to not “wear” my baby?

[Cosmiccowgirl84]

I’m pregnant and all I keep hearing about is baby wearing. I’ve been told so many times I must go to the sling library ...I’ve been given so many leaflets on baby wearing.

Ok so it’s my first child and I don’t know how I’ll feel when it’s born. Maybe once baby is here I’ll want to “wear” him or her.

But it seems like such an obsession. I was speaking to a Mum who reacted in horror when I suggested I might want to put my baby down.

Is it so bad to not wear your baby?

[thehairyhog]

It’s actually much better for their motor development to have freedom of movement.

[OverTheMountain42]

I couldn't wear my baby, I have real problems with my spine and I'm very tiny, he was very large. It was totally unadvisable. So I didn't. He loved to be held and would have probably loved to be worn. He's fine for it, he doesn't have a flat head despite being in a car seat or buggy or bouncing chair. We have a good bond too.

I think like everyone else, it depends on the baby and if you can and it makes your life easier then go for it, if not, it doesn't matter. Good luck whatever you decide.

[SD1978]

I dis it because it was easier- but don’t care what anyone else does or did. I could feed her in the sling, no stopping to BF, so would only take it a few nappies and wipes, otherwise bag free. Other prefer more space and a buggy. Some people seem really OTT about it- like all aspects of parenting and babies. It comes down to what do you want to do, and do it. Give it a shot if it appeals. It can make things easier. If you don’t like the idea, don’t bother.

[DenPerry]

This is another case for me of only hearing about this on mumsnet, I've never heard of this until now and I'm in baby/small child mode! It sounds good though. I used bouncy chairs, playmats and bouncers if I needed some free time.. not sure I would have used a sling as it was a relief to not have a baby on me all the time.

[liquidrevolution]

DD was born in a heatwave. She was perfectly happy not in a sling despite me having a very expensive new one.

If you don't want to and your baby does not need it then don't.

[mumonashoestring]

Totally depends on you, and your baby - and you can apply that rule to pretty much everything about parenting that doesn't involve putting food in one end and keeping the other end as clean as possible.

I had a sling for DS - his reaction reminded me of those YouTube videos you see when someone's found a raccoon trapped in a binbag.

[llangennith]

I’ve rarely seen a baby in a sling and any mother wearing a sling usually looks tired and sweaty. Doesn’t look at all comfortable for mother or baby. Get a decent sized buggy or pram so baby can rest, sleep or wriggle about at will and you can stand upright and not put your back out and exhaust yourself.

[TonicAndTonic]

I'm the opposite to you OP, I was completely up for bsby wearing as I fancied having my hands free to do stuff. DS is 8 weeks and so far has hated every sling i've tried! Currently he likes to lie on the floor on his changing mat but not his special baby gym and watch the world go by. I think you really can't predict these things!

[Sparklingbrook]

I hated the sling. Very hot summer when DS1 was born and it was like having a hot water bottle strapped to my front. I found it very uncomfortable, DS1 wasn't mad keen either TBF.

I agree the term 'baby wearing' is ridiculous, it's 'using a sling'.

[SweetheartNeckline]

I volunteer at a sling library but it really doesn't have to be a lifestyle choice, you might just find a sling works for you - a clingy baby, living in a flat with lots of steps, using public transport, going to a music festival. It really doesn't have to be some massive decision, just be aware that the option's there and a sling library is a great place to find the one that works for you both.

[blackteasplease]

I agree the term baby wearing is off putting. They aren't clothes they are a human albeit a small one!

I agree with the general see what works advice.

dd never went in a sling, didn't like it, d's really liked it and it was handy to have him in it as he's dc2 and I needed to do stuff. But even he didn't like it on really hot days!

[Kintan]

I've never heard of baby wearing/sling carrying being an obsession. Most people I know use both slings and prams interchangeably depending on the situation. My baby spent a lot of time in our Ergobaby sling for the first six months as it was practical for us as we live in a block of flats with no lift (so it was a pain to lug the pram up and down the stairs) and traveled around on the tube a fair amount - but at no point would I have considered myself obsessed with this mode of baby transport :)

[blackteasplease]

I do remember striding through the shops with ds in the sling and seeing everyone with buggies thinking I was having the much easier time though!

[ndo4000]

Didn't 'wear' DD1 at all. A bit for DD2 and 3rd time round, I am loving the sling. She sleeps in it brilliantly and I can make dinner, eat dinner, have my hands free and get some things done. Also great for when my other 2 are at swimming lessons and I need hands to help them! Absolute gamer changer for me. But I still have the pram and use that everyday too.

I would say go to the sling library tho. I am on my 3rd sling now and love it, but you need to try them properly to get a real feel for what you like.

