Teacher described me as hopeless

[Bluepeony]

I got a phone call yesterday about some missing homework and I responded politely.

Anyway, we had said goodbye and I heard the teacher say to someone else ‘she is hopeless isn’t she, ‘

I get she didn’t mean me to hear but I’m still so angry ... should I say anything?

CanIBuffalo The teacher is paid to teach shes not paid to be a bitch. Fair enough say what you want but in those jobs you will be held to account if someone complains.

What did you say?

I agree that you'll regularly hear similar or worse said in a staffroom.

It's really something that I'd try to avoid ever saying in earshot of that parent (or child) though so it is inappropriate, but easily done.

As for the hopelessness thing, I assume it's related to often not bringing in required items or something like that. It's not something I myself would say about a parent if it's a one off event.

I said I’m sorry about that, I’ll tell him to do it tonight.

Since when is missing homework your responsibility. If the teacher is too shot at her job to make sure that childrencare enough to get it done that's on her. My parents did nothing more than ensure I had the necessary materials since theage of 8. I never failed to being in homework because my teachers were good.

"Not sure why its you thats hopeless if your kid hasnt done their homework."

I was thinking that also.

At that age I asked if they wanted any help with homework, was what needing doing for the next day done & in their bag & was their bag ready for the next day?

No checking by me!

I think I’d better ask her about it then as I have no idea why she called me hopeless.

Attendance and punctuality fine. Child achieving very well. I don’t know why she said it Then it could be that, as someone outlined previously, that you heard 2 parts of a sentence.

Do you talk to her often? You could ask her if there is anything she thinks you could be doing more, something your DS needs to work on. There would be nothing wrong with starting that conversation with "At the end of our last conversation I overheard you say I was hopeless and it got me wondering if there was something I was missing"

If it bothers/perplexes you then you probably should talk to her... not an email if you can manage though, they tend to get written in stone, used against you (and her) as evidence, etc.

You seem a bit hopeless at giving information on here, and conversation seems strained. Maybe the teacher has a point? Or more likely she was talking about someone else to someone else. Teachers are quite busy during the day so a phone call will be done in their free time as well as many other things.

Sounds bizarre! Never been phoned about homework. I'm a TA and we don't phone parents about homework. I would mention it in person to the teacher when you pick up.

"It's not something I myself would say about a parent if it's a one off event."

Would you ever be saying it about the parent of an 11yr old though?

Definitely put in a complaint. If shes saying that about you. Do you honestly think she's saying anything different about children who are struggling with SEN.

And how is training for the Olympic event in Leaping To Conclusions going for you?

I hate the SEN brigade argument that gets brought up on some threads, but it's ridiculous to just throw it in there like that without any correlation to sen being in the OP.

Op
On the basis of your approach to this thread
You’re hopeless!

Yes, oh so casually dropping the word hopeless into conversation, that’ll teach teacher
Such a clever riposte. That’ll show teacher who is hopeless. NOT
In fact in you do this, teacher will think you’re a bit odd. And won’t get the oblique reference for

Would you ever be saying it about the parent of an 11yr old though?

Depends on what the specific issue is, but probably not with an 11 year old. I would expect them to have more cop on and manage their own things.

If parents were continually making excuses for snowflake or something like that, then yes I probably would.

OK.

It sounds to me as though you are thinking: "Why am I 'useless'?" and you're worrying that there may be something else going on, which the teacher wants you to deal with but you can't see it, and she hasn't said.

Here's the thing - she didn't actually say, to you, that you are useless. She's only told you about the homework, so that is all she has asked you to get sorted.

Whatever was going on with that 'useless' remark, it's not, actually, something she wanted to raise with you.

And anything could be going on there: it might not even have been about you.

All you can deal with is the homework.

If you are really worried that there is more going on at school with your child, you'll have to ask/find out.

But there probably isn't.

We all stress about our children but I think you're probably worrying too much.

Or has this touched on something you've been worried about but can't quite articulate? How do you think your child is doing, generally? Happy? Engaged?

MsHarry

When she picks up? The child is 11yo!

Have they called you before? Do they regularly chase you for payments or punctuality? Even if you were hopeless, it's rude and unprofessional.

I didn’t mishear her. She said ‘Joe’s mum’s hopeless.’

Ok I used to pick DD up at 11 as we had to drive.

MsHarry, we phone parents all the time, it’s an expectation from the school and from parents. Good stuff, bad stuff, happy/sad children. Then there’s the learning platform with constant photos and updates and extras. Every Week.

For those wondering about the phone call it is possible that it is another of those yardstick measures that become a stick with which to beat a teacher with.

One of the reasons I stopped teaching in FE was the greater burden upon me to chase up missed homework and coursework. I could be browbeaten asked by SMT to explain why I had let a student slip so far behind without raising it with the student and tutor. As a tutor I could be censured for not chasing it up with parents.

Lots of teachers, like myself, find such stuff to be the very last straw. It sucks the joy out of teaching and has knock on effects that suck much of the remaining joy out of learning!

Ok. We only phone if a child is sick or if there are issues relating to behaviour.

We use newsletters and achievement assemblies to celebrate the positives.