To want to sit in the front seat....?

[PineapplePrincess]

Since DS was a baby, either me or DH has sat in the back seat of the car with him.

Made sense when he was a baby, but DS is now four.

DH is still pretty insistent that I sit in the back seat, mostly to ensure he stays awake during the car ride and not disturb with the bedtime schedule. But can insist at times that doesn’t impact bedtime, as apparently it’s just ‘easier that way’.

If I refuse, he’s been known to leave me in the passenger seat and for him to sit in the back - forcing me to move to drivers seat. My point is that DS is now old enough to sit in the back alone, so him moving is not helping.

DS has now got use to someone sitting with him all the time, and can become insistent that someone does too.

AIBU?

This is ridiculous, just say no. A 4yo can't dictate what you do?

Your dh is insane! I’d leave your dh to it if he wants to continue this silly routine.

How on earth do you manage if just one of you is taking ds out?

So do neither of you ever take your son in the car without the other one being in the car too?

Presumably when there’s only one of you there he sits alone?

Is your dh usually such an arse?

I’d drive all the time if he’s going to be so insistent.

Madness! What happens if you have to drive somewhere alone with DS? Surely he does just fine alone?

Do you go to everywhere together?! What happens when there is only one adult? Yanbu to want to change this!

Also curious about solo trips...

This is ridiculous! You need to speak to him at a time when you aren't about to get in the car and find out what the real reason behind this is. Maybe he is particularly anxious and thinks son will be safer with someone with him? What happens if you don't all go out together? One parent drives and son in the back? So why does someone need to be with him in the back just because you're all going out together?

X-post with lots of others all wondering the same!

Also - don’t worry about car naps. In my experience they don’t count as sleep and don’t upset bedtime routine.

Say Waht ? I mean What ?

Your DH is being very weird
The vast majority of the time I drive without DH but even when DH is around we both sit in the front so the kids are 'alone' in the back
They are fine - in fact they spend most of the journeys NEVER SHUTTING UP! I wish the back was slightly further away.
DS1 likes to ask difficult questions like 'why is there war?' And DS2 just likes to point out and be acknowledged for, every car, lorry, digger, cloud, bird, blade of sodding grass! Etc
For us sleeping in the car doesn't disrupt bedtime routine in fact it helps if they are very tired. If they get too tired in the day they sleep worse at night.
DS1 always used to sleep in the car DS2 only if he's knackered, in which case he needs it.
Have you pointed out to DH that other people don't do this and asked why he thinks it's reasonable?

Seriously?!
Ha ha ha ha ha.
He’s bonkers, sorry, not helpful.

That’s bonkers. Has your DH got anxiety issues?

Why can’t you just give him the CBeebies app on a phone to play with to keep him awake if it’s that big a deal that he doesn’t nap? Or keep talking to him from the front?

Not taking your opinion into account and getting into the back anyway isn’t a good sign. It sounds like he likes to get his own way regardless.Is he as controlling in other ways too?
It’s very odd behaviour, if I prevented my kids from having a little snooze when they were tired ( i mean a little one) they got so upset & overtired it made things more difficult?

What other things does your dh indulge your ds in? He sounds over anxious. Your dh, not your ds. Ds is just taking advantage of the situation. You can't blame him.

He's insane OP and you are too for going along with it.

Sit in the front seat and don't move.

This is so ridiculous it cannot be true!

What a gobshite 😂

Gosh, we used to sit in the back with dc as a baby, to comfort, feed bottles, notice nappy-filling, deal with sick or whatever. Once they can talk, have an idea of what a car journey is and can take things you pass to them, there's no need.

Thanks of the replies, glad it’s not just me that thinks this arrangement is slightly bonkers.

Solo trips DS is in the back with me or DH driving. These tend to be during the week and short in distance 5-10mins, so no issue there. Although DH has the car seat in the front of his car, so DS usually beside him.

Weekends are more problematic, both me and DH in the car and we tend to drive for 30mins to an hour.

@CanineEnigma - DS usually has the iPad to entertain him, so back seat attendance is not for entertainment. But can need help with usage times (or drop a toy and insist it’s picked up immediately) which can obviously be easier if someone is in the back with him.

@DidimusStench - no anxiety issues, but is generally quite over-protective of DS and tends to prioritise DS needs above all else at times.

That’s ridiculous! At 4 he’s fine alone.