What would you do about this?

[whattodoaboutman]

I am posting this here for traffic. I don't know how to deal with this or if I am blowing it out of all proportion.

A local man is a frequent user of the local sports centre. Many people know him as he's there so often.

When there is a children's sports club on the pool is closed to the public but the sauna is still open. This man will use the sauna and then walk into the changing rooms and strip off when the room has about 20 children in there and then shower naked next to the boys in the shower which is also communal.

He then goes to change and stands next to the boys who are getting changed, the boys find this intimidating. There are no separate cubicles yet, though they will be provided soon according to the centre management.

I think this is inappropriate but when it has been mentioned to the club safeguarding person and centre management nothing has been done.

What should I do ?

I can see why the boys would feel uncomfortable. Iirc at school it was almost a competition to see who could get changed after PE without 'revealing' anything. With changing bodies around that age I think all kids are self conscious.
If said man is simply showering and changing then that is one thing, but if he's lingering excessively in the shower or encroaching needlessly on the area the boys are using to change than that's another thing.
Our leisure centre just has a row of shower heads along one wall, no curtains or screening from each other or the rest of the room. There is also a sign asking those who want to shower naked to use the disabled loo/shower combo room within the main changing room. I think that's fair enough.

But he could get changed in private. I wouldn't have this it's inappropriate. I wouldn't have my son being there being some pet a wank fodder

Just realised I assumed the kids ages, sorry! Although if they were very young they wouldn't notice a naked man particularly...

This is getting fucking ridiculous.

He’s done nothing wrong. How do you know he’s making a point of going there when the kids are? Maybe it’s just his routine

Heat Where? There's no cubicles, it says so in the OP.

Dipping he has the option of using the men's changing rooms alone??

My god, nobody showers naked in our swimming pool's communal showers...

I think you're right to be concerned.

I’m usually the last one to cry child abuser and generally stick up for men who often get judged and labelled for no reason... some of the threads on here are paranoid suspicious, and ridiculous however I would be a little uncomfortable with this not as a one off but if this was a regular pattern of behaviour.... yes nudity is normal and the vast vast majority of men aren’t child abusers but I think this could make others wary and uncomfortable. He is of course entitled to use the facilities and shower naked but in my opinion the leisure centre should be providing shower cubicles to avoid embarrassment and discomfort.

I think the issue is that OP says it’s been mentioned to him that the kids are uncomfortable by the management, so it’s either a very rigid adherence to a schedule & immunity to social embarrassment, a Fuck You to authority and people seeing paedophiles on every corner & a lack of respect fir the children’s feelings, or something actually worrying.

No way to tell. I think the management should shut the sauna, if that is the only other facility open at that time to the general public.

I think it depends on lots of things, on the face of it he isn't doing anything wrong - if he is deliberately going at this time in order to get some kind of kick from either being naked in amongst pubescent boys or looking at pubescent boys then it's a different matter.

I did however get flamed on here at being unhappy with fully dressed adults hanging about in changing rooms with naked children whilst fiddling about on smart mobile phones. Apparently DC should just suck it up....

How old are these 'children'?

This is definitely a safeguarding issue. I think you are right to peruse it. The guy could be totally innocent but in this context it’s problematic. I’ve been shot down for this story before but it’s true. My child’s school was at a school swimming lesson when a man went into their changing room and wanked over their clothes. He was caught at it when the children returned. It cause a lot of upset and was easily preventable. So is your situation.

My god, nobody showers naked in our swimming pool's communal showers...

I do. They're showers and there isn't always a private one available. Everyone else in there is a woman, why on earth would it be a problem?

What do people think of my situation then? I'm a good swimmer (ex international - relevant); so as a 40 yr old I train with our swim clubs elite squad (13-20 yr olds) because I am their standard rather than the other masters who swim separately. So, I get showered and changed with them at the end of our session in the female communal changing room.
It has never occurred to me (or any of the girls as far as I know), that I shouldn't be doing this.

I’ve been shot down for this story before but it’s true. My child’s school was at a school swimming lesson when a man went into their changing room and wanked over their clothes.

This is very different to going to a public pool, using the sauna and showering!

been shot down for this story before but it’s true. My child’s school was at a school swimming lesson when a man went into their changing room and wanked over their clothes. He was caught at it when the children returned.
What a massive leap

arethereany I would say it’s not your sex that makes it different, but that you are part of the club and an integral part of the training/team sport. You have an entirely legitimate and understood reason to be showering with them, having taken part in the same activity. I’m going to assume you’re probably also DBS checked?

This is a man choosing to use the facilities at this time despite not being involved in the club, and having been spoken to by management about how it is viewed.

I don’t think it’s a massive leap. The man’s behaviour is not appropriate and in any case, the group hasn’t been risk assessed very well.

What am I missing here?

@NoSquirrels I am dbs checked but just because of my job, I wasn't asked to for this hobby, and I don't suppose they'd know I was. But I take your point; I have to be in the changing room at exactly the same time as them, he probably doesn't.

TheHungryDonkey, you don't think using a shower for its actual purpose is a massive leap to wanking over the kid's clothes?

Blimey...

The man’s behaviour is not appropriate

But it is though ... appropriate behaviour in a changing room is getting showered and changing, which is exactly what this man is doing.

There is an open shower and no individual cubicles so he has no choice but to share the space if he is there at the same time as the school group (which he has every right to be as the facilities are open to the public and he has paid his membership/entrance fee to use them). He is also not obliged to alter his routine just because others don't like it when he is doing noting inappropriate in the context of the setting.

If the school group don't like it then they either need to pay for exclusive use of the facilities so nobody else can use them at the same time they are there or go elsewhere if the centre cannot provide individual facilities to allow private patrons to also use the facilities without being accused of inappropriate behaviour.

Well put, melj1213

That's the long and the short of it really.

I don’t think it’s a massive leap.

I do. Bloody hell.