To not send meals home with DSC

[user1471499145]

DPs DCs stay EOW. He sees them twice every week as well.
Their DM lives with her partner. She has high earning job but doesn’t return home until 7pm ish. The DCs are 15 & 18.
DP has asked if I can send them home with a meal that can be frozen/re heated on the weekends they are with us because they are fed up with their meals.
I have done so far but this weekend I spent 6 hours cooking. I’m knackered.
& I’m feeding his ex - she sent a thank you for her dinner tonight !
I want someone to cook me dinner!

[Jaxinthebox]

Actually I have just run my local office and they will call me when they have dates for starting the programme. Not ideal, but its a start.

Carlos . I hope you are doing ok.

[Jaxinthebox]

taimaa I realise that now. Have just sat and thought about my relationships throughout my life and had a huge lightbulb moment. The newish relationship is done. I ended it yesterday and plan to contact WA on Monday.

I am broken

[TaimaandRanyasBestFriend]

I am in a newish relationship and this is ringing alarm bells in my head again.
The thought of doing the freedom programme didnt enter my head until reading your post this evening when I now realise that in order to spot any other CF in my life I need to do this.

You need to get rid of your 'newish relationship' and stop dating until you do the Freedom Programme and get some help for your self-esteem or you'll just go from one abusive relationship to another.

[DishingOutDone]

Do you think OP will cover a dessert based issue in the next post?

[Fleetwoodsnack]

I'm getting ads for simply cook because of this thread. Direct them to Gousto or Hello Fresh - on mummies credit card obv.

[AmImadorisitthem]

I don't usually post but this really hit a nerve with me. PLEASE think about this from another angle. What example are you setting to these children by continuing to carry on being walked all over? That it's OK to expect this from you? The best thing you could do for them is stand up for yourself and teach them that people aren't there to be used. Their parents acting 'entitled' like this will only breed more of this behaviour. This will soon become a sport to them all, to see how much they can get away with.
Stop this now.

[JustHereForThePooStories]

I don't think thr op intends to leave

I agree. She’s obviously getting something from this.

[Bluntness100]

I don't think thr op intends to leave, in fact I suspect she will cook them the meals requested. Sometimes it just is what it is.

😔

[BrexitIsComing]

I kind of like that idea, Lunde!

[TiggerSnooze]

OP, is there a part of you that thinks you just need to do enough to prove your love to him and he'll change and start appreciating you?
He really won't. It will just be a new opportunity for him to redefine the 'normal' amount of work you do for him, and take advantage.
Make a constructive plan under the guise of 'how to get the kids doing more round the house' and preparing them more for adulthood /uni whatever (because it might be great for your partner for you to do everything, but it's really not doing the nearly-adult kids any favours and he can hardly deny that) and suggest agreeing a list of chores for everyone in the house, and maybe even a plan for others to cook some nights - even with your help. See how it goes down... I suspect you know the answer :/

[strawberrisc]

If this is all true then please do make one last pie. But watch “The Help” first...

[HeckyPeck]

But part of me thinks that she could have quite a lot of fun sending these "Wagyu steak eating adolescents" with some totally random items in Tupperwares - tinned ravioli, Iceland value ready meals, black pudding, kippers

😂

[blessedmummyov5]

They all taking the piss my 12 yr old can follow a recipe from a book cook and dish it up , my 8 and 10 year old can do basic stuff on top of cooker scrambled eggs pancakes noodles reheating etc ...... just say no 😂easier said than done lol

[Lunde]

BrexitIsComing - SarahRellyBoo1987 - why? Why should the OP cook meals for her nearly adult stepchildren to take back to their mother's house, to share with the mother?

I totally think that OP should back away from the whole family.

But part of me thinks that she could have quite a lot of fun sending these "Wagyu steak eating adolescents" with some totally random items in Tupperwares - tinned ravioli, Iceland value ready meals, black pudding, kippers .......

[Lunde]

Oh dear OP I had such high hopes for you after you went to Croatia and ignored the bullying demands for a scratch Lasagna to be on the table for "his master's" return. But things seem to have moved on with your OH now bullying you into cooking for his ex's household as well. You DP truly thinks that you are his cook-housekeeper and now you have been "loaned" to his ex as a domestic servant! There is no respect for you at all! But your "D"P flatters your cooking and therefore manipulates you into being the "hired help" for the whole extended family.

You know that this has to stop and you need to find some self-respect! I think the kitchen needs to go on strike hopefully permanently so you can leave. Let DP, his ex and the teens cook their own dinners,

[BrexitIsComing]

SarahRellyBoo1987 - why? Why should the OP cook meals for her nearly adult stepchildren to take back to their mother's house, to share with the mother? Why should she spend her time, money, effort on these people? Are they not capable of cooking for themselves? Or, heaven forbid, buying a ready meal?

[Mayrhofen]

Really Sarah? After reading this whole thread you would send them home to the ex with a Tupperware container saying Susie’s Shepherd’s pie? For the ex to eat and the step children to demand and expect?

O-M-F-G

[Jaxinthebox]

I was in a similar position as you user and left a 20 yr marriage 2 years ago, I had no idea how abused (mentally, emotionally) I was until afterward. I am in a newish relationship and this is ringing alarm bells in my head again.
The thought of doing the freedom programme didnt enter my head until reading your post this evening when I now realise that in order to spot any other CF in my life I need to do this.
I wish you strength to get out and find yourself again.

[BartonHollow]

And yet people STILL reply to this thread with tips about cooking or not cooking/teaching cooking for DSC

This. Is. Not. What. This. Thread. Is.,

[Frazzledstar1]

By this age my mum had given up cooking us dinners as we were rarely all in at same time if at all! We’d mainly cook our own dinners and then every now and again she’d do a cottage pie/lasagna/casserole etc that we could warm up when we were about!

[cherish123]

Why are you doing this? Could your boyfriend not cook for his own children.

[Sarahrellyboo1987]

Old enough to cook their own meals.
But I would send them home with something anyway. I would put them in pots with things like “Susies Spaghetti Bolognese” and “Jonnies Shepperds pie”. I’d only prepare food for the kids. Not a chance I’d be cooking for exP

[TheShepherdsCrown]

Please OP leave this man. This situation is eroding your confidence. You are intelligent, capable and you should kick his arse to the kerb.

[TriciaH87]

Get 2 individual size dishes. Make you and partner a cottage pie and put some in the individual dishes for his kids. Takes under an hour n she will have to feed herself...... well he asked you to make one meal for the kids to take home for themselves not the whole family. If your asked to do for them ask for payment.

[Nanalisa60]

Just say no!! I and tell him about a wonderful service called deliveroo!!