to not “wear” my baby?

[Cosmiccowgirl84]

I’m pregnant and all I keep hearing about is baby wearing. I’ve been told so many times I must go to the sling library ...I’ve been given so many leaflets on baby wearing.

Ok so it’s my first child and I don’t know how I’ll feel when it’s born. Maybe once baby is here I’ll want to “wear” him or her.

But it seems like such an obsession. I was speaking to a Mum who reacted in horror when I suggested I might want to put my baby down.

Is it so bad to not wear your baby?

I have done on a few occasions but my back won't let me wear them for long. When they are new borns it IS very lovely and snuggly to have them right there with you. 😁

You nurture your baby however you want, YADNBU to resist pushy advice.

Carrying your baby can be so useful if it’s what you want to do. Prams also useful.

Also ignore those scaremongering in here - the only reported deaths whilst being carried either involve bag slings (years ago, recalled long since) or parents misusing the sling (v sad, but categorically would not have happened had the parents familiarised themselves with the basic instructions.)

I don't babywear, they are children not hats. But I do use slings a lot. With my first I barely used the buggy at all because we lived in a second floor flat and used the tube a lot so a sling was much easier. I carried DS1 until he was 3 and I was 20 weeks pregnant. DS2 is only 5 weeks so a bit early to judge but so far I've only used the pram two or three times despite moving to a house outside London. I like being able to cuddle them all the time and I like being unencumbered when I'm out. But it's definitely not for everyone (child or parent)

Mine fucking hated it. He was a hot baby and it's quite warm being jammed together.

Fuck the baby wearing. It’s handy enough if you have (an) older child(ren) and you’re at tots groups or something and need your hands free...but at home, or out shopping or cooking or vacuuming or any of the other million times people say baby wearing is a must, it just wasn’t for me.

I totally wanted to put my baby down but she didn’t agree! The sling was how I survived the first few months. I would’ve ended up carrying her in my arms, unable to do anything and hurting my back if not. But I also like going for walks where you can’t take the pram so it was useful for that, and for shopping and things. But babies are different, you might get one that’s ok with the pram/ swing/ cot.
It’s probably useful to either borrow a sling from a friend or from a sling library and try it rather than buying one if you don’t think you’ll use it that much, or you can get them on Facebook second hand for hardly anything (check it fits with the TICKS rules first). Having one around means if your baby is kicking off but you really need to cook dinner/ pee/ have a drink then you’ll have the option.

No-one other than snaggle toothed earth mothers 'wore' their babies back in the day. Some me even had forward facing pushchairs. Kids all survived. Do what suits you, OP.

I didn’t bother using a pram with DC3 because I had my DC very close together and by the time she was born I was sick and tired of lugging a buggy around so I carried both DC2 and 3 (one on front, one on back) everywhere I went. It made public transport and walking around certain smaller stores a lot easier. However by the time she was 18 months my back had had enough and I bought a pushchair.

It’s not for everyone. It is faffy and not every carrier/sling suits everyone so there’s a lot of trial and error involved. Just do what feels right.

I 'wore' my second baby in a sling. I hate the term 'babywearing' though. I've got to say I loved it. I do a lot of walking through the woods to pick my eldest up from school so it really was invaluable.
Also, probably coincidence but my son who I never used a sling with was a terrible sleeper and my daughter who I did use a sling with was an excellent sleeper. I will be using one with my DC3 when they are here just because I found it so useful.
I totally understand that its not for everyone though. My best friend once said we (babywearers) all look a bit smug with ourselves. I get where she's coming from and it's currently very 'trendy' where I live. Just do what you want to do don't feel pressured one way or the other.

I never wore my baby. She hated being constantly held, always used to try and squirm away from whoever was holding her if she'd had enough and when older would shout at us haha. Much preferred sitting in her buggy when she was older looking at the world. We also bought a high chair that she could sit in from an early age so she could watch us cook when in the kitchen/be close when we discovered she wasn't a clingy type which was the best decision ever. Got to be able to eat dinner sat next to a happy gurgling baby who was content to be watching us. Don't get me wrong, she loved cuddles and being close to us (still does now she is older!) but didn't and doesn't need the constant contact that a sling gave, she needed the space. Plus she was a very big and long baby at birth and continued to be and I'm not a big person. Do what you prefer and you might end up with a baby who likes their space too and in which case they may not like the sling. Friends babies loved it though so I think it depends on the baby!! Expecting DC #2 and I'm keeping an open mind, a lot depends on the personality of DC2.

It can be handy but some of these 'baby wearers' do sound a bit evangelical.
Just don't let anyone come around and tell you what to do...find some phrase to repeat at them..

Wasn't up to me DD was petite 6lb6 & very clingy she screamed in pram & NEVER slept in cot for first year - turned out she had reflux but because she was still gaining weight docs & health visitor didn't care

They're a useful form of transport especially if u have multiple children and one of the others still needs a buggy. Or if you want to go somewhere thats not really accessible for the buggy/ pram. I've used a sling or carrier at different times with all 3 of mine and found them useful.
I personally wouldn't buy a pram and didnt use one with my 3rd baby at all despite having 1. I did invest in a new offroad buggy though that lies flat. I think you learn and adapt to your own needs with these things.

