to not “wear” my baby?

[Cosmiccowgirl84]

I’m pregnant and all I keep hearing about is baby wearing. I’ve been told so many times I must go to the sling library ...I’ve been given so many leaflets on baby wearing.

Ok so it’s my first child and I don’t know how I’ll feel when it’s born. Maybe once baby is here I’ll want to “wear” him or her.

But it seems like such an obsession. I was speaking to a Mum who reacted in horror when I suggested I might want to put my baby down.

Is it so bad to not wear your baby?

[BeyondThePage]

Mine were both heavy - it hurt after about 2 min, so they had a pram. They were fine and so was I.

[GummyGoddess]

In terms of the most useful item bought, the £20 stretchy wrap was it. More useful then the bouncer, Jumperoo, highchair, baby gym, baby bath and the pushchair.

Like another poster, I did try using the pram because that's what everyone else does, but I'd end up pushing an empty pram around and getting odd looks from people. I was never good with the pram anyway, kept getting stuck in doorways and tight corners. It's not worth the screaming and sobbing to get him into the pushchair (now in the loft). I cannot stand him crying as it really upsets me, especially if he's crying because all he wants is a cuddle.

I shall look especially pretentious/wanky with dc2. I'm planning on him being on my front and dc1 being on my back if he doesn't fancy walking, he'll be 19 months when dc2 arrives so that's a possibility.

[yikesanotherbooboo]

It greatly depends on the child and your family circumstances.
My DC are in their mid 20s now but going back
The sling was useful for DD when we lived in an upstairs flat and needed to carry stuff.
Soon after we moved to the country and I used a back carrier almost daily for supermarket shopping, any sort of travelling , dog walking, any situation or n fact out of the house where I anticipated needing 2 arms . It was useful when I was pregnant again as I didn't have to manhandle the pram.we used the back pack for all three children for varying lengths of time ( until they could or wished to walk well) I think DD would still have a rest when she was about4.!i had a sling for DS1 when he was tiny and DD was still a toddler for certain circumstances. DS2 wouldn't countenance the sling face in which was a shame as he hated being put down and was a terrific( frequent) feeder. Luckily the other children were a little bit older and less dependent.we did use the sling forward facing a bit but it wasn't often needed.

[PilatesSuck]

Do what is best for you and the baby. I would have loved to use the sling but my pelvic floor couldnt support it.

[user1471426142]

I didn’t get on with it. I thought I’d love the sling but my baby hated it.
She’s always seems too hot and was really active so hated being confined. I hope I get on with it better for another baby as slings do seem quite practical with multiple kids.

[NoMudNoLotus]

Absolutely loved baby wearing.

The most natural thing in the world and helped my 2 to develop healthy secure attachments.

Its not fancy or modern , women across time and the world have been "baby wearing".

[Steeley113]

You know... You could just use both? There’s not one way or the other? This is what I hate about ‘parenting types’, it’s one way or the other and there’s no in between when in fact, you could just use a combination which suits you! You may find a sling helpful at times, you may wanna give purée and finger food, you may wanna combination feed. Do what works for you.

[Frazzled2207]

Completely depends on you and your baby. My ds1 was a complete Velcro baby and pretty much refused to be put down for months. I would never have left the sofa/bed if I couldn't put him in a sling!

[OneStepSideways]

I loved wearing mine! Mainly because of the freedom it gave me. I could walk around the shops while she breastfed in the sling. Prams are heavy and cumbersome, hard to get on and off buses and trains as you have to keep getting baby out and folding. You have to queue for lifts and find the accessible routes around steps. Mine would happily sleep in the sling all day, but in the pram she cried and fussed. She hated the pram until she was about 6 months! When they're tiny they feel more secure snuggled close to the mother's body.

[Daffydil]

I carry my baby in a sling or a carrier because it's convenient for me. Some days I use the pushchair because that's more convenient. They are just tools that do a job. I use the most appropriate tool for the occasion.

Having said that, a teeny newborn all snuggled in close in a stretchy wrap is lovely (and also a really good way of going to the cinema if they have parent&baby showings! DS slept all the way through a James Bond film like that.)

[LittleLionMansMummy]

You might feel differently when the baby arrives.

I used a sling loads with my second, it meant I could help my eldest get dressed after his swimming lesson. It also meant I got to eat meals when they were still hot. I don't understand why you'd dismiss anything that could potentially make life easier for you.

Of course it doesn't work for everyone and some babies won't get on with a sling. But many do and for many mums it really makes all the difference.

[Heatherbell1978]

I was never a 'sling mum' even when the second came along and I had a toddler. Much preferred the baby sleeping in the buggy while I could actually do things with my hands. It was useful with the first when we lived up 3 flights of stairs but once we moved to a house I barely used one.

[Falconhoof1]

My first loved the sling. This was before they were popular and I got funny looks from people! Second baby not so keen. It's really what suits them/you that matters.

[PinkyBlunder]

I hate the term ‘baby wearing’. Neither of my DDs are an accessory or apparel! I carry them in a sling....

I found that having a sling was really helpful to settle my fussy firstborn. My second one sometimes likes it and sometimes doesn’t but the sling is still handy. For example, I was chucking up all day yesterday (curse you school aged children and your germs!) and having the sling meant that DH could hold the newborn who has the very common newborn tendency of NOT wanting to be put down at all, see to firstborn and do the housework (yes, he’s a peach like that ).

