to not “wear” my baby?

[Cosmiccowgirl84]

I’m pregnant and all I keep hearing about is baby wearing. I’ve been told so many times I must go to the sling library ...I’ve been given so many leaflets on baby wearing.

Ok so it’s my first child and I don’t know how I’ll feel when it’s born. Maybe once baby is here I’ll want to “wear” him or her.

But it seems like such an obsession. I was speaking to a Mum who reacted in horror when I suggested I might want to put my baby down.

Is it so bad to not wear your baby?

[AnElderlyLadyOfMediumHeight]

Haven't RTwholeFT (public service announcement while I'm here: as this -< indicates, the F in that abbreviation doesn't stand for 'full'), so someone may have said it, but whatever you do, don't get a Baby Björn or another of that type. They're terrible for the baby's hips and (as I can testify, having been lent one when dc1 was small) pretty uncomfortable for the parent too.

My second and third were barely in a pram their first 18 months - in fact, I didn't even bother getting one for no. 3 (big age gap so we didn't have one hanging around). I used a Marsupi and changed to a Manduca after 7 or 8 months with dc2. With dc3, who was smaller and lighter, I used the Marsupi until 18 months or perhaps beyond. I love them - they're very supportive for the baby and easy for the parent. The only thing is I wouldn't get one second-hand, and I never passed ours on, because they're based on velcro straps - the velcro is strong but it does become fuzzy with time.

I loved 'wearing' them (it is a somewhat cringey term) because I could feed them walking along, which was a godsend - I am (very) flat-chested, though, so I don't know if that works if you're better-endowed. It's also very, very convenient on public transport.

[ShackUp]

'Can't be good for muscle development'

The opposite, actually. I carried both DSes everywhere for the first 6+ months and they both walked at 8 months. DS2 had a sternocleidomastoid tumour and suspected clicky hip from being squashed in utero; the sling sorted it out.

[bobstersmum]

If you don't want to, don't! I did with my first during a fussy few weeks he had but I stopped when I realised that even when not wearing him I walked around bopping and swaying out of sheer habit. You don't need to wear your baby to be close to them! Newborns sleep a lot anyway and will usually sleep anywhere.

[ShackUp]

(I used moby wraps and ergo/manduca, would touch a Baby Bjorn).

[ShackUp]

Oh yeah, like PP I was lucky to be able to feed them both in the sling. DS2 had put on a pound in weight by 5 days because he was constantly feeding. There are definite, measurable upsides for both mum and baby.

[Esspee]

Ahhhh, a mum to be! Always makes me smile when I read posts from people who have no idea what they have let themselves in for.
OP, your baby might be happy with lack of contact but my experience was that my two were both much happier up against me or dad. Took a while and being asked to demonstrate a baby sling at a support group meeting before I discovered my PFB was capable of napping. After 9 months in the womb they love the security of being close.

[Stillgameforalaugh]

My first I did use the sling. I used a ring sling as I couldn't be bothered with all the tieing. They were a late walker so it was handy when they were up and down a lot. Dc2 I haven't used it more than twice. They're extremely heavy but an early walker and they just want down all the time. Do what suits you.

[AnElderlyLadyOfMediumHeight]

Oh, developmentally, a sling that supports baby in the proper 'froggy' position is great for hip development. I had hip dysplasia, which put my children (especially dd) at risk for it, and there was a small amount of concern when both my younger two were born (hip scans at 6 weeks or so are standard here). By the follow-up scans the problems had disappeared - I'll obviously never know whether it was the slings, but it quite possibly helped.

[mistermagpie]

Depends on the baby. DS1 loved the 'sling' - I hate that word though, it's just a baby carrier to me! He was in it all the time, slept in it etc.

DS2 hated every kind of carrier I tried, just screamed when he was put in it. He also hated the pram and the car seat and generally anything that made him feel confined.

Don't waste money now, they are worth a try but not the be all and end all. I've managed perfectly well with DS2 without one and that's while also dealing with a toddler.

[ApplesTheHare]

OP I totally get being horrified by people telling you that you must babywear. I know a few people who are evangelical about it. I tried, but my back was so bad after having DD that it wasn't possible, so it's definitely not for everyone. The pram was my saviour, so don't feel you have to do what works for anyone else.

Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy

[megletthesecond]

Yanbu.

They're nice as an option for short outings and country walks. I preferred mine stretched out and laying flat in the buggy. It was easier to use the buggy in town anyway, I could be hands free and pop the shopping in the basket. I sometimes used them in a sling at home but no way did I take them to the toilet with me, that wasn't going to work with constant IBS. If they cried, they cried.

