to not “wear” my baby?

[Cosmiccowgirl84]

I’m pregnant and all I keep hearing about is baby wearing. I’ve been told so many times I must go to the sling library ...I’ve been given so many leaflets on baby wearing.

Ok so it’s my first child and I don’t know how I’ll feel when it’s born. Maybe once baby is here I’ll want to “wear” him or her.

But it seems like such an obsession. I was speaking to a Mum who reacted in horror when I suggested I might want to put my baby down.

Is it so bad to not wear your baby?

[AhhhhThatsBass]

I never gave any thought to it prior to the birth of my dd. For me, it was just handy to put her in a sling when I was going out so I didn’t always need a pram. FWIW, I never referred to it as baby wearing. I didn’t use a baby bjorn as any statement of attachment parenting. I quite liked the closeness of it as well as the fact that it easier, as I mentioned.
Different strokes.
Incidentally I never thought I would “co sleep”. (Hate that expression). But a friend loaned me one of those bed nests which attaches to the side of the bed and it was handy not to have to get up in the night. I’m all about an easy life. I say don’t make any decisions until you’ve had the baby and don’t worry too much about it either.

[lostherenow]

I used a sling and carrier loads for my second, was hugely helpful. (Often to keep kids apart and for trips where a pushchair wasn't practical.) However I used a pushchair a lot too, I just used whatever was most convenient. My first was a HUGE baby and I had a c-section so I wasn't really in physical shape to carry him for a long time and I didn't think much of it.

I thought it was a bit of a 'thing' in first pregnancy, like baby signing and baby massage. Something done by women with a lot of money who wanted do whatever was popular. I did baby massage (to get out of the house, it was cheap) with both babies, and baby signing with the second (as DS1 had a speech delay so it was early intervention again a possible delay for DS2.) However I also bf (13 months and 16 months) and used cloth nappies with DS2 and Im a vegetarian so I ticked all those stereotype boxes in the end. Although never with a big budget!

Do whatever seems easiest and makes you happy. Some things in parenting are a genuine, no right answer, choice. This is one of them.

[lostherenow]

Also I HATE the phrase baby wearing. I have never worn a baby.It is not a jumper or other item of clothing.

[BertieBotts]

I liked it but now I have a 9yo the whole "wearing" thing is baffling - it's just a baby product you may or may not find useful, not a cult!

But I do remember when DS was little and it did feel like this subversive exciting thing and I probably did get a bit overenthusiastic about it I think people mean well but maybe just mentally put a thick filter over their suggestions/responses/gushing before you reply to them

[Cagliostro]

I don’t like the phrase, I just say I’m taking her in the sling or using the sling etc

[StripeyDeckchair]

I had twins, physically impossible to "wear" two babies.
Didn't do it with the next two because I had DTs to run around after as well as the baby/DTs, toddler + baby

I firmly believe that providing the baby is loved and cared for and cuddled a lot they will sense they are loved

[YerAuntFanny]

It's definitely not "physically impossible" to carry 2 babies! It's not for everyone granted but I've seen many, many people carry 2 and even 3 children at once.

[Londonwriter]

@lostherenow "I thought it was a bit of a 'thing' in first pregnancy, like baby signing and baby massage."

Me too, but you don't have to "wear" a baby for dippy New Age philosophical reasons. I never "wore" my son in the house. I have four carriers of various shapes and sizes, and rarely - if ever - use a pushchair.

It's 90% convenience. I do weight training so he's easy to back carry - even at 16 months. I don't own a car. I live somewhere with lots of hills and steps and small shops with narrow aisles. When he was very little, I could even BF in the carrier while walking - and did so during a house viewing (with my boob concealed under a winter scarf).

No way can you do any of that stuff with a buggy...

[Notso]

I found slings were awful for anything more than a short stroll.
When I had DC4, DC3 was 16 months and had been walking independently for about 4 weeks.
Everyone said the sling was the way to go as I'd need hands free but I hated it. I had hands free to hold his hand or a toy but that was about it. I couldn't bend down to DC3 properly, couldn't pick him up, couldn't sit him on my knee comfortably, it was like being heavily pregnant all over again. Then there was the issue of where to put the 'stuff' two in nappies required, I felt like a pack horse with a bag on my back and baby on the front, sometimes trying to balance a tired toddler on my hip or shoulders or trying to push a buggy without the baby's legs or bum bumping into it.
On top of that DC4 hated being held when tired, he liked to stretch out and kind of complain him self to sleep and holding or swaddling made him scream.
A double pram I could push with one hand was far better for me on my own and the sling for a little walk somewhere when I was with DH to help out.

