To be topless around the kids pool?

[WaitrosePigeon]

Backstory...

On holiday at an all inclusive hotel with kids club etc. Got some tan lines from my bikini so this afternoon took the bikini top off to try and sort them out. DH comes over and says it is inappropriate near the kids pool. I said that he had his top off so why couldn’t I. He said because I was female.

I didn’t put the bikini top back on but is it inappropriate? It’s just boobs?

Maybe young girls wouldn't have so many body hang-ups if they saw normal women's bodies more.

Instead they only see perfect airbrushed models.

Maybe boys wouldn't see women as nothing more than sexual objects if they saw normal bodies doing normal things, instead of being told women's bodies are dirty sexual things that are forbidden and need to be hidden.

YABU. Because strapless bikinis.

It is perfectly normal to sunbathe topless, not quite so much at a KIDS pool...

I agree it's tricky for young teens. It's one thing saying men should mind their own business but a 12 year old pubescent boy would not know how to deal with it.

Have you actually been a pubescent boy or are you just speculating? I have been one (some time ago admittedly) and also spent many a holiday in venues where topless sunbathing was common. It didn't confuse me, corrupt me nor have me running around with an out of control erection. If anything, it taught me at a formative age that whether boobs are sexual or not is all about the context.

Would you walk down the street topless? Or the local park?
Probably not.

Most people probably wouldn't walk down the street in a bikini nevermind topless. Sunbathing topless in Europe by the side of the pool/beach is common and if parents don't like it then don't take your dc or teach your 12 year old pubescent boy that its normal on holiday and you deal with it by not to staring. A good lesson for when he is on holiday with his friends when he's 17.

Yes, a KIDS pool. She'll be whipping them out at soft play next because, you know, we all have them and all that.

How ridiculous . Just because the OP is doing what she is doing, which is probably not what I would do, nowhere has she mentioned doing it anywhere but by the kids pool .

OP are you the only one topless there ?

Going topless is not for me but I'm just back from the south of France and on the beaches there were boobs and children of all ages everywhere. No one was batting an eyelid. It was refreshing to see all sorts of human bodies with everyone seeming at ease in their own skin.

If you were somewhere topless sunbathing is permitted, you were not BU.

Don't most hotels have 'rules' about topless sunbathing? It's not about breasts per se IMO, it's about what's appropriate for the given context. Hotel sun lounger - inappropriate Id say. Beach in Spain - fine.

Context is important. Watching a Premier league match shouting "Referee's a wanker" fine. Under 10s match - not fine.

Maybe young girls wouldn't have so many body hang-ups if they saw normal women's bodies more.

Instead they only see perfect airbrushed models.

Don't be ridiculous. Plenty of women wear bikinis of all shapes and sizes and are not all airbrushed and perfect. The issue is topless at a kids pool, not topless on a beach or a regular adult pool.

My boys wouldnt dream of going without a t shirt on, unless actually swimming. So it isnt a sex thing so much.
Id eyeroll at the beach but it is better than at a kids pool. Dont see the point in it unless you wear hugely revealing clothes in england, in which case you probably like people looking at your body full stop.

I don't get topless sunbathing. Who cares about having white tits? You can take straps down to avoid strap marks.

But in principle, if men can do it, women should be able to as well.

YANBU AT ALL

Presumably topless sunbathing is permitted where the OP is, so tough titty, so to speak.
And FFS, THE OWNERS OF TITS ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR MALES AND ERECTIONS!

In my 20s I did this a couple of times at the pool in my adults only apartment complex. The second time I had two blokes knock on my door asking if I wanted to go out with them. I never did it again. I thought as you did, OP, it’s just breasts, but it exposed haha! Me to attention I didn’t want.

I think young kids are unlikely to be shocked by boobs, surely they'd be used to seeing their own mother's at home, in changing rooms etc?

Your DH might be more concerned about other men looking at you topless?

“If you’re in Corfu then wap them out”

Funnily enough, I got back from Corfu a couple of weeks ago and I didn’t see any topless women on the beach other than a couple who were face down and tanning their backs.

It wouldn’t bother me either way but I would feel uncomfortable if I were the only topless woman amongst the sunbathers, so I wouldn’t do it.

I go on holiday to Italy every summer. It is normal to sunbathe topless on the beach. All ages do it. However back at the hotel/campsite pools, lazy river, slides and toddler pools no women sunbathe topless.

Where are you?
In the UK YABU, it's just not the done thing.
In France or Spain YANBU, no one will bat an eyelid.

Well clearly you get off on the drama and attention. Crack on. Sad you need to make your point in this way tbh.

We are fairly liberal about our bodies at home and my two kids regularly see their dad and I naked (my oldest son came in to have a chat whilst I was in the bath this morning!) but for reasons I can’t quite articulate, I don’t think it’s ok to be topless around the kids pool

Maybe because it is taking the decision to discuss/expose to nudity away from other parents? And maybe because of my own body hang ups- nursing two kids has left my with boobs so saggy I would have to tuck them in my pants, not my bikini top!!!

I always struggle with the female/male comparison wrt toplessness. They are different, just as a penis is different to a vagina (I know, I know, vulva ).

Female breasts are essentially just two lumps of varying sizes.
But they are also potentially mammory glands to feed our young at times in our life.
And they are also potentially erogenous zones at other times in our lives.
They are a complex aul’ body part, even though we try to play them down as ‘just breasts’.
(Page 3 anyone?)

Male breasts are nothing more than a belly button: they mean nothing.

I wouldn't sunbathe topless but only because of my own insecurities. I would not mind anyone (male or female!) Sunbathing topless Infront of me or my DC.

I don't have an issue with it but the hotel might have a policy about toplessness.

How old are your kids platypus? Presumably not teenagers

And FFS, THE OWNERS OF TITS ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR MALES AND ERECTIONS!

Both myself and my husband would beg to differ. I, card carrying owner of tits am often responsible for my husband’s (card carrying male) erections.