To think that moaning about how little money you have..

[clairemcnam]

when you are in an office with a couple of staff, and you are earning at least 7 times their salary, is incredibly insensitive?

Higher level employees should never talk about money at work. It’s ridiculously tacky. It could be ok to complain about local housing prices or tax rates since those impact everyone, but even then you need to be careful.

Yes I am disabled, but my partner is fine and we can pay all our bills fine. I am happy with my life. If any anger is coming across it is at some of the stupid comments on here.

I am struggling to understand your issue. You're financially secure, you have no money worries and you're happy with your life and job. Why are you taking such umbrage about someone having a whinge they are skint. You keep posting in this manner, about those who have more, and how they look down on others in your view, but then go to great pains to point out that those others are not you.

I'd get it if you were skint and struggling, but you're apparently not. You're on here telling peoooe who are skint and strukgging how happy you are and financially secure.

It's all a bit hard to fathom op.

You pick your audience when you moan, I wouldn’t complain about me weight to someone either much bigger or with an eating disorder. I wouldn’t complain about my mortgage to someone living in a bedsit. It would be being polite and sensitive to consider that others might actually be in a worse position.

I don't think your income is any indicator of how well off you are. Tbh I chuckled when I found out someone much more senior than me (probably 6 figure salary just about) couldn't afford a car. But I have a pretty easy London-based job and I've managed to wangle being based elsewhere. I reckon I'm better off than him in reality (dh also earns well) despite grossing less than half he does.

However, this is a bit different. It would be like him moaning to the cleaners he was skint. Errrr no yanbu that's awful.

Whilst I understand your anger and I say this as someone raised on a council estate but set to eat very similar if not more in the near future. I also appreciate I don’t know the field of work you do.

Some of these people have worked their way up academically and professionally for years- let’s look at Surgeons 6 years med school, 2 years post med school training then another 8 years specialty training. A lot of this is paid but not that well. There are also a lot of post grad professional exams and courses which cost thousands of pounds to prepare for and take. They will also be taking their work home with them doing hundreds of unpaid hours reading papers to keep up to date as well as writing their own case reports/papers which you have to do as a Consultant. This is all outside of their clinical work btw. I’ve heard it’s the same for lawyers / barristers too in their respective fields. Such career paths can actually run you into debt. Not suggesting you don’t work hard but based on your income I guess it’s a different type of hard work which is consuming. Yes you get “rewarded” with a high salary at the end but by that time is a different load of expenses (school fees and mortgages)

I’m just trying to say earning more money does not always equate to more cash and can actually leave you time poor. Lots of these people have marital breakdown and a lot of women I know have delayed starting families and going through IVF too.

Disclaimer (I am a Surgeon)

Set to earn!!!!

YANBU. I'm not a high earner but I earn more than the people in my team and while some of them probably have more disposable income than me, I think it's in poor taste to whinge about money in front of them.

If my boss had the poor taste to complain about money to me I'd just blank them, no response and then put my head down and get on with my work.

Whisky2014 you one of those that thinks the rich are rich because they "work harder"?

If so

digitalsynopsis.com/inspiration/privileged-kids-on-a-plate-pencilsword-toby-morris/

Yepimafraidichangeditagain might want to take a look too.

Do you REALLY think the lowest paid roles are the least hard workers? Retail workers? Cleaners? Care assistants? Bin men? Street sweepers? Teaching assistants? Waiting staff? Bar staff? Kitchen assistants? Really? I bloody don't!

And that higher paid roles are the most hard working? Chief execs? Directors? Bankers? Stock execs? Yea not bloody likely!

It's not all choice, there's an awful lot of luck - good and bad - that comes into how well off a person is - or not - too. There's also lot of prejudice that affects how well paid certain roles are. The obvious one is sexism - roles more likely to be filled by women are far more likely to be lower paid, this is not news, but we're only just starting to look at roles more likely to be filled by non-Whites and the pay gap there too. Eventually they might get around to looking at the roles more likely to be filled by the sick & disabled and the huge gap in pay per hour if people work part time.

"If 7x salary is on £35k with a hoofing great mortgage, a wife, four children , two cars and an au pair whilst the others are are £5k, working for shit and giggles it’s not unreasonable."

All of those expenses for the better paid person are very much a choice. I agree with limensoda moaning when you've CHOSEN to spend your higher income on luxuries is a CHOICE being on a lower pay is not!

Nannyred - except not everyone disagrees that wasn't even true when you posted that

I think it's insensitive, crude and bad manners.

I was raised that in public/real life/outside your close circle you do neither - moan about being badly off nor gloat about being well off. You certainly don't CLAIM to be badly off when you're not.

Possible exception being in a wider discussion about the politics of such matters but then I was also taught to be mindful who you discuss politics with/in front of.

