Teacher described me as hopeless

[Bluepeony]

I got a phone call yesterday about some missing homework and I responded politely.

Anyway, we had said goodbye and I heard the teacher say to someone else ‘she is hopeless isn’t she, ‘

I get she didn’t mean me to hear but I’m still so angry ... should I say anything?

Not really Buffalo teachers can think/say what they like in the staff room and I'm sure they do but to say it when's parent can hear is rude and unprofessional imo

By age 11 I would expect most kids to sort out their own HW. Yours hasn't. That's why they've called.
You do sound a bit vague and hopeless TBH! You were "nice" when the teacher called you. Maybe they were hoping for supportive and effectual?!
Does your child normally do HW? Do they often forget lunch or PE kit? Do you have to be chased for permission forms etc?

Most parents sign a home/school agreement that covers something about homework.

Perhaps you should ask to see a copy OP?

I really can’t imagine how the conversation with the teacher is going to go.

“I think I may have overheard you calling me hopeless as you hung up on me on Friday. I’ve stewed about it all weekend and now I want an apology”

I’m cringing even thinking about it.

If it really annoyed you, you should have called back immmediately.

Kill Her

Pengggwn

Just ignore the gf

You seem a bit hopeless at giving information on here, and conversation seems strained.

Agree with this I'm afraid. Maybe this is how you come across to the teacher but you don't realise.

I dread to think what they say about me in the staffroom!!!

Yoda That'll larn 'er!

MsHarry but presumably at 11yo you picked her up outside the school/met her in the car park?

You weren’t meeting her outside the classroom with opportunity for cosy chats with her teachers?

How old is the child anyway ? Ds1 really struggles academically he used to get homework sent home that was way beyond his capabilities now I always help him with his homework but I refuse to do it for him so when he had no idea, I used to phone the school and tell them ds1 hasent a clue so hes not doing it .

I hate AIBU.

Yes, perhaps she meant hopeless at communication, rather than being a hopeless person/parent?

Complain it's completely unprofessional and inappropriate. Imagine if this had happened in a customer services type interaction? Would he employer just have said, oh yes that's fine, people need to let off steam! No you would be disciplined if a customer heard you talking about them like that.
One thing that pisses me off about schools and teachers is that they always seem to think you have nothing else to do than run around dropping everything to do the tasks they have set you. Whatever it is and whatever else you might have going on. Do homework every night, then can you send your child in dressed as a bee tomorrow. No I fucking can't. And homework for primary aged children has been shown to not add any value in terms of their overall attainment so I wouldn't bother stressing about it. They shouldn't be putting pressure on you or the children to do something that has no point or value, ab stops children resting and playing. Next time she rings you tell her that.

My choice of word would have been 'frustrating' rather than 'hopeless'.

But I definitely would have blown off steam by saying, "Arrggh she's so frustrating!"

Nothing wrong with that. We're all human.

I think she was very careless saying that whilst you were still on the line, that's what's unprofessional here. I expect she'd be quite embarrassed to know that You heard her!

It seems bizarre if your DS is always punctual and this is the first time she's mentioned your DS doing his homework. But I suspect he has forgotten his homework before and she's brought it up with him at school. This is just the first time she's brought it up with you

But why would you describe me as either frustrating or hopeless for being polite?

Oh, I don’t know!

I wonder if she was expecting something more from your response than that you would make sure the homework got done? The fact that she phoned you suggests it was something she had told your dc would happen as a kind of punishment for not getting homework in so maybe she was hoping you would say you were going to give him a stern talking-to.

Whatever the reason it was unprofessional and snide.

Is it possible that you were polite but a bit... wet?

That would explain it.

"But I suspect he has forgotten his homework before and she's brought it up with him at school. "

Then she should have told Op that-that her son seems to need help to remember stuff.

Maybe you were polite, but in a hopeless kind of way.

By age 11 surely it’s the child they should be holding responsible. Yes a phone call to alert a parent if a pattern of not doing it emerges so the child can be supervised until they engage, but honestly I assumed this was a younger child from what had been said.

I wonder what she thinks I should say then.

Cross-post with Thistle