to not “wear” my baby?

[Cosmiccowgirl84]

I’m pregnant and all I keep hearing about is baby wearing. I’ve been told so many times I must go to the sling library ...I’ve been given so many leaflets on baby wearing.

Ok so it’s my first child and I don’t know how I’ll feel when it’s born. Maybe once baby is here I’ll want to “wear” him or her.

But it seems like such an obsession. I was speaking to a Mum who reacted in horror when I suggested I might want to put my baby down.

Is it so bad to not wear your baby?

[Loyaultemelie]

Honestly just do whatever works for you at the time. With dd1 a wee preemie, she wasn't hugely keen on being held/carried so pram was the way to go. Dd2 on the other hand wasn't impressed with being put down ever and sling saved my sanity and my back!
Also recently although dd2 just turned 3 she has been very ill and lost a lot of weight. She is on the mend and we are working on building her strength and energy back up again but while we haven't really been going out much we went a short walk the other day to get them out in the air and used the sling again when dd2 got tired for the first time in months.

[MinnieMousse]

Depends what sort of baby you end up with! DC1, fairly happy to be put down, or as she was my only child I had the time to sit and hold her if she wanted. I had a carrier similar to a Baby Bjorn but couldn't really get to grips with it so rarely used it.

DC2, I had a stretchy wrap sling and it was a godsend. She would not be put down and fed loads. The sling was invaluable for when I needed to get meals etc for DC1 and I became very proficient at breastfeeding in it.

It's certainly not compulsory but I wouldn't entirely rule it out because you might find it works for you.

[Snowbelled]

I used a sling on all of mine for bit but after about 6 weeks it just hurt me to much. The joy of fibromyalgia. Work out what works for you both.

[GummyGoddess]

DC1 is 17 months, he doesn't do pushchairs. Given the choice of wheeling him about with him sobbing uncontrollably or popping him in the sling, the sling wins every time!

It's also good if baby doesn't like tummy time either, it helps strengthen their neck muscles.

As per Bambamber I also get people looking horrified when they see the size of DC1 and that I'm still carrying him at 7 months pregnant. So far I haven't felt compelled to try and force him into the pushchair and he is walking so his days of being carried are numbered.

[PussGirl]

When DS20 was tiny, we didn't "wear" babies at all - we "used slings".

[MiserableOldBat]

I desperately tried to "wear" my 2nd baby as, according to everyone, it's the only way you can manage two babies! She HATED being strapped to me. As a newborn she would attempt to fight her way out of the sling! She was more than happy with a pram.

[DramaAlpaca]

A sling was the only thing that kept DS1 happy as he didn't like being put down. It was usually DH carrying him though, to save my back. DS2 much preferred being in a pram to a sling.

[Bluesmartiesarebest]

YANBU

I didn't bother with a sling and my now adult children have turned out fine. If I needed to put one of the babies down to do something like shower I accepted that they might cry but it wouldn't be for long and it wasn't going to harm them. I felt much more confident going out and about with a pram as the sling hurt my back.

[mugginsalert]

I think there's a bit of a social pendulum type thing here - even a few years ago when sling using wasn't so ubiquitous, you'd get real pressure to use a pram if you were sling-inclined and people would look at you as if you were mad if you tried to discuss any possibility of benefits from sling wearing. Now perhaps it's going the other way. It's like bottle/breast feeding, everyone has an opinion and it feels really important for the few short months/years when your first baby is in that developmental stage. It really doesn't matter what others think so long as whatever you do is safe for you and the baby.

Having said that, I loved slinging my first, he was massive and clingy and never took to a buggy. I had PND and trouble bonding and I think the sling really helped us. I've never been fitter than that time either. I couldn't wait to do the same again with my second but she preferred the buggy and actually it was much easier to manage baby and toddler with a buggy for stuff.

[Seafoodeatit]

YANBU, baby isn't here yet so you won't know what works for you. I use it more these days then when I had just one baby as I have 2 under 2 and it means I can take the youngest in the sling sometimes and only need to take the single buggy.

[Stinkbomb]

Do what works for you & your baby. I found a sling v useful at times, pram was much better at other times. I do remember being out with family on a day trip once and DD (about 10wks old) was being particularly fussy so we had to fashion a sling type carrier for her to save my arms & back!