[Eltonjohnssyrup]

I had twins, physically impossible to "wear" two babies.

It can be done! I had two in a stretchy when they were small and a Twingo when they were bigger. It was quite useful to be able to do that when we were going to places where a double pram wouldn’t go in. Twingos split in half two, so I could have two on me on a train then split and give one to DH or my Mum when they met me off the train.

[mummyoftvef]

I only carried my youngest and I loved it, I still do carry her now even tho she's 2, but is not for everyone do what you feel comfortable with

[Notso]

Londonwriter my sister manages with all those obstacles and a buggy. She has epilepsy so cannot use a sling incase she has a fit while 'wearing' the baby, instead she has a decent pushchair with air tyres and an automatic brake. She copes just fine.

[Londonwriter]

@Notso I understand, but - for me - it's just a lot more uncomfortable and awkward (in my experience) to use a buggy.

Whatever works for you, though - there isn't a wrong or right answer - I personally find it easy carrying my DS and my work laptop. In so far as it's not easy, I enjoy the workout. For other people, that might not be the right solution.

Certainly, this isn't a moral issue. As someone mentioned further up, baby carriers are a tool, not a moral issue. I wouldn't want to put someone off carrying a child nor do I think they're a bad person for using a buggy :)

[Yukbuck]

I think this thread just proves that one thing doesn't suit everyone. There are 1000s of buggies on the market. But there will still be people who like certain ones and not others. The same goes for wearing the baby in a sling. I work in childcare and slings have been a godsend. When you have 2 or more toddlers, you can carry one and put another in the buggy.

I haven't read the full thread but will answer a question or two that I've read. In terms of where to put your stuff.. I have a small rucksack that I wear. Or with an ergo, put a couple of nappies in and some wipes. We are usually only going somewhere local so that's all that's needed. I don't understand what people fill their huge changing bags with anyway.
It's not for everyone and that's fine. But I've never struggled to bend down and see to one even with a 16 month old on my front. If you wear the sling correctly (clip lower down on the bag, straps pulled tight enohvh) then I can barely notice that I'm carrying to be honest.

[FranticallyPeaceful]

It’s mostly for busy people or people with other kids, it makes life easier and if you want to help the baby bond.

If you don’t fall into those categories then it probably won’t benefit you, and to be honest this is a weird post anyway. I get leaflets on swaddle wraps and people telling me to swaddle my baby but both of mine hated it an proffered cuddling - so won’t be buying this time. Don’t feel the need to write a post about it though.

[kaytee87]

I never did. Still attended to him immediately when he needed something or just wanted held. He's a happy, confident toddler now (people comment on how confident he is). So it can't have done him any harm not being in a sling constantly.
Some babies need to be held constantly and in that case a sling would be handy. No need to decide now, your baby will decide for you.

[FranticallyPeaceful]

Preferred*

[FranticallyPeaceful]

(Also I hate the term baby wearing, it’s just carrying the baby because some need it and some don’t. As PP said, your baby will let you know. It made my life easier whereas some would hate it)

[MrsCharlieD]

I used a sling rarely with ds1 but ds2 lives in it. Means I can do stuff with ds1 without lugging the pram about. I know people that love it and people that hate it. Maybe see how you feel once baby is here?

[KNain]

I never did it with DS. I hated the idea, and I could tell from pretty much day 1 that DS would have hated it to - he's always been (and still is) very wriggly and he wasn't even that keen on being held!

But I'm currently pregnant with DC2 and I know I'm going to have to get a carrier/sling because it will be more practical as I'll need my hands free for DS, and I'll have to hope this child likes it (or at least doesn't hate it!).

I'm still not keen but I'm sure it's just one of those things that I'll get used to, and in the scheme of things won't be for that long.