We’ve not got a pram this time because I found pushing it, in post partum recovery, with a dodgy back, rather hard work. I’ll probably get a stroller when she’s around 6 months.

I hated being told what to do when I was pregnant with my first and I suspect you feel like you’re having information and opinions about having a sling shoved down your throat and I agree, it’s annoying. I would wait and see until the baby is born and work out what’s easiest for you before dismissing anything though. Motherhood is easier with an open mind. I personally think it’s rather impressive you’ve got so much info on slings and such, I had to do all my research myself!

[CAAKE]

It depends on your baby. Neither of mine tolerated being put down unless it was in a moving pram or car, so it was a choice between baby wearing and screaming for me.

[Curiousaboutchoices]

Such a wank phrase. A sling is simply a way of transporting or carrying your baby. I had one which we both used along with pram, arms, cot etc. You can have one and use it without subscribing to an entire way of life.

Do yourself a favour and stop listening now. Plough your own furrow. Trust your instincts and seek advice only from people who have your best interests at heart, not those that choose to create black and white in a field where most areas are grey.

[oblada]

Do what works for you. I have 3 kids and found out with my first that I hated the pram (too much faff) and loved baby wearing. i have a few mai tae and they're cheap easy and fab! i can get on with my housework and do long walks with the dog. to each their own tho. I have a few sturdier baby carriers for long walks/older kids.

[Unfinishedkitchen]

I hate all these stupid terms for doing ordinary things. They sound like utter wank. ‘Baby wearing’ used to be putting your baby in a sling, something I’ve seen many African and Asian women doing without fanfare for a long time. ‘Baby led weaning’ used to be the baby just choosing finger foods to stuff into their mouth. ‘Child directed play’ used to be the kid playing by itself. Utter wank.

Yes I’m tired and grumpy.

[AnxiousNewUser]

It's one possible tool in your parenting toolkit. Ignore the tiny minority who treat babywearing like a religion and make out that, if your baby isn't "worn" , it must be sitting with glazed eyes in a car seat in front of the television 24/7. Most mothers in my circle use a combination of sling, pushchair/pram and their own arms depending on the circumstances. Slings are a handy convenience tool: they're not essential for a healthy relationship with your kids and the method in which you transport your baby isn't determinative of the quality of your interaction with him/her.

[AnxiousNewUser]

PS I agree that it very much depends on the personality of the individual baby too. I started out trying to cuddle DD round the clock because I believed that that was what all babies wanted and needed. I ended up with a very stressed baby who wouldn't stop screaming - eventually, I put her down on the playmat in despair and she immediately chilled out and kicked her legs happily for 15 minutes. Like grown-ups, babies have varying degrees of need for their own personal space!

[FreshHorizons]

The term always makes me laugh- treats the baby like an accessory. Do whatever suits you and the baby. Not all babies want it.

[Dondie]

I wasn’t into the idea of baby wearing but did get a sling (hanna baby) when DS was born. It was really great once I got used to using it. It is very handy. I stopped when he was about 1 because he was just too heavy for my sling and I couldn’t get the hang of a different one.
Like with everything I’d say keep and open mind. I had A LOT of ideas about what I would and wouldn’t do before DS arrived and my views after having him were quite different.

[Cagliostro]

I absolutely love my sling, it was the second most expensive thing I’ve bought for the baby (after the pram) and it’s fantastic. I love having her close to me and as I don’t drive, it’s very useful for certain trips when buses are packed, as I wouldn’t be able to get on with the buggy.

I have a friend who is an expert at all things Sling related, and that made a huge difference. I tried a Tomy carrier with my older two and never really got on with it, particularly with my second as he was nearly 12lb so just felt too heavy from the start. Whereas this time I tried a few different ones and found the right style for me (eg ring sling discounted because it goes on one shoulder and makes me feel ‘wonky’, wrap discounted because it’s too much faff for me each time and I get all flustered. In the end I chose a pre-tied wrap which tightens with rings, which is perfect for my needs). So I am now carrying my 4mo lots and I’d already given up long before that with the other two, because I have the right sling for me and my friend showed me how. I was really worried about my back because of chronic pain issues but it’s been ok.

But I would never give up the buggy, I love it! Luckily so does she. I use that for most journeys and walks. Also the whole “wear your baby in the house so you can get things done” just doesn’t work for her, she needs more constant movement like a walk or bus ride to doze off in it or to look around happily, if I wear her in the house she just screams if she was grumpy to start with. Luckily the older two are willing baby holders. She’s not put down much and only recently tolerates her bouncy chair (glad I only bought a cheap one as she will outgrow it soon).

I’d say YANBU, it’s worth keeping an open mind but you shouldn’t feel pressured as if you don’t want to then you may not enjoy it anyway and it might not work.

[mirime]

Didn't have a sling but did have a carrier for going out. Only problem was when DS was small as soon as I put him in it he wanted to feed. Even if he'd just had a feed. So it didn't help me get out of the house until he was about four or five months and then by seven or eight months he wanted to be facing away from me but I found that crippling.

In the house I just sat and cuddled him if he wanted it. I'm not houseproud though and was fine with getting just the bare minimum done.