[DragonBones]

I had twins. Used a double pushchair. Those saying it depends on the baby are talking shit, mine had to be in a pushchair. Did them no harm. This baby wearing is just a fad, up to you if you want to, but it's by no means essential or compulsory.

[Itmakesthereaderreadon]

I.most definitely wore Dd. She's now 6 and if she could crawl back inside me like a Joey, she would. She's a bit high maintenance. The sling saved my sanity and ensured dc1 got some time with me.

[GummyGoddess]

DragonBones I don't think it's a fad, people from every country have been doing it for centuries. The internet just makes it more visible/accessible so it seems more common.

[Stinkbomb]

It's not a fad, people have been carrying babies that way since the dawn of humankind (before the invention of the wheel!) - don't be ridiculous! Some babies & parents don't have a choice, sometimes it just works - I know people who have had twin baby carriers, and others that carried one in a sling & the other in a pram. You just have to make it work, one way or another, depending on you as a parent plus your children.

[LBOCS2]

Ok @DragonBones, my baby didn't have to be worn. She was just much, much happier close to me and this was the solution which also enabled me to make myself a sandwich using both hands without the accompaniment of a screaming baby.

[Adarajames]

I have a sling for foster puppies that are too young to walk with the big dogs but still need to go out and experience the world I actually rather fancy one of the lovely stripy meh tai you can get, but can't justify the price for puppies!! Go with what works for you op, my older sister suffered from motion sickness so badly she was pram sick when little! A sling may have been easier on her, but weren't really available back that far! Have found using a buggy with mindees very useful for carrying all the stuff kids seem to need out with them though, far easier than carrying them and the kit!

[jedenfalls]

bear in mind that small or prem babies can’t go in a sling.

I would quite liked to have given it a try, but mine was too tiny

[OutyMcOutface]

I only did it when we went out/I really had to get something done and baby was fussy. I don’t imagine that it is very good for them to be worn all the time. They need to opportunity to develop muscle strength.

[DragonBones]

Some babies & parents don't have a choice
Tell that to my friend with triplets. Yeah I know you can get twin sling, but fucking hell, have you seen them? If you haven't got twins then they're laughable.

I think it's fashionable right now.

Do or don't, it's your choice, it's not necessary or essential.

[ElfEars]

Do whatever works for you. DS had days where he would not be put down and hated his carrycot part of the pram so sometimes it was nice to go hands free. I also found it very handy when out and about on my own when I didn't want to faff putting the pram up or when I went into small spaces such as taking DS to the doctors.

[Afternooncatnap]

The NHS advise against slings, babies have suffocated and died in them.

I actually think it's better for for a newborn to sleep in a bed, cot, basket, pram where they won't be disturbed. The baby doesn't need to be strapped to you 24/7.

[mehhh]

I bought a wrap but never used it because I was too scared I wouldn't wrap it right, so I never wore my dd, but she also never really wanted to, we had lots of snuggles and she used to fall asleep on my in the evenings etc but she didn't scream every time I put her down so I could leave her to sleep.. I did then end up buying the baby k'tan breeze carrier, which i have used twice, it is great but we've never really needed one so it hasn't been used, just another thing to list on eBay! She's now 8 months and I feel like she's just a bit big for it now, it's a great wrap / idea though if you do decide to get one! I found the fact it was pre wrapped made it easier and I felt safer that doing it myself

[PinkAvocado]

Afternooncatnap-slings aren’t instead of cots! Can you link where the NHS advise against slings?

[reetgood]

I think yabu to rule it out. See what it’s like when your baby arrives. I have a refluxy, snuggly, doesn’t want to be put down baby. Yes, I could have put him in the pram in the early days but it basically ends with him covered in sick up. It’s better now I can have him elevated slightly ... but sling is amazing. Sure fire way to ensure he naps, plus hands free. I wasn’t aware it was a lifestyle choice, it just improved my quality of life by enabling me to leave the house/ giving me a sleep option.

I do get a bit of attention with him in the sling but it’s mostly ‘ he looks so snug’. And he is! I’m probably guilty of boring on about it, but it was so great for me I want to share widely.