[eurochick]

Jeden you can get slings suitable for prem babies and small newborns. My teeny tiny growth restricted premmie loved it. She was still supposed to be inside me, after all!

I used my slings loads. It was much easier around London (my local station didn't have a lift; loads of tube stations don't have lifts) and in muddy parks. I was much more mobile with the baby on my front and a backpack on my back.

Baby wearing is a wanky term.

[TurquoiseDress]

I think it really depends on the baby.

With my first one we had a carrier that we used every now and then for short periods of time- I found it gave me a sore back and wasn't able to use it for extended times eg long walk in the woods or whatever.

My LO loved our pram and would sleep contentedly for long stretches so I never got into the "baby wearing" thing.

Hoping DC2 will be the same and love the pram as well!

[moonmaker]

I think I found it brilliant because I could cook, make a cup of tea , tend to my other kids, do the laundry etc and all the things I would normally do , totally hands free whilst baby slept or fed quietly in the sling. For us it was also a miracle solution for colic. It made the few months really manageable and i like a tidy house and a quiet baby

[maddiemookins16mum]

I never had a sling and sometimes (often) I put her down simply because I needed to wash, wee or do stuff.
I'd never heard of 'baby wearing' until MN.

[TurquoiseDress]

And yes I agree that "baby wearing" is such a wanky term!

[ibblebibbledibble]

My firstborn practically lived in the sling. It was the easiest way to get him to sleep, so he had most of naps in there. I loved it, and he used to scream in the pram.
Then I had twins and used to carry one while other twin and toddler were in the buggy when they were small. They didn’t like the slings so much as they got older, I think probably because they weren’t so used to being in it.
You’ll find what works for you and what doesn’t.
If you have a refluxy baby you might find a sling helps.

[Osopolar]

Loved wearing my newborn, he was guaranteed to fall asleep within minutes. I lived up a flight of steps so it was a lot more convenient than a pram. There was also nothing as lovely as having his sleeping head snuggled up against me and just being able to kiss the top of his head as I walked around. It certainly isn't compulsory but perhaps give it a try and see if you like it?

[kungfupannda]

It’s entirely up to you but I wouldn’t dismiss a useful tool because you find the terminology/pushiness offputting. I used slings with all three of mine. I don’t like prams and found that I had much more freedom with slings. I have back issues but found that wrap slings spread the weight so well that it didn’t cause problems. I also learned to feed in the sling which made life so much easier. With 2 and 3 I had them on my back very early which meant I could do activities with the older ones without any restrictions. It does seem fairly mainstream these days. I generally see several different carriers whenever I go into town and on the school run there are a couple of Ergos, a wrap sling, several Baby Bjorns and some sort of mei tai toddler carrier.

[howthelightgetsin]

I was so excited about our lovely pram. But then, baby had reflux and screamed and never slept in the pram. So sling was the only option. Also I agree with PPs - brilliant for feeding and napping. Even when he got older and into the sitting up bit of the pram it just wasn’t for him. You don’t know before they’re born so try not to be judgemental until you’ve tried having a baby that is in physical pain lying down flat and trying to get around the place. A LOT of babies have some degree of reflux also.

[eurochick]

Be aware that whatever you think now might change, and your baby might have other ideas. I wanted to breastfeed but hated the idea of expressing and had decided I didn't want to do it. However the premmie I mentioned in my last post was too weak to feed when she was born and never got the hang of it so I expressed. For nine months. Stay open minded. A sling might work for you and your baby.

[roundaboutthetown]

Your baby - do what you want.

[lifechangesforever]

@Mustang27 so sorry to hear of the loss of your girl, I can't imagine what it's like, I can't bear to think about it

Thanks for the advice I'll definitely bare that in mind I wouldn't be able to walk them on my own with baby as well so one of us will have baby in carrier / sling and likely other one one will be walking (being dragged) by the dogs. Will see - maybe the dogs will calm down when baby arrives

As for Florida - I can imagine that it gets quite hot with baby in a carrier so it will probably be taken more just as a backup and maybe for water park days! We can't wait to take our little princess though.

[KatharinaRosalie]

Firstborn hated any wearing with passion and was totally happy to sit in the bouncer and look around. Of course, I also had my hands free to pick him up if needed.

Second born wanted to be carried all the time, and of course I also had a toddler to wrangle. No idea how I would have managed without Moby.