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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not send meals home with DSC

259 replies

user1471499145 · 11/02/2019 21:55

DPs DCs stay EOW. He sees them twice every week as well.
Their DM lives with her partner. She has high earning job but doesn’t return home until 7pm ish. The DCs are 15 & 18.
DP has asked if I can send them home with a meal that can be frozen/re heated on the weekends they are with us because they are fed up with their meals.
I have done so far but this weekend I spent 6 hours cooking. I’m knackered.
& I’m feeding his ex - she sent a thank you for her dinner tonight !
I want someone to cook me dinner!

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratcett · 11/02/2019 21:57

You have a handle on the side of your head, love.

AngeloMysterioso · 11/02/2019 21:57

Yeah, that’s just stupid. At 15 & 18 they are old enough to cook their own damn food.

lastqueenofscotland · 11/02/2019 21:57

Why are you doing this!!!? It’s batshit.
Tell DP to do it

lagalaga · 11/02/2019 21:57

Eh?

RainbowMum11 · 11/02/2019 21:57

If the kids are 15 & 18, surely they should start learning to cook themselves? We certainly did from a lot younger.

MatildaTheCat · 11/02/2019 21:58

Get him a brochure or link to Cook the frozen ready meal company.

Then put your feet up. He’s a CF to even ask you. Let him prepare a bunch of lovely home made meals if he wants to.

GummyGoddess · 11/02/2019 21:58

If he wants them to be sent home with a meal then he can make it (and clean up) surely?

AnneLovesGilbert · 11/02/2019 21:58

Don’t be so utterly ridiculous.

They can shop and cook for their own meals.

AdaColeman · 11/02/2019 21:59

Just stop doing it!

EggysMom · 11/02/2019 21:59

Er no. Their DM is responsible for feeding them when they are with her. Or they can feed themselves.

Oakmaiden · 11/02/2019 21:59

If you were feeling particularly kind and generous you could supervise the children cooking their own meal to take home with them to eat...

Further than that I would not go. And I wouldn't see a necessity for you to do that much, but it might be considered a nice thing to do.

MrsTerryPratcett · 11/02/2019 22:00

Your DP is getting you to do the wifework for his ex. Is he a sexist arsehole generally?

Member984815 · 11/02/2019 22:00

They can cook they're own meals , if my 17 year old doesn't like the dinner I cook she does her own .

user1493413286 · 11/02/2019 22:00

Suggest he teaches them how to cook a couple of basic meals. By 15 I could do several meals and by 18 I was fairly self sufficient

altiara · 11/02/2019 22:02

I learnt this on mumsnet “no is a complete sentence” - use it Wink

HeckyPeck · 11/02/2019 22:04

I can’t imagine my husband having the barefaced cheek to ask that!

He’s taking the right piss. I’d stop cooking all together for him and the step kids and let him pull his bloody weight!

Original poster
user1471499145 · 11/02/2019 22:05

Just reading through my OP I realise how stupid it is.
I think I just wanted to do right by the DSC.

OP posts:
ThanosSavedMe · 11/02/2019 22:05

Wtf? He wants them to have meals at their mums, he can cook them

ThanosSavedMe · 11/02/2019 22:06

If you want to do right by them, teach them how to cook

punishmepunisher · 11/02/2019 22:06

Why can't he batch cook something for them? Has he had both hands amputated?

BartonHollow · 11/02/2019 22:09

Really don't see why you are being expected to cook for presumably able teens AND his ex wife.

If it's your decision to/your choice - fine
if it's because he's forcing you to or manipulating you to It's a pisstake and a serious problem in your relationship !

AnneLovesGilbert · 11/02/2019 22:12

One of them is an adult FGS. At 9 my DSS can make toast, cereal, pancakes, heat up some soup or a jar of sauce.

Your partner should be ashamed his teen and adult children can’t feed themselves.

Panicatthebistro · 11/02/2019 22:18

Cheeky Fs' - bet you are feeding his ex's partner as well!

fifig87 · 11/02/2019 22:19

That's batshit. I wouldn't mind if it was leftovers and a favourite of the kids or something. At that age the kids should be well capable of cooking dinners.
Also if she is a high earned, why doesn't she use one of those gourmet meals delivery services

TakeMe2Insanity · 11/02/2019 22:21

You know this is total madness.