Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

1 2 ··· 6 7 8 9 10 11

AIBU?

To not send meals home with DSC

259 replies

user1471499145 · 11/02/2019 21:55

DPs DCs stay EOW. He sees them twice every week as well.
Their DM lives with her partner. She has high earning job but doesn’t return home until 7pm ish. The DCs are 15 & 18.
DP has asked if I can send them home with a meal that can be frozen/re heated on the weekends they are with us because they are fed up with their meals.
I have done so far but this weekend I spent 6 hours cooking. I’m knackered.
& I’m feeding his ex - she sent a thank you for her dinner tonight !
I want someone to cook me dinner!

OP posts:

Report

blackteasplease · 13/02/2019 13:33

Taima you may be right. I hope now.

Mmmhmmm · 13/02/2019 13:40

I remember your other thread about lasagne. I'd hoped you'd dumped your asshole DP.

PhilomenaButterfly · 13/02/2019 13:42

They're 15 and 18, they can cook for themselves.

PhilomenaButterfly · 13/02/2019 13:45

Slightly OT, DD 11's scared of hot things, so refuses to learn how to cook.

youarenotkiddingme · 13/02/2019 14:21

They can cook you all a lovely roast on Sunday. Then take the leftovers home!

mumda · 13/02/2019 17:27

Spend some time with them teaching them to cook.
They can go home and cook their own dinners.

marylou1977 · 13/02/2019 17:46

Gentle hugs to you. It’s awful to find yourself in a bad situation and not know how you got there. I would advise seeing a therapist to help with self esteem and to give yourself insight in how you got in this situation and to help you get clarity on what you should do. I also think it wouldn’t hurt to see a lawyer about your options and what you are entitled to if you want to get out of this marriage. Best of luck to you.

dragonsfire · 13/02/2019 17:58

Oh OP sounds like your really unhappy 😔

You can turn this around, it’s not too late!

Good luck get rid of the dead wood in your life xx

Quartz2208 · 13/02/2019 18:04

Oh OP he really has eroded your boundaries as to what is normal

Nanalisa60 · 13/02/2019 18:06

Just say no!! I and tell him about a wonderful service called deliveroo!!

TriciaH87 · 13/02/2019 18:15

Get 2 individual size dishes. Make you and partner a cottage pie and put some in the individual dishes for his kids. Takes under an hour n she will have to feed herself...... well he asked you to make one meal for the kids to take home for themselves not the whole family. If your asked to do for them ask for payment.

TheShepherdsCrown · 13/02/2019 18:19

Please OP leave this man. This situation is eroding your confidence. You are intelligent, capable and you should kick his arse to the kerb.

Sarahrellyboo1987 · 13/02/2019 18:24

Old enough to cook their own meals.
But I would send them home with something anyway. I would put them in pots with things like “Susies Spaghetti Bolognese” and “Jonnies Shepperds pie”. I’d only prepare food for the kids. Not a chance I’d be cooking for exP

cherish123 · 13/02/2019 18:42

Why are you doing this? Could your boyfriend not cook for his own children.

Frazzledstar1 · 13/02/2019 18:53

By this age my mum had given up cooking us dinners as we were rarely all in at same time if at all! We’d mainly cook our own dinners and then every now and again she’d do a cottage pie/lasagna/casserole etc that we could warm up when we were about!

BartonHollow · 13/02/2019 19:08

And yet people STILL reply to this thread with tips about cooking or not cooking/teaching cooking for DSC

This. Is. Not. What. This. Thread. Is.,

Jaxinthebox · 13/02/2019 19:32

I was in a similar position as you user and left a 20 yr marriage 2 years ago, I had no idea how abused (mentally, emotionally) I was until afterward. I am in a newish relationship and this is ringing alarm bells in my head again.
The thought of doing the freedom programme didnt enter my head until reading your post this evening when I now realise that in order to spot any other CF in my life I need to do this.
I wish you strength to get out and find yourself again.

Mayrhofen · 13/02/2019 19:41

Really Sarah? After reading this whole thread you would send them home to the ex with a Tupperware container saying Susie’s Shepherd’s pie? For the ex to eat and the step children to demand and expect?

O-M-F-G

BrexitIsComing · 13/02/2019 19:45

SarahRellyBoo1987 - why? Why should the OP cook meals for her nearly adult stepchildren to take back to their mother's house, to share with the mother? Why should she spend her time, money, effort on these people? Are they not capable of cooking for themselves? Or, heaven forbid, buying a ready meal?

Lunde · 13/02/2019 20:13

Oh dear OP I had such high hopes for you after you went to Croatia and ignored the bullying demands for a scratch Lasagna to be on the table for "his master's" return. But things seem to have moved on with your OH now bullying you into cooking for his ex's household as well. You DP truly thinks that you are his cook-housekeeper and now you have been "loaned" to his ex as a domestic servant! There is no respect for you at all! But your "D"P flatters your cooking and therefore manipulates you into being the "hired help" for the whole extended family.

You know that this has to stop and you need to find some self-respect! I think the kitchen needs to go on strike hopefully permanently so you can leave. Let DP, his ex and the teens cook their own dinners,

Lunde · 13/02/2019 20:19

BrexitIsComing - SarahRellyBoo1987 - why? Why should the OP cook meals for her nearly adult stepchildren to take back to their mother's house, to share with the mother?

I totally think that OP should back away from the whole family.

But part of me thinks that she could have quite a lot of fun sending these "Wagyu steak eating adolescents" with some totally random items in Tupperwares - tinned ravioli, Iceland value ready meals, black pudding, kippers .......

blessedmummyov5 · 13/02/2019 20:54

They all taking the piss my 12 yr old can follow a recipe from a book cook and dish it up , my 8 and 10 year old can do basic stuff on top of cooker scrambled eggs pancakes noodles reheating etc ...... just say no 😂easier said than done lol

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Email address

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

HeckyPeck · 13/02/2019 21:00

But part of me thinks that she could have quite a lot of fun sending these "Wagyu steak eating adolescents" with some totally random items in Tupperwares - tinned ravioli, Iceland value ready meals, black pudding, kippers

😂

strawberrisc · 13/02/2019 21:17

If this is all true then please do make one last pie. But watch “The Help” first...

TiggerSnooze · 13/02/2019 21:54

OP, is there a part of you that thinks you just need to do enough to prove your love to him and he'll change and start appreciating you?
He really won't. It will just be a new opportunity for him to redefine the 'normal' amount of work you do for him, and take advantage.
Make a constructive plan under the guise of 'how to get the kids doing more round the house' and preparing them more for adulthood /uni whatever (because it might be great for your partner for you to do everything, but it's really not doing the nearly-adult kids any favours and he can hardly deny that) and suggest agreeing a list of chores for everyone in the house, and maybe even a plan for others to cook some nights - even with your help. See how it goes down... I suspect you know the answer :/

Flip

1 2 ··· 6 7 8 9 10 11

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.