"If you don't like the topic, just walk away from it." It doesn't sound like the higher earning employee is giving people the choice!

"What would you like him to say?" How about nothing? There are times it's more polite and wiser to keep ones own counsel.

Bluntness what's wrong with having a sense of justice? Do you think it's only the poor/struggling that should point out that the rich/not struggling should not be acting or speaking insensitively or even rudely?

I've never been very well off but I've had times when I was doing ok and had some disposable income and not had to worry too much about being able to pay the bills, would never in front of a colleague I knew was on much less money eg moan about could only afford a weeks holiday that year

It's just consideration for others. Being mindful of who your audience is and thinking before speaking.

Op yanis but lots on this thread are.

The op did not say those on higher wages can not moan or never mbna but that it was insensitive to moan to those earning 7 times less. This is insensitive and all those who don't think so probably have very tight diamond shoes.

Of course everyone is allowed to moan but it's context...

Also if people are skint on high incomes because of spending choices, that is very different to be skint on a low income which is different to being skint in a third world country. In fact let's stop using the word skint, if you work and can pay your bills then you are not skint. If you can't afford to pay your bills that's skint in the true sense of the word.

People have lot sight of what's a need and what's a want.

Yanbu this person sounds like a tosser. "Ooh I've got loads of money but I wish I had more". Aye, okay.

Op yanbu not op yanis

Graphista, I read only the first line of your post to me.
You like to tell a narrative.
No, I didn't say people who work harder are at the top although usually people they have worked hard previously get to the top. Then they can put their feet up obvs ;)
Cant respond to whatever else you've said. It's like Rachel's letter to Ross. "18 pages Front AND back" zzzz

Whisky

'YOU FELL ASLEEEEEEP??' 🤣

I actually lolled there!

I think YANBU. It’s really insensitive and crass to moan about being skint in those circumstances. They have options to do something about it, as presumably the reason for being skint is that they are living beyond their quite considerable means

Yepimafraidichangeditagain

All I've done, same as everyone else acting reasonably on this thread and not looking to dig at posters and make personal attacks on them for their entire posting history, is give my opinion on the query posed and been clear its my opinion not in any way posted as if mine is the only or correct opinion particularly.

I've asked and answered questions posed by other posters which is perfectly normal in a discussion that's my understanding of how debate work.

I've not made any personal attacks nor demands.

I merely suggested a link might be of interest.

I didn't "miss" anything I merely didn't specifically comment on every comment made.

Whisky2014 I never said you said that people who work harder are at the top I asked questions based on what you had posted.

Read my posts, don't read them up to you, but if you don't read them be aware you may, if you comment on them, your comments may be incorrect or misleading.

Tbh not sure why you're still on the thread to be honest given your feelings toward op did you know you can hide threads?

@Graphista well said.

I think some folk just like moaning or don't want ppl to think they are loaded.

I'd be tempted to say oh come on maybe ur version of skint is very different to ours!

I've got a friend that I know has plenty of cash, she frequently says she's skint. I don't know why coz she's talking shit. She doesn't know the meaning of the word. Think she says it to "fit" in with others. I would never say it unless it was actually true.

Thanks @GiveMyHeadPeaceffs

Shelbybear yes I've come across that in real life too someone claiming to be skint when they'd thousands in their bank account. That to me (and to the person they were at the time complaining) is NOT skint. Skint to me is worrying if you can pay the next bill, buy the next meal you need to that kinda thing

YANBU since presumably this person knows they earn a huge amount more than the others.

I had a friend years ago who used to say they were skint and had to "transfer some money" (from their savings). I was so skint I had no savings She also used to say how hard up her parents were - but they owned two houses and an aeroplane (okay, only a 4 seater but I've never known anyone else who owned one). I now have quite a lot in the bank; none of my friends have anything like as much as I do, so I won't go banging on about the £500 I spent on clothes recently or about exactly how much I have in savings.

Graphista, totally agree with you.

@StarbucksSmarterSister

Thanks

Yea I think most people through their lives find their fortunes tend to fluctuate for many reasons. But some very well off people seem to lack not only self awareness but awareness of what others circumstances might be

YANBU.

Everyone is entitled to have a moan, however I think being considerate in who you choose to moan to is important.

YANBU OP. I totally agree with you and simply don’t understand the mentality of those critising you for being ‘jealous’ etc.

Decent human beings think through what they say and how it might make others feel. This would be especially important if they are cooped up in an office with them all week. Moaning about being poor or strapped for cash when you have a good salary is crass. It’s just as bad as stealth boasting or outright bragging. I have a colleague who can’t get from one end of a sentence to another without bragging about how much money they have spent on this that or the next thing, and it’s usually extravagant gifts and outings for her children. I always imagine it must make the struggling (I know she is financially struggling) single mum in the office feel like crap.