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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that moaning about how little money you have..

202 replies

clairemcnam · 01/03/2019 15:37

when you are in an office with a couple of staff, and you are earning at least 7 times their salary, is incredibly insensitive?

OP posts:
RhymingRabbit · 01/03/2019 21:15

@Graphista well said.

OP YANBU.
Ignore @Whiskey. What a belter.

havingabadhairday · 01/03/2019 21:29

"I had a friend years ago who used to say they were skint and had to "transfer some money" (from their savings)."

I used to know someone similar, they were always on at me about how we need a new car or to redecorate or whatever. I'd say outright that we couldn't afford it. 'Oh, I'm skint too', she'd reply, but she meant she had nothing on her or her current account was a bit low. It got a bit wearing after a while...

RoseMartha · 01/03/2019 21:33

I think it is insensitive of them. They seem to have different priorities and spread the money too thin and therefore feel skint. But I dont think they understand what skint really is. Because if you are really skint there is no money for new clothes or the gas bill or food. They feel skint because they overspent on luxuries that is out of many peoples reach. And bearing that in mind, it is then insensitive to be going on about it in the company if people who have a lot less.

Ihatemyseleffordoingthis · 01/03/2019 21:41

YANBU OP
It's not "all relative"
If you earn a large salary but have little money it is because you have chosen an expensive lifestyle/place to live/spent too much in the past/have nice, expensive things. Not because you are, definitely, skint.

WhiteDust · 01/03/2019 21:51

YANBU. They are rude, insensitive and crass.

Btw, looks like someone's been on the whisky OP. Ignore.

Etino · 01/03/2019 21:51

I’m amazed at the responses here. Of course you don’t moan about something, anything to someone with a very different but relevant experience. Exhausting busy Christmas to lonely friendless person- no! Tiredness with baby twins to collegue who’s just miscarried- no! Demanding elderly parents to orphaned friend- no!
It’s not rocket science.
Pick your audience, people.

Cheetahssitonfajitas · 01/03/2019 22:16

Yanbu. It's fine to moan but it's not sensitive of them to moan about lack of money in front of people earning significantly less. It demonstrates lackof awareness. Just like I won't go and moan about my leaking chimney and storage issues to the guy selling The Big Issue. Time, place and audience should be considered before letting off steam.

Bluntness100 · 01/03/2019 22:22

It's fine to moan but it's not sensitive of them to moan about lack of money in front of people earning significantly less

Why when the person who earns less is happy with their salary, financially secure and in a a high status role?

So it's more complex than the person was complaining in front of someone who earns less, they were moaning to someone financially secure, not skint, happy with their salary and in a high status role.

That changes the nuance completely. Again if rhe op has said she was skint and struggling it's a whole different ballgame, but that's not her position. Far from it,

Cheetahssitonfajitas · 01/03/2019 22:36

But was the moaner aware of all of that? Doubtful. And what about everyone else that was in the room?

Original poster
clairemcnam · 01/03/2019 22:50

Why when the person who earns less is happy with their salary, financially secure and in a a high status role?

This is not what I said at all. I said I am not skint as I can pay the bills and buy food. I would love to be paid more, but I am not counting pennies round the supermarket, so not skint. I am not financially secure. I am disabled and have to work. If money was no object I would not work. My job is not high status, but it is higher status than the salary would suggest.

OP posts:
anniehm · 01/03/2019 23:01

Yabu £6k is not a high income after tax if you have a single income (thus tax burden is higher) a mortgage, no child benefits and pay elder care costs plus university costs for 2 (they are means tested so kids get only min loan) plus have one kid with sen.

Original poster
clairemcnam · 01/03/2019 23:06

£6.5k a month is not a high income!!!!
It is just over 6 months salary for me.

OP posts:
Original poster
clairemcnam · 01/03/2019 23:10

And the 6.5k a month is net.

OP posts:
Teateaandmoretea · 02/03/2019 07:04

6.5k IS a high income jeepers creepers 😂

RemodellingMyHouse · 02/03/2019 07:10

Jesus there are some ignorant people on here. How do people who are so unaware of the reality of most people's lives end up earning so much? It's not hard to realise and acknowledge that you're better off than others. Just look around you!

Dimsumlosesum · 02/03/2019 07:12

"6k per month is not a high income"

I've heard it all now.

Mummadeeze · 02/03/2019 07:24

I kind of know what you mean, because my sister is really really wealthy and used to complain that they were struggling because they had over spent on speed boats, new expensive cars etc etc. It was just a cash flow thing until the next massive bonus. And it was slightly irritating to me because I had so much less and felt I was genuinely struggling. However, it really is all relative because I often complain about being skint to some of my more junior colleagues at work (E.g. I can’t afford to come out tonight because I can’t afford a babysitter again this month) even though I earn a lot more than them! Maybe they find it annoying, I hadn’t really thought of that! I guess money worries are real for everyone though, no matter how much you earn if you are living beyond your means. So I think you are being a bit unreasonable. But on that salary, they should really try to be a bit cleverer with their money as there is no need for them to be broke if they managed things a bit better or lived in a slightly less extravagant way.

swingofthings · 02/03/2019 07:33

It is totally insensitive. In the same way I've had some colleagues monsings out how hard they had it being a working mum when they work 4 days a week, I have a hands on involved husband and two set of parents always willing to look after the kids and they share an office with single mums working FT with no help from family at all.

You do have to consider the audience around you when you decide to moan. If you are desperate, at least acknowledge that you know others have it much worse.

ElinoristhenewEnid · 02/03/2019 07:35

I have found that those who moan about being skint are not really hard up - they just want more. Those who are really skint keep quiet about it!

Charley50 · 02/03/2019 09:12

I know people who are loaded; e.g. have paid off their mortgage in London, go ski-Ing plus long haul holidays, or send kids to private school, who always moan about being skint.

I think it's just a habit and I usually just inwardly roll my eyes.

Charley50 · 02/03/2019 09:18

@ElinoristhenewEnid - I totally agree with that. People who really are skint, or just struggling a bit, are embarrassed to say, as it implies they've made poor choices and our less successful than their peers.

Graphista · 02/03/2019 18:58

""6k per month is not a high income"

I've heard it all now"

Bloody hell! Me too!

6k is about 6 MONTHS income for me and many others around the uk. How unaware can a person be?!

EvePolastriBaby · 02/03/2019 19:11

I would agree that 6k is higher than average, but wages are relative.

Some people live in lower cost area's where rents and council tax are much lower. Therefore, their wage would go much further and 6K would seem enormous!

6K may not seem so much in an expensive area.

I would agree that people talking about money in any capacity is quite crass, so talking about how little (or lots) you have with colleagues is just not appropriate in any context.

Original poster
clairemcnam · 02/03/2019 19:13

This person is in the same workplace as me. We both pay a mortgage. I am sure his is much higher, but that is a choice. I have a family sized home.

OP posts:
EvePolastriBaby · 02/03/2019 19:18

OP- I got that, I read your posts.

I was just commenting on the disparity of views of he 6K that someone mentioned previously.