To want to sit in the front seat....?

[PineapplePrincess]

Since DS was a baby, either me or DH has sat in the back seat of the car with him.

Made sense when he was a baby, but DS is now four.

DH is still pretty insistent that I sit in the back seat, mostly to ensure he stays awake during the car ride and not disturb with the bedtime schedule. But can insist at times that doesn’t impact bedtime, as apparently it’s just ‘easier that way’.

If I refuse, he’s been known to leave me in the passenger seat and for him to sit in the back - forcing me to move to drivers seat. My point is that DS is now old enough to sit in the back alone, so him moving is not helping.

DS has now got use to someone sitting with him all the time, and can become insistent that someone does too.

AIBU?

Your son really shouldn't be sitting in the front when your DH is driving him alone, because of the air bag. Point that out to him.

wow - is this real? Your dh is way over the top

Four year olds should not be in the front seat unless the air bag has been deactivated.

Seriously, people actually sit in the back with their babies? I never knew this.

You DH is selfish and endangering your DS by having him sit in the front. Back seat is much safer than passenger seat.

30 minutes to an hour is totally not a problem for a child to sit ‘alone’ in the back.

Your DH is babying him. It won’t end well if he carries on. Does he baby him in other ways too? School must be looming - can he do all the things independently he needs to do for school?

Take a bus or the train. Too complicated. Sounds like musical chairs, ridiculous.

Your 4 year old "insists" you pick up a dropped toy immediately?

Sit in the front. If he gets in the back with ds. Get out of the car. Go back in the house. This has to stop.

Beyond weird. Bet there is more. What other ridiculous things does he do?

@Bibesia - airbag is deactivated. We had great discussion at the time (I wasn’t overly enthusiastic at the idea either). DH spoke to Mothercare and manufacturer of car seat before buying it to ensure it was suitable for front seat usage.

DS obviously loves being in the front seat, and will chose DH taking him to nursery rather than me just to sit at the front.

Bonkers

"Sit in the front. If he gets in the back with ds. Get out of the car. Go back in the house. "

Absolutely.

Your husband can sit where he wants when you are driving-as can you when he is driving.

@WowlLookAtYou - yep can be pretty insistent in a way only four year olds can.

Doesn’t mean we do it. But obviously a screaming kid when you’re driving is not ideal.

Regardless of the air bag being deactivated, the back seat is safer than the front seat in a car.

That's utterly, utterly mad.

Madness.

Your DH is infantilizing your child and thinks that his decisions re raising your child are the only way. Why does he get to be the ultimate decision maker without discussion?

I would suggest counselling with you and your DH

You are both insane. Nobody sits in the back of the car with their kids. Nobody need to pick up stuff he drops. Nobody needs to stop him napping in the car. Your DP sounds like a total control freak and a bit of a nutjob.

The pair of you are pandering to him. He’s 4, he can wait 5 minutes for a toy to be picked up. And why is 30-60 minutes “more problematic”?!

He’s FOUR, he can sit in the back by himself for an hour. Good grief

What would you do if you had any more children?

Trust me, I know all about 4 year olds.
You're storing up big problems for yourselves in the future unless you get on the same page as each other with this sort of thing.

But the back of the car is still safer. The only time small children should be in the front of the car is if there's no room for three car seats in the back, or there are four children travelling.

Just another thought - is he forward or rear facing in the back? Because lots of children get awful car sickness when rear-facing.

Are you as parents in charge of your household or is your 4 year old?

I see a parents job as preparing a child to be independent and a happy capabale adult. Your DH obviously does not.

You sitting in the back gives a message to your DS about the hierarchy in your family.

We did this with DS from birth. We started letting him have an iPad in the car and grown up in the front. When only one parent is in the car, nothing goes wrong does it?

DH has started sitting in the back again to play Match Attax! It's a slippery slope.

You need DH on board first or any objections from your child will result in DH undermining you and teaching your DS that any change is up for negotiation in the future.

Good luck

Doesn’t mean we do it. But obviously a screaming kid when you’re driving is not ideal.

Of course it's not ideal but that's why this whole thing should never have happened in the first place. You've both created a rod for your own back and now you either need to carry on appeasing a four year old (ridiculous) or agree a strategy and get your son used to sitting in the back alone. Which means in both cars, regardless of who's driving.

Does DS scream when he doesn’t get his own way very often?

Another voice here, adding to the general "WTF" feelings. Your 4 year old is way old enough to sit in the back on their own.

He can wait if he's dropped a toy. After all, it's not long now until he goes to school, and they certainly won't be pandering to him there.

He really doesn't need anyone with him and you're storing up for future problems.

Perhaps your DH needs some counselling to sort out his anxiety issues, issues that he's projecting onto the rest of you.