to not “wear” my baby?

[Cosmiccowgirl84]

I’m pregnant and all I keep hearing about is baby wearing. I’ve been told so many times I must go to the sling library ...I’ve been given so many leaflets on baby wearing.

Ok so it’s my first child and I don’t know how I’ll feel when it’s born. Maybe once baby is here I’ll want to “wear” him or her.

But it seems like such an obsession. I was speaking to a Mum who reacted in horror when I suggested I might want to put my baby down.

Is it so bad to not wear your baby?

[YerAuntFanny]

And fwiw, I never intended to use a sling but DC2 literally would not be put down unless it was in a moving pram. My HV put me in touch with the local library when she was 8 weeks and it helped me massively. I didn't use the sling a lot outside as I generally preferred the pram but it was handy for days out to castles/farms/woods etc where there were lots of steps/uneven ground or space was an issue. I carried her on and off for 3 years.

I've met people who sling 2 at a time (using a wrap not the ugly twin carrier thing!) and even newborn twins and a toddler so it can be done if you want but definitely not necessity!

[speakout]

With the right sling you can breastfeed hands free.
I could cook, do a supermarket shop, walk in the woods, hang out laundry while feeding a baby.

[Shutupanddance1]

All depends on baby I think.

I have 2 carriers and a pram, and totally depends on the situation. For me, I had a c section and using a ring sling was easier than trying to lift the pram at the start.

Also - where I live abroad people have a terrible habit of trying to kiss your baby and lift them out of the pram for them to cuddle so keeping them in a sling was more for their protection than anything.

My DD over 1 and half now and we don’t carry her unless we are going through an airport (we travel frequently). She wasn’t late at walking or anything and is very active.

[KitKat1985]

The thing is it really depends on the baby. When pregnant with DD2 I was told that a baby carrier would be a lifesaver' for managing with a toddler and baby and spent £50 on a baby carrier. Well, DD2 hated the bloody thing. Screamed every time she went in it. Utter waste of money.

[ElephantsYeah]

I wanted to wear my ds but he had other ideas. Both my sister's wore their babies (one would wear both twins at once). I wouldn't rule anything out, but also don't buy an expensive sling/carrier until your baby's here because it might be a waste of money.

[shushpenfold]

I was one of the few who didn’t do this but I had a tremendously sore back by the end of pg (v skinny baby) and DS then turned into a monster sized one within 6 months. I then slipped a disc, despite not wearing him. He’s now 6’3” and I have to Gym 5 times a week to keep body and soul together!

[Thishatisnotmine]

A sling has proved so useful with dd2. Dd1 could go in the pushchair still when dd2 was born so I didn't have to consider a double pushchair. It makes buses easier as I don't need to fit the pushchair on. But I would never have carried dd1 so much as there was no need.

I would definitely go to a sling library though OP, as it would be a good place to find out about other local classes and groups.

[reetgood]

@drycleanonly7 I’m a ff right now, haven’t had a problem with him in a sling. I use a fabric sling and they should be carried high enough that they’re above cleavage - so you can kiss top of head without craning neck babyslingsafety.co.uk . A soft fabric sling crosses between your boobs and is adjustable. Not saying you should wear one, just noting in case someone might be unnecessarily put off!

I also started wearing him in a sling about 4 weeks post c section. It’s said you shouldn’t lift anything heavier than your baby, so I reasoned it was safe. I did feel it if I went for too long without resting.

I remember meeting up with some mum friends when he was around 6 weeks old (he’s 9 weeks now!) and looking in amazement at the little babies lying flat on their backs happily. My first baby and it’s just never been an option that he can be laid down without elevation . Or indeed that he’ll be put down awake in anything for longer than half an hour. Being in the pram, now I can slightly elevate him, I only get so long before he lets me know he wants to be picked up. @helloBuddy he does sleep in his own bed, side cot... eventually. Every surface he sleeps on is elevated. If he’s struggling with napping though, the sure fire way to get him to sleep is to put him in the sling. I don’t wear him in it all the time, as he’d sleep the whole time. To be fair, he always has wanted to be rocked to sleep so it’s the same movement in a sling.

I always thought a sling could be useful but I didn’t know how much it would work with the reflux model of baby I got! I never thought I’d use a dummy either.... so glad I didn’t rule any of it out because frankly, whatever works and I don’t care what people think about ‘lifestyle’ or whatever associations there might be.

[reetgood]

Oh and he’s a big lad - I find in the sling his weight is much easier to deal with than when I’m carrying him without.

[Beachmummy23]

My daughter hates being worn. For some it’s a godsend but she just wasn’t keen. Decide when baby arrives.

[NerrSnerr]

We used our sling occasionally but I preferred the pram. The sling was useful when going places that are not pram friendly. It was also useful when our second baby was tiny so I could take our 2 year old out on her scooter or bike and have 2 arms free to avert disaster.