I agree with the pp who said it doesn't matter what the term is being used to call it . The term might be irritating but the tool might be useful . If you have a Velcro baby who loves to be held/ cuddled/ upright and you have other things to be getting on with then it is a useful consideration . It depends on the baby and your circumstances . My first baby would happily coo in her bouncer , play mat or Moses basket and would just be held when fed and then put down again - she liked her own space . My third screamed the place down unless he was being rocked and cuddled and then he'd go off into an instant sleep . The sling meant he was quiet and slept most of the time so it saved my sanity . I would have hated those early days otherwise .

I tried it, my DD hated it.

I think it mostly depends where you live and where you want to take the baby. I use a pram in some situations and the sling in other situations. Sling is great for going up and down steps, going 'off-road', walking about in the snow, going round the shops where a pram might be a bit unwieldy, going on public transport. That sort of thing. Anything where it would be better to just be able to walk on your own legs rather than deal with a large wheeled object as well.

For just walking around on smooth, clear pavements/paths I prefer a pram because it's a lot less physical effort and you don't get so hot.

I never really used the sling in the house like some people do. I appreciate some babies demand to be held all the time and then a sling is a good way to be able to do something else. But you do lose a lot of freedom of movement so imo putting them on the floor is better if you can get away with it.

It's also pretty important to put your baby down for a bit every day if at all possible, as being completely unrestricted and free to move around is the best way for them to get stronger and more mobile. We are being a lot more serious about tummy time with our second child after our first experienced gross motor delays - but then again that might just have been her.

The baby bjorn was quite useful but I always always got back ache from it. Dh used it nore than me.

I never imagined I’d carry my baby in a sling but I got one when DC1 was a few months old and loved it, I found it much easier to get out and about on public transport. DC2 barely ever went in a buggy. I even managed a toddler on my back and Baby on my front. That said, DC2 is now 18 months old and I feel like I’ve had enough now!

You might find it useful, you might not. I’d recommend trying one, but I dislike when people get preachy and tell you that you ‘must’ do something. Different things work for different mums and babies.

I also never ‘wore’ my babies in the house. They both refused to be put down so I made the most of being trapped on the sofa and watched TV while having cuddles, it was brilliant.

I found it very useful for both mine. They were both very cuddly babies and I fed them a lot in the sling. It was great to not have to worry about where/ when to stop to feed them when I was out or busy. But I have several friends who never got on with them.

By pure coincidence earlier this was the first thread I saw after I'd just paid for a in like new condition baby carrier on eBay. I just didn't have time to respond then.

I don't think they are a must have for everyone, I wanted one because I feel it's a safer way to transport baby on occasions when I have to take her and pram down from our second floor flat by myself.

Also because I've seen so many babies look happy in them when out and about.

We don't plan on getting a sling though atm and I'd never refer to it as "wearing my baby" that makes her sound like an accessory rather than a human being.

You need to whatever works for you and your baby. Some babies are perfectly happy in a pram. Others, like my DC1, would scream blue murder if laid down in a pram, and so a baby carrier was our only option. Try to stay open minded and see how you feel once your baby is here.

I found it useful with second and third babies but I couldn't do it past ten weeks too painful on my back. It's great for tea time though which is always a hard time with a little baby and they tend to have a little nap in the sling while you're preparing tea

Also, from a practical point of view, carrying a tiny baby in a sling is much less of a PITA than a pram when visiting shops, going up and down stairs etc.

Both mine didn't go in a buggy until well past a year- second is almost 15 months and still exclusively carried.

So I'd say, yes, don't rule it out until you've been to a sling library.

Ridiculously useful, don't discount it until the baby is here!
#1 was a classic velcro baby, I learned very quickly how to carry safely and comfortably.
#2 came along under 2 years later and was the favoured plaything of #1, if I hadn't been able to carry as comfortably as I could he may not have made it to his first birthday. And nor may #1 as chasing her down would have been a challenge.
#3 is here 6 years later near enough. Funnily enough he is put down most out of all the kids as the other two are old enough to be trusted and he is a chilled little soul. However when I need to get stuff done around the house and he wants to be held being able to put him on either my front or back is a godsend. And out and about it is much easier unless I am just using the car seat on wheels for a quick trip.

TBH I have been involved in sling libraries in the past and in the main the parents involved only come across as evangelical as they can't imagine parenting without carrying, it certainly kept me sane at times. Of course for many it does go with a school of parenting, and whilst I never described it as 'wearing' I get where the term comes from. I always just tended to call it carrying however.

You may have a very chilled baby who is happy to be put down, you may not. Equally, with one child you can sit for as long as needed and devote yourself to their needs, this has to be modified with #2 so I know a lot of parents who only start carrying when they have a newborn and a toddler to contend with