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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you’ve ever been flamed on AIBU?

299 replies

Calvinsmam · 09/12/2018 23:16

Just reading AIBU and wondering if you’ve ever been flamed for something you posted?

I once got crucified for sharing that I was tired from geting up in the night to let me cat drink from the tap. Grin It was my first time at the rodeo and I was a bit thin skinned about it.

I’ve been here years now and I couldn’t give a shit anymore.

What have you been flamed for??

OP posts:
LittleBirdBlues · 09/12/2018 23:19

I told somebody not to park on double yellows and she shouted at me in front of my kids and became borderline aggressive. But u got flamed because apparently I should mind my own business and I'm not the police.

For the record, it WAS my business because her shit parking meant I was forced to walk into a major road with my kids and their bikes. So there. GrinGin

Original poster
Calvinsmam · 09/12/2018 23:20

Oooooh a parking one. I bet that thread went on for ages too.

OP posts:
DayManChampionOfTheSun · 09/12/2018 23:21

A few years ago, before the big movements with TRAs etc, I was on a thread about a trabs woman I a toilet. The poster was shocked to see them there.

I said I didn't really give a shit about it as I probably wouldn't have noticed and got a proper battering Grin

Again, this was before the TWAW stuff and men being in women's prisons etc, when mumsnet had very very few trabs threads.

Bamchicabaawaa · 09/12/2018 23:23

Talking about the trans community
Particularly Asking where trans people are meant to go to the toilet - if they can’t go in there birth gender and they can’t go in their new gender do we just let them wet themselves?

I didn’t realise it was such a hot topic at the time. I didn’t know anything about public opinion- it was around the time of gender neutral toilets being on the TV news last year. I’ve learned my lesson.
MN will teach me many things - but this isn’t one.

I’ve been here a while too. I got trollhunted once when I was quite new. My relationship was really rough. And I knew sil was on here as she introduced me to MN - I didn’t want to be outed so I changed small details, eg ages out by a year or 2, holiday locations & geographical religions changed. I fucked it and I could’nt remember how old I’d said I was or whatnot - it was a nightmare

Don’t know now. I’m secure in my convictions and try and be respectful so it ddoesn’t happens much now

KeepServingTheDrinks · 09/12/2018 23:23

I have more than once (glutton for punishment, me!). I think they were under other names, though.

I also got quite ticked off on Style and Beauty (where they're usually REALLY kind), so I see that as quite an achievement.

Original poster
Calvinsmam · 09/12/2018 23:24
Wine

And you wouldn’t have even have known to bring your flame retardant vest.

OP posts:
Bamchicabaawaa · 09/12/2018 23:24

dayman glad it wasn’t just me though Grin

Original poster
Calvinsmam · 09/12/2018 23:26

Oh my goodness what on earth did you say to the style and beauty lot?

Did you say you don’t wear sunscreen?

OP posts:
Drogosnextwife · 09/12/2018 23:26

Me too keepservingthedrinks 😂

Original poster
Calvinsmam · 09/12/2018 23:28

My sister find me aaaaaaaall the time. I’ve had so many usernames and no matter what thread I’m in she’ll find me. Apparently I type in my voice Confused
Luckily I don’t say anything here that I wouldn’t say to her face.

I used to change bits in stories but I just name change now.

OP posts:
Littlebird88 · 09/12/2018 23:28

not for a post but a.comment about parking in parent and child spaces.
it was my first comment ever. different username

Original poster
Calvinsmam · 09/12/2018 23:29

Oh my goodness bird I’m surprised you got out of that alive.

OP posts:
Original poster
Calvinsmam · 09/12/2018 23:30

I’m desperate to know what you have to do to get flamed on style and beauty

OP posts:
hiddeneverythin · 09/12/2018 23:31

Not really but I got into a row from another poster on a thread for my comment not being long enough

DayManChampionOfTheSun · 09/12/2018 23:32

Bamchicabaawaa haha no not at all! It just comes out of no where too! Irl, no one I know ever mentions this stuff. So before Mn, I had zero idea about it being a thing, or that it would cause so much upset!

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 09/12/2018 23:37

Ive never started a thread on AIBU. As I wouldn't like to be told nor will I ever admit to being wrong.

Well there was this one time when I thought I might have been wrong but I was mistaken.Grin

GunpowderGelatine · 09/12/2018 23:45

I once posted on a thread about listening to music and using headphones at work, saying that I ran (at the time) a team of 3 other people in a small office where we need to be in constant communication with each other. I didn't allow headphones as I was sick of trying to get my team's attention especially when the work was fast paced and deadlines came round quickly. I also said if people need to work on more long-term projects in a quiet space we had a small office next door with a desk and keyboard they could work in, and headphones were fine there.

Boy did I get flamed. Apparently not allowing people headphones is a violation of human rights Confused and I was breaking the law because what if I employed someone with sensory issues. I said no one in the team has sensory issues - apparently it doesn't matter I had to make policies for if there ever was someone with them coming into the team (even though we seldom recruited) and otherwise I'm being ableist. So apparently I had to change the whole business model and change the department's effectiveness...all for a non-existent person.

Then others said there couldn't possibly be any job that required constant communication with others and I was obviously lying.

It was very very odd

KeepServingTheDrinks · 09/12/2018 23:45

I wasn't flamed exactly (they're all too stylish and beautiful to do that), but people were quite exasperated with me.

It was because my DD (16 at the time) wanted to dye her hair, so I'd brought a box of hair dye for her and it had sat around for a couple of days, and then she was suddenly "Let's do it NOW" and I quickly went onto S+B to ask for any advice about lightening hair. They weren't impressed with my "arrgh, I need to know NOW" attitude, and were all for patch testing and doing it at a salon.

Original poster
Calvinsmam · 09/12/2018 23:46

Well there was this one time when I thought I might have been wrong but I was mistaken. GrinGrin

I think sometimes people do it unwittingly

OP posts:
LondonLassInTheNorthPole · 09/12/2018 23:49

People here can be really nasty
Not just on AIBU the whole site, i should learn to keep my mouth closed really Shock BlushGrin

Keyboard warriors alot of them

GivingBloodFeelingGreat · 09/12/2018 23:50

I will never start a thread on here. Especially not on AIBU.

Going by some people's judgy attitudes, I think I'd rather drink a cup of cold sick.

Mumsnet is not the most helpful. There is no "community spirit" to it whatsoever.

incallthebloodytime · 09/12/2018 23:51

Under other usernames I have been flamed a few times

First I think I was new and annoyed someone touched my baby on a bus

Later many times when I didn't recognise I was in an abusive relationship but grateful for those now, hated you all at the time but eventually it got through

Once I was flamed and it ended up in classics - I saw the funny side in the end

And because I NC so much I have been flamed a few times where people think I'm new or someone else and I've said something fairly obvious or reasonable but people are sick of it and I haven't realised and haven't enough posting history under that name to prove that I'm a genuine long term poster - it always irks me to read long time MNer and then qualifying statements such as Korean lady, penis beaker or Pom bears though so I won't

Original poster
Calvinsmam · 09/12/2018 23:52

Mumsnet is not the most helpful. There is no "community spirit" to it whatsoever

Ahh that’s not fair! This place has helped some women through their darkest times.

OP posts:
Original poster
Calvinsmam · 09/12/2018 23:55

Wow! You ended up in classics incall??? I am not worthy of your Burns.

I get that about the name changes, but it’s also liberating in a way.

OP posts:
BruegeITheEIder · 09/12/2018 23:55

I've never started a thread on AIBU because I've never been U about anything in my life.