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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friend ghosted me and then suddenly appeared again 4 years later

444 replies

Dogmum94 · 22/10/2018 11:59

More of a WWYD really. We met in nursery and were childhood friends, our parents also became friends and would take turns doing school runs/childcare etc. Spent all the school holidays together and most nights after school we would take turns going to each others house. Remained friends through primary/junior/secondary school and all through college as well. After college we did drift apart a bit but still kept in contact and would text every few weeks or so. My parents are still very good friends with hers and see each other regularly.
Around 4 years ago, I went to message her and she had blocked my number, and also Facebook and all other social media. I mentioned it to my parents and hers but nobody really knew anything and she then moved abroad to go travelling with her boyfriend for a few years.
I got engaged earlier this year, and can only assume either her family or one of our mutual friends has mentioned it to her. The other day I woke up to a message on Facebook from her, she had unblocked me and added me as a friend, and scrolled all the way through my Facebook to find the engagement announcement (bare in mind that was a few months ago so quite a few things to scroll through). She commented on it saying how happy she was for me and she’s so pleased her childhood friend is getting married. She can’t wait to be there to celebrate on the big day and be my bridesmaid like we always used to talk about when we were younger Confused
She’s being a CF isn’t she? Hmm

OP posts:
EnglishRose13 · 02/11/2018 08:09

Had you started to drift?!

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 02/11/2018 08:16

But she dudn’t drift away with your parents?

TheDodgyDunnyOfDoom · 02/11/2018 08:21

Whaaaat? Lame. Really lame. Blaming you for having a nice life her shitty behaviour.

I wouldn't dignify that with a response OP

Pinkyyy · 02/11/2018 08:46

Well any friend of mine who'd rather block me than see me happy, wouldn't be a friend at all. She sounds like everything has to be all about her and I have no doubt she would be a bridesmaid from hell

itswinetime · 02/11/2018 09:19

She blocked you with out warning or explanation because she felt you were drifting! What a keeper. Gets back in touch right as she's about to return after a long period abroad I'm sure that is completely without ulterior motives!!

Hissy · 02/11/2018 09:20

Yep, she sees your wedding as a function she can use to get all her friends back.

Like as not she'd be all pally pally with you, potentially hijack the wedding/reception anyway, and then when she's got the circle she wants is just as likely to drop you again.

Keep it cool, kind of 'thanks for letting me know' and leave it there.

badirene · 02/11/2018 09:20

Wow she really is a CF! She just expects to rock up at your wedding, slot back into her old life and regale everyone with her stories about travelling and all be A-OK, cut her loose.

Hissy · 02/11/2018 09:20

Countess reply is absolutely on point

Whocansay · 02/11/2018 09:29

What they all said. What a self-absorbed cow!

FatNoMorePat · 02/11/2018 09:57

Enjoying life without her! She’s a CF who wanted to cut everyone off whilst she was away so she didn’t have to bother anymore and she’s trying to make amends now so she can slide in to her old life when she gets back.

@7yo7yo has the perfect response.. sorry you felt that way all the best for the future

klondike555 · 02/11/2018 10:53

She's a complete tosspot. Just ignore, block and move on.

toherdoor · 02/11/2018 12:25

She didn't have to block you though did she. She didn't just delete you so she wasn't seeing your stuff, she went to the trouble of blocking you so you couldn't even look her up.

MarilynsDressOnAVent · 02/11/2018 12:30

I've had this happen to me too. Best friends, closer than sisters. Suddenly dropped me, didn't answer calls, messages or texts and then even refused to come to the phone, I heard her whisper "I'm not here!" to her parents on the phone when I once called there knowing she was visiting. We had never fallen out. There was no reason for the dumping.

I moved on. She kept my DM and DSis on her FB friend's list but not me (nosiness presumably). Years later I got a birthday text to which I replied, "Thanks. Who's this?" Of course I knew. She apologised for losing contact but didn't say why other than how we had drifted apart. I replied politely and we spoke for a few days then poof! Gone again.
Another year later I was contacted again as if nothing happened. I played along, never really getting a satisfactory explanation and again, POOF! Gone again. No replies.

9 months later she sent me an FB request and message. I replied, we caught up a little for a few weeks and like a magicians's handkerchief, she disappeared again.

Another year or so later she pulled that shit again.

These days it's a betting game between DH and I on how many days she will take to drop me again, I only respond merely for our amusement. I have no interest in her friendship. It does hurt but fuck that bitch.

OP, if you don't want her in your life then definitely tell her you're sorry that she would rather block and ignore you than see you happy and as such, of course, her coming to your wedding couldn't be any more of an insult.

BewareOfDragons · 02/11/2018 16:03

Tell her to let you know when she's back in town and maybe you can catch up a bit over coffee/tea after your wedding. As for your wedding, you're sorry (not sorry), but only close family and loved ones are being invited.

I doubt you'll hear from her again, personally.

Aeroflotgirl · 02/11/2018 17:04

Oh god Marilyn, she sounds like she has some serious issues, I would just cut the cord on that, I personally have no time for crap like that.

TheClitterati · 02/11/2018 19:01

shes def back in touch cause she's heard you are getting married and she wants a front row seat as bridesmaid.

rainbowquack · 02/11/2018 19:14

Life is too short to be around people who are anything other than happy for you. I think it's best that we leave it here. Good luck in all your future endeavors.

Don't block but definitely don't engage.

SezziBaybee · 09/11/2018 13:03

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the request of the poster.

liverbird10 · 09/11/2018 19:48

A penpal once wrote to me, "Sorry I haven't been in touch for 5 years. I've been rather busy." Confused

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