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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not “wear” my baby?

220 replies

Cosmiccowgirl84 · 10/03/2018 22:21

I’m pregnant and all I keep hearing about is baby wearing. I’ve been told so many times I must go to the sling library ...I’ve been given so many leaflets on baby wearing.

Ok so it’s my first child and I don’t know how I’ll feel when it’s born. Maybe once baby is here I’ll want to “wear” him or her.

But it seems like such an obsession. I was speaking to a Mum who reacted in horror when I suggested I might want to put my baby down.

Is it so bad to not wear your baby?

OP posts:
ThisLittleKitty · 10/03/2018 22:22

People online I find make out like it's the best thing ever but honestly I hated it and didn't find it easy at all. Pram all the way!

Candlelights · 10/03/2018 22:23

It's quite handy sometimes, if you're going up and down a lot of steps.

But definitely not compulsory Smile

Certainly not compulsory to give much thought to before you have the baby. Just see how you go.

randomsabreuse · 10/03/2018 22:24

You might want to put your baby down but your baby might not agree... sling allows hands free carrying of baby so you can acquire and consume food and drinks and maybe go to the toilet without being deafened by angry wails...

SoupDragon · 10/03/2018 22:25

I loved having DD in a sling. It was the only place she would nap for a start. She was my 3rd and it was really useful on school runs etc so I didn’t have to faff about with a pram.

Makinglists · 10/03/2018 22:25

Also depends on the baby - ds1 was a riggly, active baby who would hate it. Ds2 much more compliant. Baby ‘wearing’ doesn’t suit all babies just as it doesn’t suit all parents. Do what feels right for both of you.

randomsabreuse · 10/03/2018 22:25

Pram is shit where I live - hills, steps and cobbles everywhere! Parking also shit half the year... tourist town problems!

LovelyBranches · 10/03/2018 22:26

Wait until you have your baby until you decide. I didn’t really wear DC 1, I tried a sling a couple of times but didn’t really commit to it as he liked the pram. DC2 was a different kettle of fish. She has ridiculously bad reflux and was sick almost constantly and cried if she was even tilted back a bit, plus I also had a toddler to look after so needed to be hands free. I wore her nearly constantly for about 9-10 months and am only now getting some luck with her going in a pram (she’s 1: months).

My DC1 is by far the calmer, more placid child. DC2 Is the busiest, most wilful child i’ve ever known. So I didn’t find that wearing your child makes them calmer

throwcushions · 10/03/2018 22:27

It's ok. Useful sometimes when they don't want to be put down. Definitely not compulsory.

CatsForgotPassword · 10/03/2018 22:27

I wish I’d done it sooner but it’s not a big deal if it’s not for you. I did many things that would raise eyebrows and cause the cats bum face (making up bottles in advance being one). Your baby, your choice.

Bambamber · 10/03/2018 22:27

Do what works for you and your baby. I've always used a sling as I believe in the 4th trimester and quite frankly I find it quite convenient. Certainly not a necessity though, see how you feel when baby arrives and go from there

OrangeHorse · 10/03/2018 22:27

I found it useful for a very short time when she was a few weeks old and just wanted to be held all the time but I didn't do it much. She was put down to sleep a lot in her Moses basket. I had just moved house so had loads to do 😁

Ellendegeneres · 10/03/2018 22:27

Tried with ds1, he would only sleep (ever, it seemed) walking round the block with him in pram.
Ds2 I didn’t even bother, I had known back issues so palmed him off to whoever fancied baby snuggles and slept. That’s the one thing I wish I’d done with ds1, slept when I had the chance. My mental health would have been so much more manageable.

So there you go, that my advice. Sleep when you can, do what you feel works for you. Be guided by your own instincts and the needs of your little family. And congratulations!

Lilymossflower · 10/03/2018 22:27

It all depends on you and your baby. You do what feels right and makes your life easier for you. Xx

Makingworkwork · 10/03/2018 22:28

I used a sling when my baby was older instead of pram sometimes. I used it as an alternative form of transport.

I would be wary of making any sweeping statements about how you will parent as your child may have other ideas.

