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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Teacher described me as hopeless

424 replies

Bluepeony · 20/01/2018 16:09

I got a phone call yesterday about some missing homework and I responded politely.

Anyway, we had said goodbye and I heard the teacher say to someone else ‘she is hopeless isn’t she, ‘

I get she didn’t mean me to hear but I’m still so angry ... should I say anything?

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 20/01/2018 16:11

That was completely inappropriate.
Why do you think they said it? And was it definitely about you?

cansu · 20/01/2018 16:11

I doubt she was talking about you. You dont know whether anything else was happening in the background. Just let it go.

duckdarlington · 20/01/2018 16:11

How do you know it was about you?
What were you saying in response to the missing homework?

MoodyTwo · 20/01/2018 16:12

Are you sure she was talking about you?
I would think she was talking about something else and she was trying to do two things at once x

Original poster
Bluepeony · 20/01/2018 16:12

No, I don’t think so ... she said x’s mum ... she’s hopeless.

OP posts:
thepatchworkcat · 20/01/2018 16:13

I would also think she was probably talking about someone else to a colleague in the background. Still not great though!

CuriousaboutSamphire · 20/01/2018 16:14

The chances are the teacher had already moved onto whatever else was happening in the staff room. It is unlikely it was about you.

Unless, of course you, were being utterly daft about the missing homework...?

onalongsabbatical · 20/01/2018 16:14

Obviously I don't know, and I'd be upset if I was you, too, but from your description it honestly sounds like it could be the continuation of a conversation that wasn't about you. I do that - talk on the phone and talk to someone else about something else - so if I were you I'd try and see it like that and let it go.
I understand that might be hard. What's your contact with this teacher normally like? Any other reason she might say this about you? Because, if there isn't, it's really likely to be something else, as I said.

SleepFreeZone · 20/01/2018 16:14

Why would she describe you as hopeless though unless there was a back story!

Dermymc · 20/01/2018 16:15

Is there any truth in it? Are you ineffectual?

It's the sort of thing I'd think about a parent I was having regular contact with and nothing changed.

Hurtful to hear for you and not professional of her to let you hear Flowers

chickenowner · 20/01/2018 16:15

Teachers need to let off steam sometimes, just like any other professionals.

Are you hopeless?

chocolateorangeowls · 20/01/2018 16:16

Really 🤨

CuriousaboutSamphire · 20/01/2018 16:16

Oops! Cross post... so she identified you?

Sad you heard it, but maybe, if you really were being utterly daft about the homework, you can take it on the chin and sort out at possible issue!

Slightlyperturbedowlagain · 20/01/2018 16:16

This is the trouble with primary homework before about year 5 when the children should be able to manage it properly themselves- I have enough ‘homework’ of my own to do. What’s even worse is that it’s also fairly pointless according to research, though I think reading, times tables and spellings are worth while.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 20/01/2018 16:17

Primary?

Pengggwn · 20/01/2018 16:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StargazyDrifter · 20/01/2018 16:19

That's unprofessional and unkind. I'd ask for a quick word with the teacher and politely try to get to the root of the comment- if it's just letting off steam then fine, let's all move on, if they really do think something isn't up to scratch I'd like to hear it and either put it right or put right their perception of it.

Christmascardqueen · 20/01/2018 16:21

Is it your child’s homework or yours?
If your an adult learner and a teacher is phoning you about multiple pieces of missing homework you just might be ill suited for the course.

Original poster
Bluepeony · 20/01/2018 16:23

I’m sure she didn’t mean for me to hear it, but I am still quite put out. I was perfectly polite about the homework, but what did she want me to say?

OP posts:
LipstickHandbagCoffee · 20/01/2018 16:23

Ouch hearing that. If you habitually forget, well that is bit dizzy and hopeless
If you never make omissions and this was out of character, it was uncalled for
But no I wouldn’t pursue overheard comment with teacher
Although no doubt someone will rock up with a sassy scripted reply for you to use

Pengggwn · 20/01/2018 16:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BoneyBackJefferson · 20/01/2018 16:24

Could you hear what the other person was saying?

If so you only have half the conversation.

Could be

teacher (to you) - bye
other teacher- who was that
teacher - X's mum
other teacher - spoke to Y's mum earlier
teacher - she's hopeless

CuriousaboutSamphire · 20/01/2018 16:24

Can we start again?

Whose homework?

What did you say?

NovemberWitch · 20/01/2018 16:25

How many times this year has this sort of thing happened? Missing work/PE kit, lateness, reading books...are you a disorganised parent?
Because some parents are hopeless at getting their shit together. We just aren’t supposed to register it in any way, because it is unprofessional.

WorraLiberty · 20/01/2018 16:28

If you've never said anything similar in private to someone else, about someone else then crack on and say something.

Otherwise, accept that they're entitled to their opinion, as much as you understandably don't like it.

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