To be topless around the kids pool?

[WaitrosePigeon]

Backstory...

On holiday at an all inclusive hotel with kids club etc. Got some tan lines from my bikini so this afternoon took the bikini top off to try and sort them out. DH comes over and says it is inappropriate near the kids pool. I said that he had his top off so why couldn’t I. He said because I was female.

I didn’t put the bikini top back on but is it inappropriate? It’s just boobs?

Years ago, when I used to take my DDs to the Med for beach holidays, and I and all the other women on the beach were sunbathing and swimming topless, my elder DD said to me that she found it hugely helpful when she was at the awkward early teen stage, to see girls and women of all ages and sizes, totally comfortable with their own bodies, and she was amazed to see Greek or German teenage lads chatting calmly with topless girls - no sniggering, wolf whistling or immature sexism. She wished the same matter of fact approach applied in Britain. I think it’s a shame if kids are now being given the message that breasts are dirty, sexualised, shameful things that should be kept hidden, and that it’s women’s job to cover up so that men don’t have to learn to control themselves in public.

Would you walk down the street topless? Or the local park?
Probably not.

I agree it's tricky for young teens. It's one thing saying men should mind their own business but a 12 year old pubescent boy would not know how to deal with it.
It was very common to see women topless on holiday 30/40 years ago. Not any more so it's more noticeable.

I don't understand why boobs need to be covered but there will always be those who are offended whether your sunbathing or breast feeding.

I wouldn’t sunbathe topless by a children’s pool. My toddler for one would be running around shouting boobies but seriously go topless but not next to a dedicated children’s pool. Our last hire had a whole roof terrace with hot tubs for nudist/half nude enjoyment 18+ only.

I would not sit around topless. Breasts are sexually erotic parts of the body, and men do not have them so there is no comparison.

The OP is in a holiday resort, presumably in a warm climate, by a pool

Yes, a KIDS pool. She'll be whipping them out at soft play next because, you know, we all have them and all that.

People realise that teenage boys also find women in bikinis/swimsuits quite distracting. Does that mean women should have to be covered from head to toe to avoid making them uncomfortable?

I wouldn't have a problem with it

Unnecessary and attention seeking. We are also in the middle of a heatwave, there has been plenty of time for you to sunbathe in your garden.

I don't see any problem with it. I wouldn't have the confidence to do so, but don't feel it is inappropriate to.

As for the ridiculous erection comments, I don't think most decent men would stare long enough to end up with a boner. On holiday recently, dh managed to walk past plenty of topless women without getting an erection, probably due to the fact that he only gave them a passing glance. If the men are staring enough to stimulate an erection then that is entirely their fault.

I think it's pretty common for women to sunbathe topless in Spain and places like that, they don't seem to have the same boob hang ups as we do in the UK and Ireland.

Pub garden? Always see men with tops off in the summer, I assume you would take yours off there too to avoid the dreaded strap marks?

Plenty of women sunbathe topless all over Europe, in front of the kids, and nobody bats an eyelid.

In some cultures it's not the done thing, so it depends on which country you are in.

If it's culturally appropriate for where you are, then I can see no problem in it.

I can't belive the comments on this thread. I sun bath topless all the time. I take my top off once I have laid down and I put it back on as soon as I get up. I'm not attention seeking I don't want people to look at me. I just don't want silly tan lines.

If op was walking around oiling her boobs and tweeking her nipples in people's faces that would be one thing. But I'm going to guess she is laid asleep or reading a book minding her own business and the only people that will even notice are those that are looking.

And most teens and most preteens would be rather be seen dead than in the children's pool.

OP, would you be happy if a group of teenage boys sat opposite you, staring at you as you lay there topless?

If you’re in Dudley Leisure Centre it’s probably considered inappropriate. If you’re in Corfu then wap them out. Nobody notices or cares.

It's fairly normal for people in lots of other countries to suntan without the top. We used to do it a lot.
Not inappropriate imho.

As for the ridiculous erection comments, I don't think most decent men would stare long enough to end up with a boner.

Of course decent men wouldn't, but we're talking about a kids pool presumably full of kids.

Wtf is the problem with strap marks, you can pull straps fown.
I find it goady that the title makes the point of it being a kids pool, meaning she was predominantly surrounded by 0-18s.
I can think of numerous places where people would be comfortable with toplessness. But surrounded by kids and teenagers is not one.
Just screams 'look at me' tbh. And the fact she wants reactions on the thread confirms the attention seeking aspect.

Very interesting replies

but it is around a kids pool ... it might not be wrong but it doesn’t make it right ...

.... like blaspheming in church

Do you also get in the pool topless and walk around topless or is it just for sunbathing?

I'd roll my eyes at a woman topless sunbathing by the kids pool and think they were attention seeking. Beach = fine but kids pool I think wear a bikini top.

I think the questions regarding whether you'd be happy for another mother at a playdate to be with your children topless is an interesting one. On the other hand, if you were happy to wack your baps out on holiday in full knowledge that men (and women probably) would stare at you, and rightly or wrongly sexualise you, that's up to you.