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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

It's a summer childcare one! Furious

291 replies

Nicpem1982 · 21/06/2018 12:53

Have offered to have dn for a day a week over the summer to help bil out. He has found out via mil that I'm off for 3 weeks as I've saved my annual leave.

Hes challenged dh last night at ils saying he should get me in line and if I'm off work it doesn't hurt to have an extra child and he needs to sort me out so he can drop dn off for a few days at a time

I'm furious and am tempted to withdraw offer of one day per week. Aibu to tell him to forget bringing dn at all.

For clarity bil is single and I have previously helped bil out but he took advantage, didn't pick her up on time one turned up the next day, dropped her at 5am instead of 7am etc so I've had enough

OP posts:
endofthelinefinally · 21/06/2018 12:55

Withdraw your offer and enjoy your hard earned leave.
Let him sort his child out himself.

flowery · 21/06/2018 12:55

He's told your DH to 'get you in line' and 'sort you out'? Good grief.

Presumably you will not be offering him any childcare now then? Hopefully your DH told him where to get off as well.

apostropheuse · 21/06/2018 12:56

Tell your DH he needs to sort his brother out, then tell BIL to sort chilcare arrangements out elsewhere.

witchofzog · 21/06/2018 12:56

Get you in line? And he dropped his dd off at 5AM?? Why on earth was it so early?

I would be getting in line by telling the cf to fuck off. How disgustingly rude is he Shock Is he going to have your dc when he has his annual leave?

kaytee87 · 21/06/2018 12:57

I can see why he's single. What did your husband say back?

MissMogwai · 21/06/2018 12:58

Cheeky sod. 'Get you in line'?! No wonder he is single with an attitude like that.

I'd ring him myself and tell him childcare is no longer available.

fruitbrewhaha · 21/06/2018 12:58

So he hasn't got the other days covered already?

I was going to say you are leaving it a bit late to tell him you can't do it but if he hasn't sorted out anything else, then he's going to be stuck, and totally be asking you.

What did your DH tell him?

Original poster
Nicpem1982 · 21/06/2018 12:58

Dh supports my decision completely to not have dn for days on end through the summer. The one day offer was a token really as we felt obliged.

OP posts:
threelittlesoliders · 21/06/2018 12:58

100% withdraw your offer. I've had SIL take advantage of my childcare offers before, and I shall never offer or accept again. You're not free childcare, enjoy your annual leave with your DC.

BlueSapp · 21/06/2018 12:58

hes a CF tell him he should've been grateful you offered anything after his previous behavior.

Ribeebie · 21/06/2018 12:59

Wow, I hope you’re DH told him where to go! I’d withdraw the the offer and enjoy your time off

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 21/06/2018 13:00

Get you in line? I hope your DH took him to task on that.

Tell him to piss off. Withdraw existing offer. CF!!!

Lucked · 21/06/2018 13:00

Seems like he is the one who needs to be brought to line.

Well I imagine it would be nice for your niece to see you a bit so I would demand a full apology before considering childcare and I would spell it out to him that if he abuses your good grace all childcare will be withdrawn.

RailReplacementBusService · 21/06/2018 13:01

What did DH say to BiL when BiL made these statements? Because that is pretty important here

DerelictWreck · 21/06/2018 13:01

What did your DH think of your BiL saying you needed sorting out etc?

fruitbrewhaha · 21/06/2018 13:01

Just tell him no then. I'd make sure you were out/away as I expect he may well just turn up.

Can you be visiting your family? Take yous DCs away for a few days somewhere?

Original poster
Nicpem1982 · 21/06/2018 13:02

Dh isn't happy with him he told him my time was to do with as I please and that doesn't include his childcare

OP posts:
sunshinewithabitofdrizzle · 21/06/2018 13:03

Definitely withdraw your offer and tell him to go fuck himself, it's your leave, you can spend it however you want.

StealthPolarBear · 21/06/2018 13:04

Does he generally see women as there for his convenience

EssentialHummus · 21/06/2018 13:04

I wouldn’t drop the day but tell him that if there’s another squeak out of him about what you “should” be doing you’ll be telling him where to go. Fucker.

Idratherbeaspider · 21/06/2018 13:06

Withdraw the offer. How dare he!

honeyrider · 21/06/2018 13:06

You don't owe him anything, have some self respect and withdraw your kind offer. Your BIL has no respect for you or your generosity, let him pay for childcare then he might put some value on it.

Nanasueathome · 21/06/2018 13:06

Please be careful
I can imagine him dropping her off and then not coming back for a couple of days or just turning up on a random morning saying had no other option

massivelyouting · 21/06/2018 13:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MagicFajita · 21/06/2018 13:08

Withdraw the offer op.

I am constantly astounded at how many people think they're entitled to free childcare from family members just because they off of work. If you are offered free childcare for any period of time , even for a day , it's polite to be incredibly grateful for the opportunity to save £70.

I'd just tell him that you can no longer do it , no explanation needed. He can pay for childcare/organise his annual leave accordingly like the rest of us do.

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