[Jaggythistle]

YANBU to not want to at all.

I didn't with my first but in hindsight it would have helped a lot when I was stressing to get stuff done when he just wanted to feed or nap on me.

Babywearing is a somewhat unnecessary term. Using slings/ carriers is what i tend to refer to it as.

When i "discovered" a decent sling with DC2 it did make a huge difference, in terms of keeping him happier while dc1 was needing attention/ lunch etc.

After DC3 I now need to sell the result of my subsequent hobby of buying all different types. 😳

It's great for the toddler stage too, when you only need a buggy once their legs get tired. We often carry a sling of some sort oin n the car or bag for emergencies :)

[EveMoneypenny]

I've tried a sling (Ergo, so a really good one) on a handful of occasions with DS1 and DS2 and none of us have particularly enjoyed the experience. DS1 was enormous and I remember carrying him on holiday aged 13 months and being in considerable pain. That was the last time I tried with him. DS2 is only 4 months but looks totally bemused and uncomfortable any time I've tried. He loves lying on his mat, kicking and trying to grab things. I can see that they have practical advantages depending on your circumstances but I love my pram/buggy for the amount of stuff it can carry in the basket. Missed it when DS1 got too big for it!

[Sparklingbrook]

I much preferred the pram when shopping, because I didn't have to carry the nappy bag/my handbag and could put any shopping underneath.

[IfYouDontImagineNothingHappens]

I loved it, baby loved it. DH did too. No need to go over what other people have said as in basically in agreement.

One thing I would point out- v.good for my mental health. When baby was small I could just leave the house with a small changing bag on my back, baby in a sling on my front without lugging a pram about. We could go in to our nearest city for the day and not have to worry about lugging a pram up and down steps/lifts/cobbles.

Still loved my pram although baby hated it until she was in the older bit where she could see out. In the baby pram she hated not being able to see the world.

[LBOCS2]

I had one baby who wanted to be on me. All the time, constantly. Loathed being put down, didn't much like being handed to Daddy (or indeed anyone else), would only nap (until she was TWO) cuddled up to someone. I had a sling for her, and it was a revelation. She was 4wo and I was eating hot lunches again. Brilliant stuff.

I had another baby who I was well prepared for - slings suitable from newborn, absolutely mentally in line with the idea that she would want to be held constantly, completely on board with that and had prepared for that eventuality. Did she want to be held? Did she fuck. She wanted to be left alone, and not too warm.

Babies are all different. You don't know what sort you're going to get. Even now, clingy baby 1 is now 5 and still a complete Mummy's girl. Doesn't like sleeping on her own, very cuddly, would ideally spend the whole day with me. Independent baby 2 is now almost 2 and would happily accompany the childcatcher anywhere for the promise of sweeties, goes to bed on her own, not fussed about people at all. It's just their personalities.

[multivac]

you should see the horror on people's faces when I say I carry my 11 month old everywhere and don't even use a pram to get her to sleep

Really? 'Horror'? Are you sure they are as impressed with your lack of pram as you think they are?

[QualityDogWrangler2]

Goodness, decide yourself if you want to, and ignore those who push you to do something you aren’t keen on.
I loathe slings, as they squash babies up, and mothers often appear to forget that the baby might be cold too.
I used a pram/ pushchair, later for my children.
You may not want to carry a child after childbirth, but if you do, let it be a choice you are comfortable with.
You’ll find that everyone ( including me ) is too quick with helpful advice, just do your own thing, what you are happy and comfortable with.

[Kokeshi123]

I liked having a sling as well. It depends on your lifestyle though. I have no car, so a pram is useful for carting stuff around in, like shopping, picnic gear etc. I could never get the hang of "do housework with the baby in a sling." Every time you stoop down they get squashed, and by the time they are big enough to go on your bag they tend to be growing out of the wanting-to-be-carried phase. We did use the sling sometimes, that said.

[wikedminx]

I would have loved to be able to use a baby carrier/ sling thingy when I had my son (he is soon to be 24),
But because of the damage caused by epidural I wasnt able to. Had 2 more babies and was not ablee to carry them about 'hands free' either :(

[LokiBear]

I used a sling because it meant I could have my hands back. Neither of my girls liked being put down. Both times I bought my sling after the baby had arrived and I realised I needed/wanted one.

[Kokeshi123]

Oh, and when I was out all day with the pram, I would wait for her to fall asleep, then take the opportunity to have lunch or a coffee in peace. If you have a baby in a sling and they fall asleep, you are stuck--it's tricky to move them, and if you are out of the house you have nowhere to put them anyway. You end up not being able to sit comfortably and you can't have a hot drink lest you drip scalding liquid on their head. I used slings for short trips out of the house, mostly.