To ask if you’ve ever been flamed on AIBU?

[Calvinsmam]

Just reading AIBU and wondering if you’ve ever been flamed for something you posted?

I once got crucified for sharing that I was tired from geting up in the night to let me cat drink from the tap. It was my first time at the rodeo and I was a bit thin skinned about it.

I’ve been here years now and I couldn’t give a shit anymore.

What have you been flamed for??

[Whyarealltheusernamestaken]

A shit of kittens sounds painful, think of the razor like claws...

[PenelopeFlintstone]

I remember that too, ASAS and the word 'wild' - we say that all the time where I live, and not just about kids - "Oh, the new people in the village are a bit wild". They were relentless on there but I was new then and gobsmacked by it all.

I've been flamed but if I say what it was you'll probably all pile in on me again - so I won't.

[DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops]

I remember a few of you getting flamed for your pretty reasonable comments! I was very lucky that the one time I posted a thread, at a very low ebb, everyone was very gentle. I can think of 2 occasions where I've sniped slightly at the OP if they've really touched a nerve but no swearing or abuse or accusations or troll hunting. I am a bit at the vitriolic replies (including PMs) some of you have had.

I got flamed for saying that I didn't smile at small children on public transport/out and about if they seemed to be purposely seeking an audience. I cited the little American madam trying to loudly and continually pester 3 rows of passengers on the bus in Edinburgh despite getting zero engagement (love a happy, cute baby though). Got told I was a massive bell end, cruel, odd, mentally unbalanced and that I'd posted the most horrible post someone else had ever read. I concede I probably was a little dour, but OK...

[QueenofmyPrinces]

In my pre-children days with no experience of being a mother I came on and posted how sorry I felt for my friend’s two week old baby because she had him lain on a play mat instead of holding him. I said that I couldn’t understand how she could put him on there and that all I had wanted to do was scoop him up and show him so love

My post did not go down well

[Ragwort]

I’ve frequently been flamed for my views on having a GF routine and sleep training, I rarely post on those threads anymore & really don’t care if people think I am ‘cruel’, my DS (now a teenager) has always been an excellent sleeper & I honestly never had a disturbed night.

I believe that if you are confident in your views and opinions then it is quite easy to just ‘shrug off’ a flaming as ‘someone else’s opinion’ and not take it personally.

[MincePieMum]

I've name changed since, but took my then 4 yo trick or treating. I replied to someone else's post about kids trying door handles.

I commented very innocently and naively that my 4 yo had tried a door handle too. The door opened and a dog ran out, in to our very small and quiet cul de sac. We herded the dog back up and got him back in the house. All without the owner realising. I think they should have locked their door really. FLAMED!!

Apparently 4 year olds should be so closely supervised that they should not be able to move their arms or hands without being instantly bear hugged and impulse denied.

I failed to mention that the front door was up a very small path that had 2 steps in. And I'm a wheelchair user. I trusted 4 yo to be further than my arms could reach because he's been raised to be sensible, not run off etc. Massive drip feed for which I was also flamed.

[DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops]

Oh god, Im DC-free so very rarely weigh in there! That was proper head over the parapet, Queen! No excuse for some the ruder replies you likely got though!

I also do have a pretty outing hobby. I nc'd to post about it on the recent "no hobby is that niche" thread, found a fellow enthusiast from a different country in the UK, found a mutual hobbyist in common & found the MNer via fb in 5 min so case in point, I think. Anyway, it brings me into contact with some interesting & socially well connected people, so actually had some relevant comments to make on a Meghan Markle thread about their perceptions of her, without naming the hobby. As you can imagine, that went down a treat. Not just the sarcasm but the inverted snobbery to boot.

[IHeartKingThistle]

Posted when my 1 year old was poorly with chicken pox to ask if it was OK to take the day off to be with him even though the childminder said she'd take him. I'm a teacher.

I got utterly flamed, told I was a disgrace to my profession for even considering it. So I dropped my sobbing, spotty baby off and went to work. I have always regretted it.

A few weeks later someone posted an almost identical thread and was told family comes first, stay with your baby, no job is that important etc. It's when I started taking everything on here with a pinch of salt.

[rainbowquack]

As a newbie I once posted my thoughts on the breast feeding incentives and was handed my arse on a platter.

Thankfully HQ deleted it.

Now I namechange regularly, and stay well away from
BF threads (unless someone is asking for support).

[Gwenhwyfar]

"And they complain that you don’t have lamps for your guests despite having never met you or been invited to your house. "

To be fair, there's a bit of a back story in that I wanted some threads which had what they considered to be 'disablist comments' in them to be kept open and not deleted. So they go from that to me being disablist myself, even though I never made any of the offending comments and add to that my lack of bedside lamp makes me a heartless bitch.

