What would you do about this?

[whattodoaboutman]

I am posting this here for traffic. I don't know how to deal with this or if I am blowing it out of all proportion.

A local man is a frequent user of the local sports centre. Many people know him as he's there so often.

When there is a children's sports club on the pool is closed to the public but the sauna is still open. This man will use the sauna and then walk into the changing rooms and strip off when the room has about 20 children in there and then shower naked next to the boys in the shower which is also communal.

He then goes to change and stands next to the boys who are getting changed, the boys find this intimidating. There are no separate cubicles yet, though they will be provided soon according to the centre management.

I think this is inappropriate but when it has been mentioned to the club safeguarding person and centre management nothing has been done.

What should I do ?

This sounds very, very wrong & the sports centre management need to act urgently.
Please email & phone as soon as you can (to produce a discoverable document & raise the profile to management).

Tell them you will be informing the council unless they close the sauna area too at these times. Totally inappropriate.

So a man has used the sportscentre and gone into the Male changing rooms and got showered and changed?

I would also find this uncomfortable. Agree with above advice

Yes that is what he has done that but has chosen to shower naked in front of a group of pre-teen/teenage boys who find it intimidating. I feel that it would be more appropriate for him to shower with his trunks on.

How are you involved?

Obviously he could be a sexual predator of some sort.

But he could also just be using the facilities as he normally would - lots of people shower naked in the communal showers, adults and children. I don't, but I seem to be very much in the minority at my local pool.

Depending on the layout/facilities at your leisure centre, is there anywhere else he could change? If the pool is closed for the club then perhaps it would be better for them to also have exclusive use of the changing facilities.

But he hasn’t actually done anything wrong. The sports centre is open to the public and he’s using the facilities.

Can’t the sports centre provide a group changing area for the boys?

My child is in the changing room at the time. No, there is nowhere else that he can change.

Then your issues ismwith the sports centre and not him. He’s not doing anything wrong.

So it's appropriate for one adult to choose to shower naked when with twenty or so boys who are nothing to do with him?

Bluedoglead Naked, you forgot the word NAKED in your post.

Yes.

He’s allowed to. It’s changing rooms. Some people do shower naked. I have to if I go swimming or I end up with an excema flare up.

Sometimes there are young girls in the changing rooms. Should I shower with my swimming costume on so as not to annoy them even though it will upset my skin?

He showers NAKED.

so do I.

Ffs. It’s a changing room. He gets changed.

They need to close the sauna as well. This behaviour would make me very uncomfortable. Most men would avoid going near a changing room full of young boys precisely because their actions would be open to misinterpretation.

He could be a sexual predator. Or he could be oblivious to the problems this is causing. Or he could be deliberately trying to make a point that he's not going to change his behaviour just because there are children around.

Have any of you tried telling how you feel about this? If you have and he still carried on I'd find that more worrying.

I would cpntact the local council safeguarding team/SS. It sounds highly inappropriate.
If they don't have better changing facilities then they should shut whilst the youth group is on. To be honest it sounds as if their facilities are inadequate. They should have separate changing for groups and individuals. No school group would use a changing room that couldn't be reserved purely for their group.

If anything happened (or anything more than this intimidation) then the Sports centre and the sports club would both find themselves in very deep water.

Parents have mentioned it to the centre management before and he has been spoken to. Nothing changed.

But nothing has happened?

If it's a communal locker room, and this man is using it during operating hours when he is allowed to be there, then there's nothing management can do about it. Don't get me wrong, I think something is DEFINITELY off with this guy, especially if he makes it a point to be there when so many children are, but it doesn't sound as though he has actually done anything "wrong" as of yet. I would certainly be very wary of him.

Spoken to in what sense ?

I mean. If I was asked not to shower naked I would look at them like they had 3 heads. Our showers aresingke with curtains and I need to wash the chlorine off. I then wrap up in a dressing gown and get dressed. I can’t guarnatee no one gets a flash I do my best but it’s a changing room.

Why doesn’t the club have a separate changing area? That would be more usual.

It could be perfectly innocent or not, but either way surely the centre should provide changing facilities exclusively for the children to use? Seems pointless closing the pool to the public if you're then going to let the public in the changing room with them, which is a much bigger safeguarding issue.

I don’t know how I feel about this. I understand the discomfort with the situation and it certainly sounds odd, but he’s technically not doing anything wrong.

Would you feel uncomfortable if it was a woman showering naked with girls?

On one side, he isn't doing anything wrong. It is a changing room, people shower and change and at some or all of the points in that process will need to be naked. A lot of people don't see naked as an issue.

But it is the reason I wouldn't send my 8 year old into a male changing room to change alone when we are at swimming (despite the fact, according to MN I should) because you never know sadly. As for a group of boys, none of which are alone at any point - then there isn't an issue (unless there is more too this and the man is excited by this or predatory in some way?).

Wait a minute. I've only read the first few responses but he's not doing anything wrong.
I do this on the girls side. (Im the only adult in a swim club).
I'm not doing anything wrong.

When I was a child many moons ago our local sports centre had separate changing rooms for kids (split boy/girl) and these ere used for school lessons and for team activities.

I’d be slightly meh about the situation, but has it been proved he only goes there when they boys are showering. If so then something should be done. If it’s his daily routine then it is what it is.