Bambamber · 10/03/2018 22:29

Oh and I don't use a pram, you should see the horror on people's faces when I say I carry my 11 month old everywhere and don't even use a pram to get her to sleep. People kept telling me I needed a pram and would regret not getting one, But I've never missed not having one. Different strokes for different folks, and unfortunately there will always be someone telling you you're doing something wrong no matter what you do

Lallypopstick · 10/03/2018 22:31

I had a pram hater who wouldn't be put down for naps. A sling meant I could leave the house. My best advice is to not plan!

thecatofathenry · 10/03/2018 22:31

It is reasonable to do what works for you and your baby!

willstarttomorrow · 10/03/2018 22:33

My baby decided she was not an accessory and was very vocal about attempts to 'wear her'. This was despite being given a top of the range carrier and a later attempt after ordering a sling recommended in the guardian which turned out to be a very large blanket.

Despite this she was a delightful baby and was happy to be carried around the house, be out down in her bouncy chair, have floor time and nap in her cot. She and I had a wee walk with her in the buggy or she slept or gurgled happily until she wanted feeding. In fact she has continued to be delightful until becoming a tween.

Jassmells · 10/03/2018 22:35

I never did with my first. Decided I'd buy an ergobaby for my second. Couldn't figure out how to use the damn thing without baby feeling like she'd fall out if I leant forward. I couldn't figure out the traditional slings either. I'm just rubbish with them so gave up. I survived and if I needed to put my baby down I did and they survived too.

Kitsandkids · 10/03/2018 22:37

I hate the term baby wearing. I don't 'wear' my baby. She's not a fashion accessory. I carry her in a sling.

But anyway, back to your actual point. Slings can be really handy in certain situations. I don't drive and if I have to get somewhere by a certain time it's best to take the baby on the bus in a sling just in case there's no room for a pram. My older kids' dentist and optician are in buildings up stairs, with no lifts, so it's handy to wear a sling to them.

I bought a stretchy wrap sling before she was born which some people rave over but I could never seem to get it tight enough and the baby would always end up further down than she should. Now I borrow a sling once a month at a sling library. While that is very handy I find the women who run it a bit 'cliquey.'

EssentialHummus · 10/03/2018 22:37

You might want to put your baby down but your baby might not agree... sling allows hands free carrying of baby so you can acquire and consume food

Up to you, but I agree with this. But no, being attached to your baby/attuned to her needs doesn’t require you to lug her around in an Ergo, so don’t worry about that.

Echobelly · 10/03/2018 22:41

Do whatever's right for you! I did it a little bit, but never religiously; neither of DC were particularly clingy babies so I could generally do things without them having to be on me, but it was sometimes very useful where buggies were impractical or possibly not allowed.

Waddlelikeapenguin · 10/03/2018 22:46

Used a pram a handful of times with first child carrier/sling/wrap the rest of the time, with others we didnt even get the pram out of the loft (actually i think We charity shopped it between 2 & 3). No pram no buggy either - wrapped on my back my (large) children were easy to carry past the age of 3. No problems with kerbs, steps, woods, snow, playparks etc etc and my babies liked to be next to me & that addictive baby smell is just under your nose when older we could chat easily & they could see better.

Rain was the biggest downside for me - babywearing coat then hoods & umbrellas.

Otoh i dont think you are unreasonable at all - you'll figure out what works best for you Smile

Idontbelieveinthemoon · 10/03/2018 22:46

DS1 had a sling and despised it. Screamed like he'd been maimed each time he went in it. We gave up and accepted that human contact wasn't his thing.

DS2 had a sling and loved it. But he was 10lbs at birth and by 6 weeks was roughly the size of a Fiat Punto so wearing him was a nightmare for more than three minutes. We bought about 4 different types all proclaiming to be suitable up to 4 years. All of them lied. He was enormous and doing anything with that gibbon strapped to your front was like a challenge from the Krypton Factor. But less fun.

If it's something you're able to do and it makes life easier, do it. If not, let the baby wearers wear their children the size of a small caravan and do whatever fits your life best.

LolitaLempicka · 10/03/2018 22:47

I absolutely hate the term “baby wearing”.it is like baby-led weaning, fucking ridiculous words.

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