To want to sit in the front seat....?

[PineapplePrincess]

Since DS was a baby, either me or DH has sat in the back seat of the car with him.

Made sense when he was a baby, but DS is now four.

DH is still pretty insistent that I sit in the back seat, mostly to ensure he stays awake during the car ride and not disturb with the bedtime schedule. But can insist at times that doesn’t impact bedtime, as apparently it’s just ‘easier that way’.

If I refuse, he’s been known to leave me in the passenger seat and for him to sit in the back - forcing me to move to drivers seat. My point is that DS is now old enough to sit in the back alone, so him moving is not helping.

DS has now got use to someone sitting with him all the time, and can become insistent that someone does too.

AIBU?

He's four FGS, he doesn't need an adult or even an I-Pad in the back

From your latest post, it's clear that you also think it's ridiculous, and aren't pandering to a four year old.

But your dh is, and as has been pointed out, spoiling a child does them no long term favours whatsoever.

So, practical solutions.
Have you ever queried with your dh why he thinks nobody else, in the entire world ever, would sit in the back with a four yr old, to entertain them? Does he think every other parent is doing it wrong?
From now on, don't entertain the idea of sitting in the back. It's ridiculous. Just don't do it. And don't drive either. Put your foot down.

I would hazard a guess that the reason your child is a shit sleeper is because he's been pandered to. Someone has rushed to his every whimper or little moan from day 1, and now he can't deal with anything out of the ordinary life throws at him.
Both my kids and myself rather enjoy a little car nap, a little extra chance for day dreaming. We get where we're going, then get on with life.

Anyway, why can't you engage with him/tickle or prod him from the front seat?
That's what I used to do.

Yesterday DD13 feel asleep in the car following a day out, will you still be in the back with your DS then?

Sorry about your miscarriages
My initial thought was also wtf is he thinking, but that puts a slightly different perspective on it - could he just be being ridiculously overprotective of ds? How is he with other things, say in parks, climbing frames etc?

DH is still pretty insistent that I sit in the back seat,

You are an adult, it's not his choice. If he wants somebody in the back seat with your DS then tell him to sit in the back and you drive. Is he always this unreasonable/controlling?

Absolute madness! Your DH sounds like a bloody nightmare.
I'd insist on doing all the driving if he thinks it's so important to have someone next to your DS. Let him do it!
Jeez.

I had five non-sleepers for whom five minutes nap in the car meant being up all night (I used to plan stops during drives home from town an hour away, so they could get out and run about/get fresh air to stop naps). But once your DS is at school they start to cope better with sleeping - my lot were fine once they learned to read. They might not be asleep in their rooms but they would be quiet and reading.

I used to poke and prod from the front but couldn't reach the two in the very back row of seats...

Can you point out to DH when you're in something like a supermarket car park how literally every other couple sit in the front, with the children in the back?

I dont even live in the same country as my husband and we are separated by a seige which means we can't meet very often. I miss him a lot but not because I need to be told where to sit!
He is not normal. Men like that make me sick. Tell him to grow a pair of balls and get a hobby. Sad twat.

Some people make parenting seem so unenjoyable

Why does he need an iPad for every journey. Take the iPad off him and engage with him. Play Eye Spy, look for cars of a certain colour the kind of thing we did as kids. That'll be far more effective than poking and tickling him

Absolutely Redglitter

Sorry OP, but your DH is being absolutely ridiculous. My SIL was like this. She refused to drive after having her DD. Her DH was forced to drive everywhere and she would sit in the back because she needed to hold DD's neck because "it might snap if we went over a pothole"

@TheBlueDot

Are you as parents in charge of your household or is your 4 year old?

This is not the child's fault it's the parents issue. They've always sat in the back with the child, he's used to it and will now feel deprived! That's the parents fault!

Okay, so three car journeys today... One to the shops (10-15mins), one between shops (

I don't often say this but show him this thread?

@Flyme21, thought about that but not sure if he’d flip out. 🤪

Your dh is an oddball isn’t he? Why is he persisting with this weirdness?
Stop it!

Have you tried kids songs, stories or music in the car to keep him entertained? We have a thing in the car where we take turns to choose your song.

I spy if he knows letters or who can spot the red car etc

All this will keep him awake for a short time. Plus it Makes a change from iPads and at 4 he will start to have his own tastes in music or stories etc

You need to change your methods as your son grows up. Are you going to be sat next to him when he is 18?

Pineapple you have the patience of a saint.
Don’t give up on dc2 by the way, many people on here have had rmcs - I had 4 - and gone on to have a baby. Look at the rmc threads on here if you haven’t already, great for advice on tests and doctors.

And why ignore the questions about the iPad?

You're actively encouraging him to stick his face in a screen, instead of engage with the world around him and encourage him to spot different things in the scenery. It's just odd. Most of us are trying to limit screen time as much as possible, and you five it to your kid every time he's in the car?

I can't believe your husband did that today... He sounds like a loon. I'd start refusing to go anywhere with him until he stops. Your kid is never going to grow up if he keeps acting like he's a baby.

When your DH feels compelled to sit with his son even for a 5 minute journey, he really has got things way out of proportion. TBH, in your shoes when he sat in the back I'd have left him to it and gone back into the house. It doesn't sound like that was a trip that needed the presence of all three of you.

I really can't see the big deal about the iPad. It's a perfectly legitimate way of occupying a child on a journey. When I was a child my parents used to leave me with books, the principle's the same.

@Bibesia

Books help development. Screen time, mostly, does not. We're having it drummed into us to limit screen time... And you're saying it's just the same as books?

Children need to learn to be bored. If he can't sit for 20 or so minutes without something dancing infront of his face, then he's going to have an even harder time in school. It's just one of those things... They need to know how to use their imagination, learn to occupy themselves etc. It is a life skill they will need.

OP just stop letting him dictate like this! Why did you let it happen again today? You should have refused to drive, there doesn’t need to be a scene, just calmly refuse. If he makes a scene then go back in the house.