[Nomad86]

My dd loved the sling, it meant I could go on long walks across muddy fields and she was snug inside my coat. My dad hated it, wouldn't let you put his legs in even. He used to kick like crazy in the womb if I put a support band on and even at 18m he's not a cuddler.

[Nomad86]

Dd*

[Drycleanonly7]

Thanks reetgood. I am an L cup! I did know about the correct way to wear them. My 'cleavage' such as it is is very low owing to the huge boob size. I was also on crutches day 3 lost birth as I managed to break my toe and wasn't able to carry him for ages. When I could do so I did. But it was the summer and the heat from the size Ls was intense!

[Drycleanonly7]

• post birth not lost. I did use a fabric sling. I tried so many and again the size of my boobs made it all very prohibitive.

[ElizaDontlittle]

YANBU but a sling is much cheaper than a pram! Depends on where and how you live and where you go - I used a pushchair a bit for commuting as I had all DD's stuff and mind for the day but barely needed one before 6 months. See how you go. You can call it what you like, but a sling is very handy for colicky refluxy babes or if money is tight.

[ShipShop]

I've had 3 dc and I didn't really use the sling with dd1, I guess if I didn't get things done it didn't matter and I could pound the streets all day long if I wanted her to sleep. Once I had dc2 and then 3 I had no choice really if I wanted to get things done with a crying baby, plus it was nice to go to places where buggies weren't ideal like the woods etc with dc1.
I really love wearing them now, when I look back at the baby years I will really cherish those moment with my baby all snug and asleep on me. I'm a bit sad really that I didn't discover it with dd1.

[confusedhelpme]

Good luck "putting your baby down" if you end up with a crier.

[FloatyFlo]

Tbh the majority of the posters here that are 'against' (for want of a better word) baby-wearing/sling using/whatever, have quite clearly never actually tried it, never looked into and or bothered to research and check facts about it properly. Therefore, are showing themselves to be hugely uneducated about it with stupid comments such as 'against NHS advice', 'babies have suffocated' 'it squashes babies' 'can't be good for muscle development' 'mums just look tired and sweaty, must be uncomfortable'.

If you're not interested in using a sling then fine but don't spout such rubbish. At least attempt to look up the facts before commenting.

OP do whatever suits you. If you want to give it a go, give it a go, if you don't, then don't.

[seven201]

I used to arrive everywhere pushing an empty pram with my baby in the carrier. She screamed (not cried) every time I put her in it but I kept persisting. Wish I hadn't bothered! To be fair to my baby she did/still does have silent reflex so being flat wasn't good for her. She was slightly better when I changed it to the seat thing instead of bassinet. I hated carrying her as she's not a small baby and I felt I'd done my time carrying her for 9 months!

[Thishatisnotmine]

Also hate the term babywearing. Unless ut is during a heatwave. Then you are definitely wearing the equivelent of four snuggly, drooly jumpers.

[NerrSnerr]

As I said upthread I did use a sling at times for both babies but I do understand the pressure. I know a few people who go to sling meets and are really bizarrely evangelical about it. One put a picture of her Dad 'baby wearing' and said how proud she was of him and 'well done Dad'. So very odd.

[GrannyGrissle]

I hardly think it's an obsession unless you associate with/read about organic home grown tofu types. My DD hated the pushchair so the Connecta was a saviour. Some of us carried, some pushed our babies.
You always get the worthier than thou group who fetishise extortionate bits of cloth you can use to carry babies and look down on anyone without a Grimms rainbow in their life. These are very much in the minority and are never as superior by the time their offspring hits 2 and is just as awful as the poor neglected children carted roung in pushchairs and given plastic to play with and non organic food stuffs to eat.
Just a signal of superiority as is much in life and you get it just as much with prams from the i candy/ bugaboo brigade. It's very useful in identifying whom to avoid like the plague at playgroup

[OldMummy75]

I walked for miles and miles when my daughter was a young baby. In the winter. I couldn't possibly have carried her on my front with a sizeable backpack on my back and few bags of shopping in my hands. Either my back would have given up or I would have suffered some nasty falls. I was also still mildly anaemic from blood loss at birth so had to be careful and be able to take a break if needed. It was so much easier and safer with a pram!!!

That said, my local sling library did save my sanity! I went in with a 3 weeks old baby who wouldn't settle between 4pm and 10pm and left with a sling that I could wear for most of that time (not continuously, obviously) around the house. Complete with proper teaching on how to fit it properly, etc. It was perfect; I could still do things (eating!, toilet!) and DD was happy because she was still "on" mommy!

I'd say get the information about the location, pricing and opening hours of your local sling library. Then go with your baby when time comes (if it does come, that is...)

[Flockoftreegulls]

I used a sling sometimes, they can be useful.
Hate the term 'baby wearing' with a fucking passion through.