

And this ‘it’s nothing if you live in London or the south’ attitude is a myth. I lived in London for 5 years and even people there would consider £40k upwards a decent salary!

Alienspaceship · 02/03/2019 22:26

Remodelling - I worked with a person two ‘ranks’ below me. We both worked equally hard, but I had much more stress and responsibility- it goes with the territory. She was very open about finances (I wasn’t). I was surprised that her income was quite a lot more than mine. We both had 2 kids.
Just to be clear, I don’t have a problem with it, but I realised that I don’t need to be ‘sensitive’ about discussing money.

Graphista · 03/03/2019 00:53

Snoutandabout "If capitalism worked we’d all be millionaires" yep! It genuinely shocks me people (especially not well off people) STILL believe in things like "trickle down economics" & "capitalism is meritocratic" 🙄puhlease!!

Capitalism only works for the ALREADY RICH!

And yes I too am getting sick of the "but £10k doesn't go far in London/the south east" bollocks! I lived as a low paid worker in the south east for several years inc london for a year. If that were true there'd be NO even averagely paid workers there cos they couldn't afford it!

I've replied on several posts where posters have been complaining about their income & rents/mortgages and saying it's a struggle because they live in London/south east, yet when I and others have looked at the average prices where they are and CHALLENGED them on their assertions they either disappear or give the online version of stuttered ineffective excuses!

On one thread recently a particular financially irresponsible poster was trying to claim such difficulties - turns out they lived in a 3 bed semi in a nice area near to the train station! At the point they chose that property they hadn't even had their first child!

People don't have realistic attitudes to what they can afford. As a pp said (and I said it I think a few times on the thread I'm thinking of) people are far too often confusing "want" with "need".

I'm on a very tight budget myself and would hate for people to go without essentials and am very happy to help out people genuinely struggling, but it does piss me off when I start commenting on threads where the op has claimed they're in dire straits, they get loads of sympathy and advice - and then it turns out it's because they don't WANT to give up things like top end cars, holidays, even expenses like premium tv, expensive hairdressers and weekly expensive manicures etc! When they've made out at the beginning they're needing to cut their food bill!

NO! You're a fucking idiot who's prioritising style over substance/playing keep up with the Jones'/wanting a champagne lifestyle on a beer budget! Get a fucking grip and grow up! 😡 sorry bit of a rant but it does bug me.

Alienspaceship - how was her income more than yours if you were higher ranking?

nos123 · 03/03/2019 01:06

@whiskey2014

“It’s your choice to be a lower payed subordinate”

It’s people like you who make me hate people like you even more.

Go ahead, be that person calling someone who becomes a teacher instead of a banker a subordinate. It’s not all about salary, but yes, it is annoying to hear people on 40k per annum more than you complain about money when you have to think twice about buying a coffee and they’re thinking twice about buying a second home.

poppycity · 03/03/2019 04:48

@clairemcnam - totally get it OP. Very hard when people can't see privilege of be sensitive. We have so many upper middle class feeling they are hard done by and losing complete perspectives that much of what they spend on is a choice. I know someone with a high household income who constantly complains about 'being poor' when in reality they bought a large 5 bedroom detached home, have a weekly cleaning service, own a luxury static caravan and have ample retirement savings and pensions. It's good they are in that situation but quite ridiculous to complain as if they are on the breadline!

It can be very hard when you are struggling to be in these situations. Try to tune them out, however hard it is.