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AIBU?

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Original poster

To secretly record him?

190 replies

reddingtn · 01/02/2018 13:03

NC for obvious reasons. I recently started driving lessons with a guy who is a friend of a friend. He works for a well known local company.

The thing is, I hate learning with him as he always makes lewd comments. Last lesson he commented that he liked my bra and could see it through my jumper, leaned over me repeatedly to put the windscreen wipers on and off and said my hair smelled nice with a leer. Also brags all his female students are after him blah blah, dirty innuendos etc, threatening to spank me if I don't do x driving skills right at the junction.

He knows my boyfriend, and I've actually got really stroppy at him, saying his language is inappropriate, rude and disrespectful to me and DP, but he still doesn't stop. I'm late 20s he's early 40s if it matters.

I can't cancel as I've paid money upfront for a bulk discount. I am now fed up of him and dreading my next lesson, so wondered about recording him on my phone, as he'll deny anything if I make a complaint to the company. I'm also worried I'll jeopordise future lessons/money paid if I complain before I pass/use up the lessons I've paid for. Has anyone got any ideas on how to handle this?

OP posts:
GetDownDog · 01/02/2018 13:05

Get a different instructor and inform the company he works for.

GetDownDog · 01/02/2018 13:06

If you tackle this through his company they should refund your money I would think.

Chaosofcalm · 01/02/2018 13:07

Ring the company and tell them what is going on and ask for your money back. Don’t have any more lessons with this horrid man.

IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 01/02/2018 13:08

Inform the company he works for. If they don't refund your money, threaten them with small claims court and bad reviews.
I think they'll be grateful you called tbh - his behaviour is threatening their business.

cherryontopp · 01/02/2018 13:08

I would record him, why not? Youve asked for him to stop and refused. Get evidence because as you say he'll deny it black and blue

TheQueenOfWands · 01/02/2018 13:09

Yes! Record him! Do it!

We need to stand up to people like this!

I've spent too many years whimpering and running away from scary men.

I am right beside you with this!

Record him. Show his company.

lackingimagination · 01/02/2018 13:09

A lot of driving instructors are self employed.

lackingimagination · 01/02/2018 13:11

Sorry, didn't finish my post...

A lot of driving instructors are self employed and they would get away with this behaviour so take advantage of this and show the world what a disgrace he is and put a stop to this kind of behaviour being accepted!! (I know of at least 4 other women reporting similar behaviour but not feeling able to stand up to it)

jurrasicPerk · 01/02/2018 13:12

Yes, record him. Then demand a refund (including lessons you've had) from him or the company.

This has nothing to do with small claims court.

lackingimagination · 01/02/2018 13:12

Oh god I'm having a mare... reporting similar behaviour as in to me... not officially reporting it... because they were self employed.

I'm going to put my phone down now and have a nap 😂

hellsbellsmelons · 01/02/2018 13:16

Yes record him.
I'd also tell my DP and have him there when he turns up next. Get him to 'have a word' with him. Not too Mafia style but you know what I mean!?

Falmer · 01/02/2018 13:21

I had this but when I phoned the company didn't mention it, was too embarrassed. I just said I'd changed my mind and requested a refund. The man on the phone asked if I'd had any kind of harassment from the instructor because he'd already been getting complaints from other women!! He assured me the instructor would now be leaving. I declined the offer of a new instructor and I received an apology and refund. Went to another company, brilliant instructor and passed first time. So, I would advise you explain the situation to the manager and I bet you won't be the only one. Sorry you're going through this, it stinks! Flowers

QuiteLikely5 · 01/02/2018 13:24

Take your dp in future lessons if you insist on staying with the instructor

He must be a member of some organisation so I’d report him

MoonlightKissed · 01/02/2018 13:25

Definitely complain to the company he is with, unless he is independent.

Also complain to the driving instructors agency - all instructors have to be registered and approved - a quick google should give you their details.

JaneEyre70 · 01/02/2018 13:33

Please report him to the DVSA. It's different but we reported a lady instructor my DD used for 2 lessons. She was vile, shouting and making my DD feel utterly stupid. A google snoop revealed several others had made the same comments about her, and I felt very angry as DD was only 17 at the time and it really knocked her confidence.

This guy is a menace, and imagine being 17 and stuck in a car with him making the same innuendoes......... he's alone with vulnerable young women.

neveradullmoment99 · 01/02/2018 13:34

Why on earth are you still taking lessons with him? Complain and get a different instructor from a different place!

LilQueenie · 01/02/2018 13:35

record him and report. personally would be putting allover fb too as I can't stand scum like him. they only do it cause they think you won't do or say anything.

Orangecake123 · 01/02/2018 13:35

Record him to get proof.

Then email it to his company and ask for a refund.

neveradullmoment99 · 01/02/2018 13:35

Oh and ask for a refund.

Original poster
reddingtn · 01/02/2018 13:37

I have told my DP but kind of want to handle this myself. We live in a small town where everyone knows everyone and instructor and I have friends in common etc, so I am apprehensive about the fallout from this if I report him. But if he's doing it to me he's doing it to other girls as well...

OP posts:
idontlikealdi · 01/02/2018 13:37

Report him. Someone may not be able to push off his grubby hands.

TulipsInAJug · 01/02/2018 13:38

Yes, have one more lesson and record him. Then report.

LilQueenie · 01/02/2018 13:38

are you at all hesitant because he is a friend of your friend OP? A true friend would not be allowing this to happen to you. they possibly don't even know he is like this so go ahead and report. You can do it.

SweetMoon · 01/02/2018 13:39

very inappropriate and sounds exactly like my driving instructor 20 years ago, he was in his 20s then. Sure not the same guy though! same kinds of comments. I didnt report it because I was 17 and very shy, he most likely does it with everyone and gets away with it, what a piece of scum.

SweetMoon · 01/02/2018 13:40

and yes record him