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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that moaning about how little money you have..

202 replies

clairemcnam · 01/03/2019 15:37

when you are in an office with a couple of staff, and you are earning at least 7 times their salary, is incredibly insensitive?

OP posts:
Amibeingnaive · 01/03/2019 16:38

Please don't count other people's money, it's so crass.

This^^

Original poster
clairemcnam · 01/03/2019 16:40

I have no issue with my salary. And I have worked extremely hard. Did you miss where I said I was disabled and can't work full time? I could stay at home, but I push myself, and retrained to do a job I can manage to do with my disability.

Sure they have worked hard to get where they are, but don't assume just because I am lower paid that I haven't also worked hard to get to where I am. And actually the assumptions that some make that I am simply lazy or uneducated annoy me.

And I am not guessing how much they earn. I know how much they both earn. And it is relevant to my job that I do know that.

I also really enjoy my job and am glad I work there.
But I was also raised to show some sensitivity to other people.

OP posts:
YepImafraidIchangeditagain · 01/03/2019 16:42

Sure they have worked hard to get where they are, but don't assume just because I am lower paid that I haven't also worked hard to get to where I am. And actually the assumptions that some make that I am simply lazy or uneducated annoy me.
*

No one said this. You're gaslighting.
I can see why your colleagues aren't your friends.

ADropofReality · 01/03/2019 16:42

So long as they're not in a position to sack you, when they start moaning about their money troubles, put on your most sarcastic voice and tell them you're playing the world's smallest violin, just for them. They may take the hint. What they are doing is incredibly crass and utterly loathsome.

Original poster
clairemcnam · 01/03/2019 16:42

Bluntness No I am not. Yes I am disabled, but my partner is fine and we can pay all our bills fine. I am happy with my life. If any anger is coming across it is at some of the stupid comments on here.

OP posts:
Crankybitch · 01/03/2019 16:43

I have noticed this a lot on MN

You are not allowed to moan or have any problems if you are on an ok salary

I don’t get it - surely everyone is allowed to have a bit of a moan about their lives at some point?

He would be unreasonable to be taking the Mikey out of you for earning so little compared to him but I don’t think he’s being unreasonable to say “ I’m skint this month” (even if it is though choice - schools, holidays etc etc)

YepImafraidIchangeditagain · 01/03/2019 16:44

Bluntness No I am not. Yes I am disabled, but my partner is fine and we can pay all our bills fine. I am happy with my life. If any anger is coming across it is at some of the stupid comments on here.*

I have just searched your username, because others flagged that you have posted similar. The above statement now looks like BS to me. You love a moan!! Which is fine, but be prepared to accept criticism or a difference of opinion.

Skittlesss · 01/03/2019 16:44

So what if their spending is a choice? It doesn’t mean they aren’t skint!

You sound very jealous tbh

Original poster
clairemcnam · 01/03/2019 16:45

crankybitch Would you go on holiday to India and moan to the waiters there about how skint you are on an "ok salary" (actually a large salary)?

OP posts:
YepImafraidIchangeditagain · 01/03/2019 16:46

Did you go to India with them?

Crankybitch · 01/03/2019 16:49

He’s not moaning to the waiters though is he? He maybe they love him as he leaves a large tip? I have no idea

He’s having a chat with work colleagues who he knows are on less money and has said he’s not rolling in it this month either - he probably thinks that makes him one of the team.

What would you like him to say?

Original poster
clairemcnam · 01/03/2019 16:49

Yelp Yes I started one other thread about the way some people talk to those with lower status such as cleaners. I am not in the receiving end of this., My job has higher status than my salary would lead you to believe. But I have seen this happen too many times.
No that is not loving to moan or being jealous.
But I think there is a certain kind of well off person who treats anyone with lower status with insensitivity at best and patronisation and disadain at worst, and hates being called out on it.

OP posts:
Original poster
clairemcnam · 01/03/2019 16:50

crankybitch - You are rewriting what I said. The conversation was not about being short of money this month*, but about being skint generally.

OP posts:
Thecabbageassasin · 01/03/2019 16:52

Without knowing the individual. As a general rule, some people regardless of how much money they have will always want more, they cannever have enough, it’s really fucked up thinking and sad to think you can never be satisfied. It would probably get on my nerves, but would console myself at the pitiful bastards greed.
If he’s just done it as a one off this afternoon, cut him a bit of slack maybe he’s just having a bad day, being human after all.

Whisky2014 · 01/03/2019 16:55

This reply has been deleted

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Original poster
clairemcnam · 01/03/2019 16:58

Yes I remember you on that one whisky ignoring that I had said that I had went in to deal with a relative's estate and instead just being extremely aggressive. I don't recognise many names, but I do recognise yours.
And if you think my threads are so boring, then why do you keep commenting on them?

OP posts:
BreconBeBuggered · 01/03/2019 16:59

I think the crassness in this situation is whining about money problems to people who patently have much less money.

Whisky2014 · 01/03/2019 17:03

This reply has been deleted

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Chloemol · 01/03/2019 17:13

YABU. It’s all relative Icone to expenditure. Lots of people of lots of different salaries wil moan about lack of money. Just because they have spent on something you don’t shouldnt matter. If you don’t want to listen to it move, leave the room, tell them. But dont moan on here and then get cross when people don’t agree with you

Klopptimist · 01/03/2019 17:14

Most places have their moaners. You can always shut that shit down by saying "Aren't we all" or "Well, if we were rich, we wouldn't be here would we?". I do agree with you though claire, it can be insensitive. What annoys me is the part-timers who breezily announce that "I only work here to pay for holidays".

Littleraindrop15 · 01/03/2019 17:16

Op you are being unreasonable. Everyone has the right to complain even those who earn a higher salary.

Dillydallyingthrough · 01/03/2019 17:32

I kind of get what you're saying.

I'm technically a high earner but my expenditure is high - for example I'm a single parent renting in the SE and I have a disability which means I have to catch lots of taxis (when I can't walk or I take morphine). So I'm sure many people I work with would think that I am better off than them, but most are either married with 2 incomes or living at home with their parents not paying board. But surely I would have as much (and in some cases) even more reason to moan about being skint!?!??

To be clear my DD doesn't go to private school and I rent a tiny house in not a great area, we don't have lots of holidays - before I get the response that I made the choice to spend extravagantly...

However I was raised not to discuss money so I don't!

nokidshere · 01/03/2019 17:35

Of course yabu. Everyone is entitled to a moan every now and again. Someone somewhere is saying something insensitive every time they speak probably.

Lots of people are cash poor. Having lots of possessions or a better lifestyle than others doesn't mean you automatically have any actual cash left in the month.

user1471426142 · 01/03/2019 17:43

You’ve had a hard time on here. For what it’s worth, my household income is high. I’d never sit in the office and moan about how big my mortgage is, my childcare bill etc. I have made choices and I am lucky to have those choices. I know I have lots of people that work for me that are struggling. If people don’t get that then yes they are being insensitive and a bit clueless.

Billballbaggins · 01/03/2019 17:59

Anyone earning thousands a month more than someone else and then moans about money to the lower earned is a thoughtless dick.