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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be topless around the kids pool?

561 replies

WaitrosePigeon · 17/07/2018 16:23

Backstory...

On holiday at an all inclusive hotel with kids club etc. Got some tan lines from my bikini so this afternoon took the bikini top off to try and sort them out. DH comes over and says it is inappropriate near the kids pool. I said that he had his top off so why couldn’t I. He said because I was female.

I didn’t put the bikini top back on but is it inappropriate? It’s just boobs?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
JacquesHammer · 17/07/2018 16:24

You’re right. It’s just boobs.

HWBU

wellBeehivedWoman · 17/07/2018 16:25

Your DH needs to get over it. I see topless women on holiday all the time on beaches and at pools and I've never thought twice about it.

continuallychargingmyphone · 17/07/2018 16:25

I think it’s inappropriate tbh

LilMadAgain · 17/07/2018 16:25

If possession of breasts is now a criminal offense I'd be charged with concealing WMD Grin on a serious note, your husband is a dick.

Original poster
WaitrosePigeon · 17/07/2018 16:27

Husband is indeed a dick.

continually, thank you for being honest. Do you know why you think it is inappropriate?

OP posts:
DickTERFin · 17/07/2018 16:28

Presumably you don’t become invisible once you move away from the children’s pool and therefore the children could still have had their innocence ripped from them by the sight of your boobs, if they too moved from the kiddie pool.

Yadnbu - he is being a plonker and needs to get a grip.

User183737 · 17/07/2018 16:28

I think youre an attention seeker. Most modest women would have covered up. Teenagers could have found it uncomfortable, especially lads. Like it or not breasts are sexualised and people respond to that, some physically. That is a non controllable response. Wonen dont get turned on by mens chests, but men get erections at womens. Thats why you cant walk down the supermarket boobs hqnging out. Clearly you got off on that fact. Get to a nudist beach and i doubt youd be bothered as it wouldnt get a reaction Confused

21jumpstreet · 17/07/2018 16:29

Why not take your bottoms off too, it’s just a vagina 🙄
Why not just take the straps down so tan lines aren’t visible for clothes. So what if you have white boobs under your clothes

Original poster
WaitrosePigeon · 17/07/2018 16:30

User, I went to a nudist beach yesterday Smile

Regarding wanting a reaction, I keep a hat over my face (don’t want my big nose to get burnt) so wouldn’t be able to see anyone’s reaction anyway...

OP posts:
User183737 · 17/07/2018 16:30

Just because youre comfy, doesnt mean others are. No way would i be topless anywhere outside my bedroom/shower. Its not about shame but others comfort. Id be pissed if i were one of those parents and make it quite clear why.

JacquesHammer · 17/07/2018 16:32

Most modest women would have covered up. Teenagers could have found it uncomfortable, especially lads. Like it or not breasts are sexualised and people respond to that, some physically. That is a non controllable response. Wonen dont get turned on by mens chests, but men get erections at womens

So yet again women need to be “modest” in order to be suitable to be around men? Fuck that!

Original poster
WaitrosePigeon · 17/07/2018 16:32

Why not take your bottoms off too, it’s just a vagina

Same reason I wouldn’t expect DH to take off his swim shorts. Genitals I think are a bit much.

He’s got his chest exposed, so why not mine, is my reasoning..

OP posts:
JacquesHammer · 17/07/2018 16:32

Id be pissed if i were one of those parents and make it quite clear why

Why? Don’t your kids know what breasts are?

Original poster
WaitrosePigeon · 17/07/2018 16:33

How would you make it clear, User?

OP posts:
wellBeehivedWoman · 17/07/2018 16:33

Why do people think boobs are genitals?!

RhubarbandGin · 17/07/2018 16:34

OMG not the boobs! Shock horror!

As a mother of four (and a hater of tan lines) I do not see the problem, and you should have shoved your hubby in the pool.

Buzzlightyearsbumchin · 17/07/2018 16:34

Wonen dont get turned on by mens chests, but men get erections at womens.

Yes op, please alter your behaviour as you are responsible for men getting erections Confused poor little lambs can't be responsible for themselves.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 17/07/2018 16:35

I wouldn't do this - I'd choose to sunbathe elsewhere if I wanted to be topless - but I can't put my finger on why.

It is just a chest; but I think I'd be unhappy at making people uncomfortable (however illogical that discomfort is).

PurpleCrazyHorse · 17/07/2018 16:35

I think I'd have been more discrete next to the kids pool (topless but face down, or tuck my straps in if face up). Not everyone is comfortable with women sunbathing topless and in a public place, I wouldn't have done it. In a private garden, quiet area of a beach or quiet corner of a resort pool area, I might have, but not around a busy kids pool. To me it's a bit like couples making out, nothing inherently wrong with it but it's a bit crass when done in public.

HollowTalk · 17/07/2018 16:35

I think you should keep your top on. I don't understand MN sometimes - it's one thing your children seeing you naked, but stripping off in front of other people's kids just isn't on. If your kids had friends round on a play date, would you take your top off? If not, why not?

I think it is attention seeking and you're being disingenuous if you say you can't see a reason why you can't strip off in front of young people.

21jumpstreet · 17/07/2018 16:36

I don’t think they are genitalia I’m just interested to see why it’s ok for breasts (which no matter how you dress it up are sexual unless feeding) are treated differently. He’s got his chest out so why not mine. Grow up

21jumpstreet · 17/07/2018 16:36

That’s a good point Hollow, would the OP sit in her garden topless with her friends kids round playing?!

BiggerBoat1 · 17/07/2018 16:37

You should have covered up. Sounds a bit attention seeking to me.

Curtainshopping · 17/07/2018 16:37

I think the difference is that it’s not essential. You could avoid tan lines by removing the straps, for example. So it feels gratuitous and many people will see it that way.

shaggedthruahedgebackwards · 17/07/2018 16:37

YANBU

If you are offended by the sight of a topless female then you shouldn't go on holiday to destinations where people go topless

Not sure why the fact it's a children's pool is relevant