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Original poster

Friend ghosted me and then suddenly appeared again 4 years later

444 replies

Dogmum94 · 22/10/2018 11:59

More of a WWYD really. We met in nursery and were childhood friends, our parents also became friends and would take turns doing school runs/childcare etc. Spent all the school holidays together and most nights after school we would take turns going to each others house. Remained friends through primary/junior/secondary school and all through college as well. After college we did drift apart a bit but still kept in contact and would text every few weeks or so. My parents are still very good friends with hers and see each other regularly.
Around 4 years ago, I went to message her and she had blocked my number, and also Facebook and all other social media. I mentioned it to my parents and hers but nobody really knew anything and she then moved abroad to go travelling with her boyfriend for a few years.
I got engaged earlier this year, and can only assume either her family or one of our mutual friends has mentioned it to her. The other day I woke up to a message on Facebook from her, she had unblocked me and added me as a friend, and scrolled all the way through my Facebook to find the engagement announcement (bare in mind that was a few months ago so quite a few things to scroll through). She commented on it saying how happy she was for me and she’s so pleased her childhood friend is getting married. She can’t wait to be there to celebrate on the big day and be my bridesmaid like we always used to talk about when we were younger Confused
She’s being a CF isn’t she? Hmm

OP posts:
ElspethFlashman · 22/10/2018 12:01

Block her. That'll send the biggest message at all, without saying a word.

Cheeky mare.

Nopuns · 22/10/2018 12:02

Yes .

AnneLovesGilbert · 22/10/2018 12:03

Yes, yes she is.

That's insane.

Figgygal · 22/10/2018 12:03

What a cheeky mare was wanting to get back in contact and apologise for your behaviour quite another to think she can waltz back in and start planning your hen do

Tell her to fuck off

ohfourfoxache · 22/10/2018 12:03

Delete and block - she sounds a bit unhinged tbh

Aprilislonggone · 22/10/2018 12:04

Send her a pic of the most hideous bm dress you can find - ask her which size you should order for her?!
Watch her withdraw her kind offer!

SuperGekkoMuscles · 22/10/2018 12:05

Yes she’s a CF! But I would message something suitable back. Or just ‘wtf?’

I wouldn’t invite her either.

44PumpLane · 22/10/2018 12:05

Just reply to her and ask her why she has disappeared for 4 years and where she thinks that falls within those childhood plans you made;?!

LavenderBush · 22/10/2018 12:06

Fucking hell, is this real?!

Delete and block.

Original poster
Dogmum94 · 22/10/2018 12:07

I did think about blocking her, but then that makes me as bad as her doesn't it? And I almost don't want her to get a reaction from me so I have just ignored it so far, and left the friend request as pending so I haven't declined her but haven't responded either

OP posts:
Original poster
Dogmum94 · 22/10/2018 12:08

@LavenderBush definitely real! It's been on my mind ever since about how weird it is and who in their right mind would think that's normal to just appear again and act as if nothing ever happened!?

OP posts:
Original poster
Dogmum94 · 22/10/2018 12:09

The weirdest thing is we didn't even fall out at all so it made even less sense when she blocked me, at least if I had done something wrong I would have understood!

OP posts:
Thebluedog · 22/10/2018 12:09

I would t waste anymore headspace in her. Ignore and block.

I had a friend do exactly the same to me. She reappeared on fb about 5 years later and added me, started commenting on my photos like nothing had happened. I keep my distance from here now, but luckily she’s not been as cheeky as your friend. I think I might have had a few choice words to say if she had. But in your case, take the moral high ground, as you know she’ll have a bs excuse and simply don’t engage

LavenderBush · 22/10/2018 12:10

Errr no, it doesn't make you as bad as her in any way, because she did it to you first, out of the blue. And then on top of that she came back years later with a cf message assuming she was going to be your bridesmaid?!

I think you are right not to want to give her a reaction; I wouldn't reply or accept her friend request, but I would still delete and block. Or at the very least alter my privacy settings so that she can't see or comment on my social media.

CheddarIsNotTheOnlyCheese · 22/10/2018 12:11

I was bf's with my friend. From us being young teens. We moved in together and she moved her long distance fella in without asking. For 6 months he tried to belittle and bully me and she never stopped him. I decided to move on. I met my future dh and was sick of sitting in my bedroom out of their way. She cried when I said I was leaving but after that day I didn't set eyes on her for another 12 years. She got in contact. She apologised. Told me that she missed me and could we be friends again? I appreciated the fact that she held her hands up and got in contact. So I gave her another chance. It was like no time had passed. We still liked what the other liked and new music, films, books, tv released since we stopped talking too. She became like an aunt to my kids. But then she meets a new bloke. I've not laid eyes on the fickle bitch since Christmas 2016.

Aeroflotgirl · 22/10/2018 12:11

Very rude and cheeky. No apology or explanation.just leave it pending and ignore.

Akanamali · 22/10/2018 12:11

If she'd messaged you privately to apologise and explain I'd hear her out but her comment shows she has absolutely no self awareness. I'd probably just delete the comment and block her.

AwdBovril · 22/10/2018 12:12

I'd just ask why she's decided to get back in contact now after she'd blocked you for 4 years. Be blunt. When / if she replies, tell her you've accepted the situation & moved on, & won't be needing any (more) bridesmaids. Then block. Honesty is often best, especially if you've got the moral high ground.

AtrociousCircumstance · 22/10/2018 12:13

Did she block you, or just delete Facebook for a while?

AtrociousCircumstance · 22/10/2018 12:14

Sorry I’ve just reread that she blocked you on everything. Yes she’s a CF.

A full explanation and apology would be the only way to get you to consider even writing a reply. The bridesmaid thing isn’t going to happen.

Original poster
Dogmum94 · 22/10/2018 12:15

@AtrociousCircumstance definitely blocked me, as she was still friends on there with my mum, brother and auntie

OP posts:
bowdownbeforelokitty · 22/10/2018 12:16

Sounds like she's headed back home and thinks this is a good way to slot back into her old life. Tell her to jog on.

Waspnest · 22/10/2018 12:16

I'd just ignore the friend request and tighten my privacy so she couldn't see my posts. If she was really keen to explain/apologise presumably she could do it via her parents/your parents?

hammeringinmyhead · 22/10/2018 12:18

I'd just reply with "Why did you block me on all forms of communication and social media?".

Unicornandbows · 22/10/2018 12:18

I'd ask why she had blocked you and see what she responds about it and then proceed that you don't feel you want to continue the friendship as that's not normal..