Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friend ghosted me and then suddenly appeared again 4 years later

444 replies

Dogmum94 · 22/10/2018 11:59

More of a WWYD really. We met in nursery and were childhood friends, our parents also became friends and would take turns doing school runs/childcare etc. Spent all the school holidays together and most nights after school we would take turns going to each others house. Remained friends through primary/junior/secondary school and all through college as well. After college we did drift apart a bit but still kept in contact and would text every few weeks or so. My parents are still very good friends with hers and see each other regularly.
Around 4 years ago, I went to message her and she had blocked my number, and also Facebook and all other social media. I mentioned it to my parents and hers but nobody really knew anything and she then moved abroad to go travelling with her boyfriend for a few years.
I got engaged earlier this year, and can only assume either her family or one of our mutual friends has mentioned it to her. The other day I woke up to a message on Facebook from her, she had unblocked me and added me as a friend, and scrolled all the way through my Facebook to find the engagement announcement (bare in mind that was a few months ago so quite a few things to scroll through). She commented on it saying how happy she was for me and she’s so pleased her childhood friend is getting married. She can’t wait to be there to celebrate on the big day and be my bridesmaid like we always used to talk about when we were younger Confused
She’s being a CF isn’t she? Hmm

OP posts:
Dogmum94 · 27/10/2018 11:40

@BitOutOfPractice it’s the same thing isn’t it.

OP posts:
Dogmum94 · 27/10/2018 11:41

@SuperGekkoMuscles they do yes, although I’m not sure if they know she’s been back in contact. My parents know so I don’t know whether they’ve mentioned it to them or not

OP posts:
WhyAreWeddingsSoAwks · 27/10/2018 17:31

Side topic:

Don’t let your parents or PILs give anyone an invite that you don’t want to.

My PILs harped on about about how they had all of their parents friends at their wedding and virtually no choices of their own... that’s because their parents paid for the entire thing and they were 21. Grin We’re mid thirties and paying all of it ourselves so everyone else can bugger off!!!

crispysausagerolls · 27/10/2018 18:14

oliviastabler

I disagree - if someone really, really offended you, you might remove them from your life, and after a time decide to let go and start again. Would be odd, but not unfeasible.

OliviaStabler · 28/10/2018 08:44

crispysausagerolls

I disagree - if someone really, really offended you, you might remove them from your life, and after a time decide to let go and start again. Would be odd, but not unfeasible.

I disagree. Very few people would act as if nothing had happened 4 years later. They'd at least try and address the incident.

cushionsgalore · 28/10/2018 10:32

How odd! I've had a friend ghost me a few years ago (although I could take a good guess at why). If she tried to get in contact now I'd be gobsmacked!

TheDodgyDunnyOfDoom · 28/10/2018 12:52

Have you heard from your weird and errant ex friend yet OP?

DannyWallace · 28/10/2018 12:59

I know I only replied once, but I feel like I got way too invested in this 😂. Desperate to know what the friend was thinking??!

Ninabean17 · 29/10/2018 18:13

Have you heard back from her, op?

NuttierThanSquirrelShit · 01/11/2018 14:06

Did she reply, OP?

TheDodgyDunnyOfDoom · 01/11/2018 15:14

Ha ha. Just dashed to the end to see if there's an update from the OP. Friend is probably too embarrassed to answer and realises what a shit friend she has been maybe?

Dogmum94 · 02/11/2018 07:03

Sorry for the late update guys, she’s just replied this morning!
Basically said she blocked me cus she was sad we had drifted a bit and she didn’t want to see me enjoying life without her Hmm
And how she doesn’t want to waste all the years of our friendship and life is too short etc etc
Not what I was expecting!

OP posts:
FesteringCarbuncle · 02/11/2018 07:10

Wow. She's arrogant isn't she
Calls all the shots and expects you to follow. Please say she will not be welcomed back into your life

Alfie190 · 02/11/2018 07:12

I would ignore, but you definitely need to sort your settings as somebody you are not friends with should not be able to access your posts.

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 02/11/2018 07:35

I’d block her now tbh. You don’t want her seeing you enjoy your life without her Hmm
If you want you could first m reply “that’s OK, let’s leave it :-)
Cheeky cow!

MrDonut · 02/11/2018 07:36

She sounds really self-absorbed. [shocked]

7yo7yo · 02/11/2018 07:41

What a load of shit!
She’s moving back and is trying to pick up
The threads of her old life at your wedding. Ideal time to see old friends etc.
Tell her your sorry she felt that way (non apology) but it’s too late. She hurt you too badly. She’ll always be your friend but you and she have moved on and you’d prefer to keep it like that.

RedTulip86 · 02/11/2018 07:42

What a crap excuse on her side. Spare her the pain of seeing you enjoying your life and cut her off.
True friends are happy for you and enjoy your life along with you as they ARE the part of life and joy to have.
Looks like her jealousy of friends being happy without her is backfiring and she doesn’t know how or where to move.Sad.

Aeroflotgirl · 02/11/2018 07:43

What a lame excuse, that is no way to treat a friend, then to do this and expect to slot right back into your life just like that, going to your wedding and be your bridesmaid. I would just keep her at arms length. She might do that again.

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 02/11/2018 07:51

Bollocks. She’s a charmer isn’t she.

I’d go with 7yo7yo. Let her know she can’t just drop you and pick you up when it suits her.

The non apology ‘sorry you feel this way’ is perfect for this situation.

ReadMyLipss · 02/11/2018 07:58

That really sounds like made up crap that she had to cobble together. She was hardly going to say that she didn't like you anymore and wanted nothing more to do with you, but now that she's coming home again she needs friends to hang out with.

Nobody blocks people for that reason, especially considering she was the one heading off travelling and would be out there doing the exciting things without you.

ContessaGoesMarchingDOWNTOHELL · 02/11/2018 08:03

"Oh dear - it's a shame you felt that way and didn't say anything, maybe we could have sorted things out then. Anyway, good luck with everything - take care xxx"

Send this (or similar) to the cheeky/self-absorbed/disingenuous cow.

PaulHollywoodsSexGut · 02/11/2018 08:03

@7yo7yo has it bang on.

This girl is a piss taker.

Aeroflotgirl · 02/11/2018 08:06

ContessaGoes reply is great.

Etino · 02/11/2018 08:07

After her reply, I’d answer ‘let’s meet up when you’re back and see where it goes from there then.’
You might feel different when you see her.