[Pinkyyy]

I always wonder if there's ever been an AIBU about someone, and the person who is was about has seen and replied

[rainbowquack]

@Pinkyyy there was, in the last year! I can't remember the details though. I think HQ deleted that too x

[DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops]

@Pinkyyy pretty sure that has happened a couple of times for real and a few more times engineered. I seem to recall someone complaining about her cousin & their badly behaved DC or similar and within about 15 replies got a "that's not the whole story and you know it, Linda" type post.

[Pinkyyy]

@rainbowquack I knew I'd had to have happened at some point 😂 wonder if anyone remembers it?...

[Pinkyyy]

@DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops I can only imagine what it would be like! Buy agree that a troll with 2 accounts would probably do that

[DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops]

@Pinkyyy - the one I saw definitely involved a name check and seemed to be real.

There was one from someone who was very precious about baby clothes & her immaculate white washing though. Then a few months later one that seemed to be from someone who knew her, complaining about her. People remembered and linked them but it was suggested that it was a very long-game playing troll, I think it possibly was?

[MRSMARMITE3]

Not on mum's net but on another group I posted about keeping my 5 year old off school for a day as I had tonsillitis and it takes an hour to walk him there. I got flamed with people saying it's my job, its only tonsillitis, the fresh air will do me good etc. I wouldn't have minded but someone else posted about keeping their child off to take them on holiday and everyone said to do it (!) So it's ok to take your child off if you want to save money but not if you're ill

[Awwlookatmybabyspider]

I've noticed that too, Iheartkingthistle
That 2 of the same types of threads can go completely different ways. You must have felt resentful that she was given support and you were dragged over the coals. I hate the one rule for one and another rule for another.
I certainly would not let a load of strangers dictate to me what I should and shouldn't, do though

[peachgreen]

I've posted twice on AIBU (under name changes) and expected to be flamed to death both times but actually people were really kind. The second time especially, I posted almost hoping for a flaming because I was in a really self-destructive place and felt I deserved it (very bad PND). Actually the support I got really helped me through what was a very difficult time.

I think in general AIBU is quite fair, although people do like to be contrary and I've also noticed that posters who make spelling or grammar mistakes are more likely to be flamed!

[Jengnr]

I posted once, as a very new mother, being shocked that I couldn’t get Boots points on formula. The cashier said ‘It’s because they want you to breastfeed’.

I had no idea about the WHO thingy or how miliant some people are on here about certain subjects. I was just pissed off that a) the Government think it’s ok to make that decision for women and b) there was an extra £50 added to my monthly food bill that wouldn’t get points.

A couple of people took the time to explain the reasoning behind it and ,whilst I don’t agree with it, I get it and am grudgingly ok with it. (I just hate Nestlé even more)

Most people, however, seemed to consider it an attack on breastfeeding or ‘why should you get something for CHOOSING* to ff? Bfing mothers get NOTHING!!!’

‘Well yes, because there is no outlay, breast milk is free’
‘What about all the additional food bf mothers need?’
‘They get points on that!’
‘You don’t get points on cigarettes or the lottery either’
‘Yep, that’s the same’

I threw the towel in in the end, you can’t reason with a collective of crazy.

*nobody ever asked if it was a choice.

[Calvinsmam]

I think in general AIBU is quite fair,

Oh I love it. No shade to AIBU at all.

I’ve had some amazing support here and I have seen some really beautiful things.
But also been flamed.

[dancinginthehall]

Yes, lots of times, and it is one of the reasons I namechange frequently.

I have no problem with someone disagreeing with me in a reasonable way, but it is sooo annoying when someone doesn't read your post properly, or completely misunderstands it and then a load of posters start agreeing with them and flaming you for something you never actually said.

I also cannot stand posters making rude and personal comments to others, or dragging up their posting history and will usually step in when I see that.

[NameChanger22]

I have and some people were quite nasty. I didn't let it bother me though. Lots of people aren't very nice or helpful on here.

[OverTheHedgeSammy]

Since my accidental posting and pasting (I'm entirely unreasonable to brainwash my DC by taking them to church with me apparently - although the question was actually about taking them to a different church which had services at a different time to enable a new sport) I don't give a damn anymore and if I see someone getting a pasting I will often get onto the thread and tell everyone they're being utterly ridiculous. If nothing else it deflects some of the vitriol away from the poor OP and to my direction. 'Only on MN' is a frequent refrain...!!!

[CruCru]

Yes, I've had a couple of pastings. One was particularly bad - the thread got deleted and one kind soul PMed me to ask if I was okay.

I was a bit taken aback but after a bit decided that I could be philosophical about it. I do sometimes wonder about the people who are a bit more vulnerable though.